Saturday night - and stuck indoors

[nena]

Hi,

Its Saturday night, and I am stuck indoors. This is not necessarily a bad thing. But I used to have a very active social life. Now, because I have no real stable job, I have moved away from friends, and not much money, I find that I have no real social life either. I used to have something on every weekend, but this is the second weekend in a row where I find myself stuck indoors AND hating it. Bored. I would love to go out, chat to people, have a dance, and enjoy some social drinking.

I was all for having a more quiet life. But this level of boredom - where I have not gone out for a couple of months is killing me. The last couple of weekends it has hit me hard. I was supposed to go out with a friend tonight, but she cancelled last minute. And now I am more frustrated because I was really up for a night out. Lots of people have 'going out friends' - I did too, and we would often go to bars, clubs, or have girlie nights in together. But I fell out with one of them when her boyfriend failed to return some money to me, and she backed him up. She then said some really hurtful things to me. I refuse to apologise to her as since then I have realised that she has been self-centred and in large part fuelled the cause of my depression and anxiety issues. I don't really want to see her again. But would like to meet new people.

Does anyone have any suggestions of how I can find some nice people to socialise with?

[max111]

Cyber friends are a great temporary substitute for this I would say. Build up your confidence steadily because knock backs like this take time to heal. Talk and socialise with the people on this forum and build up your faith in human nature generally. Then utilise these learned skills to take with you into social situations and in time you will be surprised at how things will change for the better. Probably wont happen overnight but be patient and notice the changes.

Really hope this works for you

Remember this is just advice,take it or leave it.

Max

[nena]

Hi Max,

I appreciate your reply... I think i was just feeling lonely, and let down by my friend. You are right - building a network of friends online can work, and I should also see this as a form of socialising that can be just as enjoyable. Your comment has made me realise that actually I don't have to be feel lonely. And just as on this website, there are lots of people who I can reach out to for friendship and fun.

Many thanks,

Nena

[Hidden]

I moved to a new area 17 years ago and I was desperate to make friends coz like you I do like a good social life. I love playing darts so I asked round the local pubs and got myself into a team. I made so many friends from that and it just blossomed from there. Now I have quite a few friends and a good social life.

Bev x

[nena]

Hi Bev,

Thanks for this. I have had to do some tough thinking this weekend. I think ultimately, I am unhappy with my life. I have to get over the friends I lost, and move on. I have been toying with the idea of moving abroad, but scared to actually apply for work abroad or contact people who could advise and help.

With a bit more inner strength, I just need to try and move forward and shape my future rather than let it decide my fate. I am glad you have made good friends. I know I can make good friends. The problem is that I feel I have been stabbed in the back by people. I need this to get over it and move on. But you know how depression gives you that tendency to feel sorry for yourself, and have bad days. Today is a day where I have more of that confidence and resilience to start moving forward.

Glad things have worked out for you x