I can relate to this situation on so many different levels, I had my first bout of anxiety in 1997 when I found out that someone had used my personal details in a big mortgage fraud. The following year it happened again. I was only 19 and 20 ant the time. We are both the same age. From then on, anxiety detached me from others, I have always been a private person, but I felt and still feel very isolated in the fact that I perceive myself as being different.
I am going through another serious bout of anxiety, it has been coming on since January of this year, I have been burring my head in the sand and hoping it would go away but it just worsened. Last year, I went through another situation were I thought someone was my friend and she just turned out to be a scamming bitch! Basically, she ripped me off and got me arrested and I was in court. This was another period last year that I had heightened anxiety and by that time I went to the GP and was referred to a mental health worker. I was then diagnosed with GAD Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I had previously been taking Citalopram and now was also prescribed Pregabalin. I must admit. I stopped taking the Citalopram and just carried on with the Pregabalin. January - Early May 2013 is when I stopped the meds. I noticed a few side-affect but thought I was dealing with them. I started taking the Citapram again along-side the other meds and this is how I believe I ended up how I am right now.
Recently I have felt suicidal. My main problem is if I do not get any sleep then my current symptoms are off the scale. Feel like I am going off my head. Today I have been trying to look for answers on the net and came across this site and your story.
Basically to summarise. I feel like a no waster. I know how it came about this time as I was dealing with coming of the Citalopram and I have been doing my house up and have loads of un finished jobs. I was thinking of them constantly and planning to do them and nothing was changing. I also have so much family stress where they are all back stabbers. I have no support from my family What-So-Ever. I talk top my mum. She is a different generation and does not understand. I grew up in a family where I was constantly tormented and picked on by my So-Called older brother. He is a nasty piece of work!
I now know I am going to have to use this bout of illness as a turning point in my life as it will break my to a point of no return.
I hope you can reflect on this. I welcome any support from others.
Thank you.
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Helpmebirmingham
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and welcome to the site - lots of support on here! I'm wondering - you say you're on medication and were referred to a MH worker - are you having any counselling, i wonder? If not, I would strongly suggest you go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a counsellor/therapist. It sounds to me as if you have a lot of "stuff" to get out, and talking to a trained therapist might help you there?
In the meantime, keep blogging, lots of support and understanding on here, hun!
Many thanks for your kind support it means a lot. I have not been offered counselling. I have an appointment on the 30th with the MH worker. I am going to put my situation forward and ask for CBT x
hi helpme, your blog was full of very heavy stuff which you need to talk to a professional about, counselling would be good to get it off your chest, please stay with this site there is a lot of companionship and they will listen and probably be able to give you very good advice on any problems you have. do take care. xx
Rose has given some great advice so I haven't much else to add other than my own experience. I have struggled with anxiety/depression most of my life and there is so much more understanding of it now and some really good therapies available. Ive just been through months of hell so i know Its a horrible place to be but with help you can get better. Lack of sleep doesn't help and makes everything seem overwhelming. Keep blogging as there are lots of people on here who understand take care love eve x
When I have no sleep as I said. 'I can not cope at all' I am so determined to get better. It has consumed so much of my life already. I wanted to post my issues as it may help others and we all can support each other. x
I'm new to this but felt the urge to comment on your situation. I also agree with all that has been said so far.
You are not alone with the feelings of isolation. I feel that way an awful lot. It's not always that you are actually alone but it is a feeling of not being understood. All I can say here is never lose faith in people. It sounds like you have had some bad experiences but there are some amazing people out there.
I've had a number of things happen in my life over the past 10 years that have meant that I have had an almost constant struggle with depression and anxiety. Anxiety seems to have become my biggest problem now. But during all that time I have always managed to remain open to connections with people going through the same thing. It is amazing how much it can help. I remember me and a good colleague at work revealing to each other that we were on citalopram. We decided to call them 'happy pills' which always brings a smile to our faces now.
I noticed in your post that you are doing up your place? Sounds great!! I feel your pain when you say there are many unfinished tasks around. It is really hard but this could be a great area of focus for you. I find when I am successful in getting absorbed into something the feelings of anxiety go away.
I bought a great book a number of years ago called 'High Energy Habits'. The premise of the book was that you can increase your energy by changing habits. One of the chapters is entitled 'Clear the clutter'. It is hard but have a go at just picking one unfinished task and devote yourself to completing it. In my experience it always feels great afterwards and it takes one thing out of your subconscious 'to do' list.
Finally, one little habit I have successfully adopted in recent years is telling myself 'well done'. For instance ( and I told my fiancee about this the other morning and she was impressed ) when i get out for a run I always tell myself 'well done' when I get back. No matter how short the run is.
Finish a task, shorten that 'to do' list and then tell yourself 'WELL DONE'
Thank you for your support. One of my main things in life is that I do not get any support from anyone really. It is horrible when your alone and need assistance and you have no one to call on. I was in the middle of tiling a few weeks back when I got struck down by this bout of anxiety.
So that is another job laying in wait. I am trying so hard.
If only I had a real-life motivational friend. That would make all the difference to my illness.
Thanks so much.
Hi helpme.
I'm also new to this site, very sorry to hear of your suffering. i just take one day at a time . its very tough and a terrible illness.
Myself i have suffered for years. think it all started being in a terrible violent abusive relationship, never been the same since. Out of that now thank god!
I suffer from depression, anxiety and get panic attacks, been on various medications but cant deal with the side effects. At my worst i cant leave the house or even my bed. cant wash or do anything, Best advice i would say is to accept what we have, and know that the dark cloud will lift and when it does you'll be feeling pretty much like your normal self. keep active. stay positive. i exercise till i cant do no more. take long walks. look after yourself most of all.
Its sad your family are not supportive, my mum however when i call her get bombarded with way too many questions, and often wished id never called.
Offloading on here is helpful. Keep your chin up. Wishing you happiness. x
jj I consider anxiety A FEAR I am 80 and have had anxiety all my life ?but I have worked atit is now , it is no now on it AND now I am free of it . now it no more than a big joke . my li is now wounderfulget rid of it any one can learn to . no more pains in cheast . I have stoped the FEAR JJ
Anxiety is a fear, unfortunately, us sufferers can not control our fears and it stems from one thing to another and get out of control. As Rose said, I need some professional counselling to get a grip on it and then progress from there.
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I'm wondering - you say you're on medication and were referred to a MH worker - are you having any counselling, i wonder? If not, I would strongly suggest you go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a counsellor/therapist. It sounds to me as if you have a lot of "stuff" to get out, and talking to a trained therapist might help you there? 
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