Hey all! I used to be active on this site, but since some things happened in my life last autumn (you can scroll back and read if you are curious) I just feel like my life has gotten increasingly worse.
Since October, I have lost:
1. My husband. Our divorce was finalized in February.
2. My home. We sold our home and I had nowhere to go so I moved 1,000 miles away to live with my parents.
3. My job. Because of the move, but now I am disabled mentally and cannot work.
4. Friends. My friends were "our" friends.
5. My will to go on, at times.
6. My community. I had lived in my town for 12 years and had friends, volunteered, knew many people and was respected.
I am living in a place that is very anti-LGBT, very remote and isolated small town. I am with my parents (grateful for that.) But I am so isolated and so alone... I hate it here, I hate what my life has become. Not sure what to do to make it better. I am broke, literally selling things for food and relying on my parents (SNAP benefits are on their way.)
Not sure what to do. I am not at the breaking point of falling into my suicidal ideation... but I am just stuck and fear that I will get to that point.
Written by
SurvivingEveryday
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Hello. I can relate to a lot of the things you have said.
I am also part of the LGBTQIA+ community (I am female), but where I live, it isn't anti-LGBTQIA+. However, I think it is unfair that you have to live in an area that is not LGBTQIA+-friendly. One should be able to live as they want and not be judged for doing so. I am very sorry that you are experiencing this. Unfortunately, there is still judgement against the LGBTQIA+ community.
I left my now ex-husband a while ago (it was a mistake to be with him in the first place), and have had to stay with my mom, also because I had nowhere else to go.
I am currently waiting for a place to open, so I can live on my own. I applied to Section 8, which I don't know if you are familiar with, but I'll briefly explain, because it sounds like you don't want to live where you currently are.
It is gov't housing, but not that bad. It takes quite awhile to get into a place, but I am telling you about this, because you said you are going to be getting SNAP and had nowhere else to go beside your parents place. Also, if you are mentally disabled and can't work, section 8 (and Medicaid, too), can be of great help.
I have also lost friends when I left my ex. Now, I am alone with no one to talk to, other than one friend. I do not talk to anyone else (beside neighbors every now and then). I am lonely, too, and especially because I don't have anyone to share my life with. Actually, I had been okay with that, but am finding it is becoming too lonely by myself.
I also have a mental disorder that prevents me from working, and as you, I receive SNAP.
I don't have much advice to give, but I wanted to let you know, that you are not alone in your struggles.
Just keep looking up and don't GIVE up. Good things are on their way, my friend.
Hi! I sent you a message through chat. I don't know if you got it. I haven't heard anything back from your last message, and I just wanted you to know that I got it. If you read this, you can message me again and we'll see if it goes through. Just didn't want to leave you hanging. Write when you can 🙂
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I feel like I'm going crazy from weird feelings and feelings of fear and craziness!
I'm stuck in an infinite circle
Head feeling heavy and funny anxiety why don’t you go away 
Feels like I’ve got something stuck at the back of my throat 
Feel like I'm going to die, heart or breathing stopping
