Time for a change...

[alicia_92]

This is my first time visiting this website. I'm not even really sure what to write here! I just know that sometimes writing down how I'm feeling can make me feel better about things.

I have suffered from negative, irrational thinking for some time now. I've always been a massive over-worrier, ever since I was small, getting anxious over small things and being unable to sleep. When I was 13 (8 years ago now) I started displaying symptoms of OCD- I never got it professionally diagnosed but having to go through a horrible year of 'needing' to touch things and endlessly count things just to be able to relax made it clear to me that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. Eventually, it went away on it's own, which I was extremely thankful for.

Now, I'm a 2nd year university student, in a happy relationship with a boy that I've been close friends with for a few years now, and I'm living at home for my final year of uni. Despite seemingly appearing happy, confident and relaxed, most of the time I feel far from it. I wake up most days now feeling anxious, and throughout the day my brain is buzzing with irrational and ridiculous thoughts- ranging from thinking about my boyfriend's exes and how I compare, to what my friends think about me, to what I'm going to do for my dissertation and post-graduation etc. A lot of the time I'm reduced to tears due to feeling worthless and like a burden to my friends and family. There's a constant voice in the back of my head trying to convince me that eventually my boyfriend will get fed up and my friends will lose interest in me.

A few weeks ago I finally felt brave enough to admit that I don't want to carry on suffering like this. It's making me so unhappy, and despite talking to different people about it (like my mum, sister, boyfriend etc) I feel like the only way this is going to get truly better is by seeing someone professional and talking to them. I have an appointment booked in a few days time, and despite feeling really nervous about taking this first proper step, I am eager to get this under control once and for all.

[Jetstar]

Hi Alicia_92,

Welcome to the Forum

The 'Get Help' section of our website is a good place to start exploring the support available to you: anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/

'Talking Therapies' such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Clinical Hypnotherapy and Counselling are some of the most effective tools for treating anxiety disorders. You can find out more about them here: anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/t...

Anxiety UK has a large team of qualified and accredited therapists practising throughout the UK who are able to offer private therapy at significantly reduced rates. Fees range from £12 – £50 per session dependant on client’s income. Therapy can be face-to-face, phone or web-cam. Many of our therapists are also able to offer home visits for those members who have difficulty travelling. Therapies offered are Cognitive behavioural Therapy (CBT), Clinical Hypnotherapy, Counselling, Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). You can find out what therapies are offered in your area at: anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/ .

Admin

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi Alicia,

I'm sorry you've been suffering some time but glad you have recognised this as an issue and that you're taking the first step to make things better for you. I want to wish you good luck with the appointment in a few days time.

Welcome to the site, you will find lots of support here so just blog anyway issues away and they'll always be someone to listen, advise, or offer support.

Wishing you all the best,

wanderingwallflower xx

[alicia_92]

Hi Fay,

Thank you for your kind words of advice, it really does help I'm really pleased that I found this site, think it's going to prove helpful for the next few weeks/months xx

[WheresThatGuy]

Hi Alicia,

It seems we're around the same age too which is nice to know we're not alone in our age group. I'm 22 by the way! It sounds like you've had a tough time working things out and trying to get to the root of your issue. I think you're doing a very admirable thing by accepting that you are ready to seek professional help. Remember, all of us, or most of us have done the same, and your doctor should not judge you as I'm sure they have heard it all before. Remember to do it for you, and no body else. You deserve to have your life the way you want it to be; and nobody has the right to tell you otherwise.

I know it took me a few attempts to finally admit the problem to a doctor but when I finally did, it all came out and I didn't even have to plan; it felt very natural.

Please stick in there, keep your head up high, remember you're definitely not alone, and it is your life and you deserve to make the absolute most of it.

Keep that all in mind whilst going on your journey of finding a helping hand and discovering the true you- I know it might sound patronising but were both still very young and only just coming out of childhood. We've got our whole lives ahead of us to discover the real us. Don't let the b**tards bring you down! As Brian blessed would say aha!

Take care and if you need to speak to someone on a personal level who is a complete randomer who knows exactly how you feel I'd be more than happy to provide an ear (or an eye, as I'm awful at speaking so obviously emails are easier!).

Stay strong! Stay smiling! x

[alicia_92 in reply to WheresThatGuy]

Hi there

Can I just say, reading your lovely message genuinely made me cry a little bit! And I don't mean that in a bad way, at all... it was just so nice to read and realise that I'm not alone in the way that I feel. You're a complete stranger yet the things you have written above are probably the nicest and most helpful advice I have been given since this has all started. Thank you so much... today has been a good day, and I'm determined to have many more of those. You stay smiling too, it takes a very strong and special person to be able to say words as touching as those, so be proud x