second day at hospital not as successful!

[penelope061812]

Hi folks! Spent another day at hospital I say day I lie I managed three hours then panic set in and had to get out . Mum is hour by hour all her organs sick but she hanging on in there for now ! Dad a terrible state having major meltdowns yet I cannot cry it's all bottled up inside can't sleep not sure how to get through another day but here I am thinking what to do how to cope .I was fine first day it just hit me yesterday you cannot prepare for this in any way . Oh well got to be strong for dad and my sisters I am eldest and feel I have to be strong but am so scared I will fall apart and end up at the doctors and on valium again so far so good not taken one at all can't believe it doc gave me one packet that's all he will let me have and he doesn't want me taking them at all really . I am rambling on this morning my apologies , my love to all and morning whywhy if you are there you are amazing !!!! xxxx Penny

[Hidden]

Morning Penny

Come here

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

This is such a big ordeal you are going through , & would be for anyone that isn't suffering with anxiety , so please don't forget that & feel as the eldest , you have to be brave & strong , because you don't

You no I don't get out I think I told you , that's how I related to how you feel

I lost my Mum all of a sudden she was only 63 , which I thought we had years left with her

My Dad comes across as a strong man up till then that nothing could affect him , I have one sister older than me , again she seems to have nerves of steel

Then there is me

But both of them went to bits & guess who stepped up to the mark , yes me

Don't ask me how , to this day I don't no

I couldn't cry , as I didn't have time , trying to hold my Dad together & so on

Me that doesn't leave the house even was the one in the end that read out a poem in front of a church full of people because my sis , who is made of steel , couldn't , but when I needed to, out of the love for my Mum & knowing this was the last thing I could do for her ,I got up , shaking , trembling knees , holding back the tears & I did it

OK after I went to bits & back indoors , but there is that inner strength there , when we are really up against it

Don't feel as the eldest though this is all your responsibility , because its not

You did 3 hours yesterday , that's fantastic , what ever you can do today is fantastic

All here thinking about you & waiting if you need us

More hugs take them with you

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[henige in reply to Hidden]

Good reply Whwhy. We all know you have this inner strength just my reading your encouraging posts.

[Hidden]

Penelope,My heart and my thoughts are with you.

Whywhy has put it in such a kind and understanding way that I cannot add to her words.

Just to say I truly am thinking of you at this sad time.

Grog

xxx

[Bramwell]

I really feel for you.

It's a terrible situation to be in. I went through the same with my dad in 1995. He hung in there for 10 days before leaving us.