other people moving on with their lives getting me down.

[Makaluu]

i have a good friend that i'd do outdoor pursuits with. he is taking a job and moving on soon. it has been depressing me over the past few days that he can get on with his life and is living to the full where i feel trapped by anxiety. i'm finding it very hard not to compare my life with his.

[crombie88]

I know anxiety is a horrible thing to live with. I have lived with it for nearly a year now, however always been a worrier and stresser. I know its hard to see other people getting on with there life when you feel somewhat trapped with anxiety, however everyone is different. You should try and make goals for yourself on what you want to do with your life, mayb starting off small. I find that when i am distracted i don't even have anxiety because i am not thinking of it....if that makes sense??

[loubie25]

I know what you mean, I am very much the same that way, I always compare other peoples lives to my own, and feel really low and depressed when i see what other people are out doing and achieving and I just can not see myself getting out of this little black bubble of anxiety I seem to be stuck in. I know it must be really hard for you, having someone you are really close with moving away, but try and realise this is not necessarily the end of your friendship, you can keep in touch and maybe even go and visit him occasionally if its possible. I hope you don't feel down for too long and you can try to see a light at the end of the tunnel.xx

[Makaluu]

thanks folks. yeah it's hard because it's not easy making new friends when you're a bit older, and you look and think 'why is everything working out so perfectly for some people'. it sounds like jelousy or envy but it's really only a natural reaction i think, and some like myself would have a tendency to overthink these things! i think i need something of my own to concentrate on as mentioned and i'll make an effort to stay in touch and hopefully visit my friend.

[crombie88]

life aint easy is it!? but you have to think of all the good things. Hope your ok.

[Makaluu]

thanks it certainly isn't ha! hindsight is wonderful. all that advice you get given when young and it gets ignored. i'm now finding out why they said it. i'll definitely be doing my mindfulness later and will get out for a walk or something and try make some goals.

[nena]

Yep this is how I feel at the moment. I spoke to my ex over the weekend, and its nice to know that he keeps in touch with my old friends. They all seem to be getting on with their lives, going out, and being happy. We fell out as one of the guys owes me money, but is refusing to give it back. This really hurts.

Despite the fact that I feel I have been wronged, they seem to ignore my feelings and just tell me to get over it. It has really had an impact on my anxiety - it was a month's rent deposit, and seeing as he also asked me to leave the flat within a week I feel as though I am screaming inside a glass box and nobody is noticing. I had to find a flat, have no money to go out, and no confidence.

As harsh as the reality is, I guess this is the way the game has played out. And I can only move forward.

[Makaluu]

not sure if anyone uses it, but try this

moodscope.com

good to record and look back seeing there will be ups and downs. i just looked back a few months and there were some low points, and i can't even remember what the low point was which is great. tells me this will pass.

[hannah_smith]

Hi Pestaa, I am sorry to hear your friend is moving away, but you will still stay in touch and ironically enough i talk more to my friends that aren’t living near me, i make more of an effort to stay intouch with them! I suffered with anxiety since i was 15 years old, I’m now 32 and it has been one hell of a ride. My life was on hold for years. my friends would move on with careers, love life, family, etc and I would be the joker of the pack making out I was happy being the one out of our group that didn’t want to mature, settle down, get a job that would tie me down, etc. Deep down all i wanted was normality!! I couldn’t sleep, had every illness going, my friends all started to have children, etc and I started to hit rock bottom, I was now having black outs due to not sleeping, feeling everyday my illnesses where getting worse. I finally blacked out at work and passed out in the toilet. I woke up with an ambulance man standing over me. That was the final straw for me, I couldn’t keep hiding it from people, I had to talk about what i was feeling and stop masking my anxiety! Masking my feelings was what was making me ill - I discovered ARM, (Anxiety Rebalance Method), Carl Sheppard. I am now an ARM buddy and help people like you who are struggling with anxiety. Please check out ARM and tell me what you think. I hope it helps and shines some light on you at this troubling time.

[Makaluu]

thanks hannah. i'll check that out tonight. always open to these kind of things.

i have opened up a little about mine but maybe not as much as i should. my friend thats moving is one of the people i was considering telling because we do outdoor things together, some of which cause me anxiety (indeed i had a panic attack right under his nose in the mountains one day!) now he's going i may not get the chance, but we will be meeting up again, that's been agreed

my story is similar, through my 20s and 30s had few girlfriends, no kids, living with my parents for years, all the while hiding the anxiety. turned point was a job I got that forced me to do things i would never have done and it has been great for me. i'm still struggling but i've come a long way. i think the next step is opening up more to people around me and hoping they don't come out with the usual, 'he's mad' or 'big cry baby, get over it'.