Hi folks! Spent another day at hospital I say day I lie I managed three hours then panic set in and had to get out . Mum is hour by hour all her organs sick but she hanging on in there for now ! Dad a terrible state having major meltdowns yet I cannot cry it's all bottled up inside can't sleep not sure how to get through another day but here I am thinking what to do how to cope .I was fine first day it just hit me yesterday you cannot prepare for this in any way . Oh well got to be strong for dad and my sisters I am eldest and feel I have to be strong but am so scared I will fall apart and end up at the doctors and on valium again so far so good not taken one at all can't believe it doc gave me one packet that's all he will let me have and he doesn't want me taking them at all really . I am rambling on this morning my apologies , my love to all and morning whywhy if you are there you are amazing !!!! xxxx Penny
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