Other People's Anger

Does anyone else have to deal with people directing their anger at you because they cannot cope with your anxiety when it is bad?

I seem to spend my life either apologising for my anxiety or facing the brunt of people who are angry at me because I am not coping or struggling which ironically makes my anxiety much worse.

I do not understand why we live in a society that tolerates this sort of behaviour towards an illness.

I am a good person, not a bad person, why must I go through life facing this just because I am ill?

It makes me hate people so much sometimes and the world to me feels like a cruel and vicious place, I am starting to turn from a sensitive caring guy into someone who feels like I must look after number 1 to survive because of this hostility.

I do not want to be that person but I must also survive.

If I was physically ill this behaviour would never be acceptable but because it is a mental illness people can use the excuse that they don't understand or that they are frustrated.

Why does there inability to have empathy or ignorance make this acceptable?

Any thoughts on this would be good.

Anyone else have these problems?

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12 Replies

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  • Who is it who gets angry.

  • Everyone I've ever met :-(

  • Hi, only people that actually have anxiety or panic attacks can appreciate how hard it is living everyday with it. Others think that maybe we're too sensitive or weak, meanwhile we are the stronger ones going through life with this extra burden. Like Dr Claire Weekes said "we are more human than neurotic." My friends are more sympathetic than my own sister is and it bothers me to know that!

  • Yes this is a very good point, I would agree, anxiety people do seem to understand each more, I guess when you have been there you get it, what I do not understand is why others have no ability to step into your shoes? I do that constantly with others.

  • Cause I guess they don't know what we're going through and don't know how to help. All I want to know is that the people in my life truly care about me and can support me even by a certain look they can give if you know what I mean?!

  • Yeah I guess so, I just find it utterly bizarre how people who are ill also have to put up with others hostility simply because they have an inability to have empathy, what physical illness would this be tolerated with?

  • People that are hostile have their own problems so don't take it personally. They're probably frustrated and unhappy in their own lives most likely. There are a lot of beautiful souls out there too!

  • Yes that is very true, I guess we need to focus as much as possible on those who do not act that way :)

  • Yes that is true, is hard when you are around them or reliant on them though :-(

  • I speak as the spouse of a person with very severe anxiety. It can be incredibly frustrating when my husband cannot leave work on time because of his anxiety, when he leaves me alone with our young children for long periods of time, when he cannot perform simple tasks to help me out with domestic responsibilities. I know that his illness is real and debilitating. I know that he is a good man and that he loves me deeply. I love him just as much, which is why I stuck with him when it got really bad a couple of years ago. But I still get angry with him, and with other relatives and friends that have anxiety. I can see what wonderful people they are, and yet they refuse to accept it.

    Try and see if from our perspective: we cannot help you, if you cannot help yourself. It is the ultimate conundrum. Most likely, the anger you receive is born of frustration. If you feel that it is unjustified, then step away from the person or people that display such behaviour. You do not need them in your life. And yes, you must look after no.1. Take care of yourself before you take care of others. You need strength to do everything.

  • I can understand your point and it's really good that you stuck with him as those who are ill need that.

    I think it may help society if mental and physical health issues were viewed on the same level, don't you think?

  • Yes, I do agree that it is time we accept mental health issues as valid. Perhaps then we could regain some balance in society, and release a little of the pressure on the NHS - preventative measures and all that.

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