Back to work and dreading it :( :(

[Rachy17]

Ive been off work since end of october. Now I have the task of going back on monday and Im petrified. My anxiety is going to go through the roof sunday, its up and down at the moment. Im anxious that I dont belong there anymore or will fit in. I'm soooooo scared...

[Hidden]

Hi

I have not been where you are at the moment , but suffering with anxiety as you do I can only imagine how you feel

I think though people will be thrilled to see you back , & welcome you

I no others on here have though & hope when they see your blog , they can give better advice on this

I believe it wont be as bad as you think

Please let us no how it goes , I will look out for your blog

Good luck

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Rachy17]

thanks whywhy. I will let you know how it goes. Im just so worried, probably for nothing, But Im also very self conscious as havent really been out very much over the past 6 months, im so paranoid about the way i look. My uniforms arent going to fit properly. It sounds silly but its a big thing for me and its making me feel worse, Just wish i didnt have to go back really

xx

[Hidden in reply to Rachy17]

Nothing you have said sounds silly to me

Even though I have not been in your situation , I can still relate

Do you have your uniform to try on at home ?

If for some strange reason it doesn't fit , they will sort you another

We do seem to have irrational thoughts when our anxiety starts , they seem real I no , but most are irrational

Say you have to do this a day at a time , if you really cant cope you will deal with it when & if it happens

Just try to stay in the day

Look forward to hearing how it goes

xxx

[Jayce1000 in reply to Rachy17]

It's all in our head and it's part of the anxiety which is normal it's a paranoid feeling tryst me I know people can't see how you feel on the inside which I don't know is good or bad

[Rachy17]

ive tried one on as have them at home. Its a biit tight. Am sooooo anxious about it. Sorry just so worried xx

[Hidden in reply to Rachy17]

Can you let it out a little ?

I am sure when you are working , you will soon drop a pound or 2 & it will be fine by the end of the week , if not they will have to change it for you

What do you do , if you don't mind me asking

Don't be sorry , this is a big step , you are going to feel worried , I hope once you get the first day behind you , you worries will fade

xxx

[Hidden]

Hi rachy

I've been off work since sept and am due to be phased back soon. I can imagine how anxious you are. The build up will be worse than your actual first day. If you had an operation you would need time to recover and this is no different. Hold your head high as you travel to work and be proud that you have got yourself to a point where you can return to work. Try not to think of Monday as a negative overwhelming day but a brand new start. You can do this hun love eve x

[Rachy17]

whywhy, I work as a rehabilitation assistant. Mainly with the elderly. Its a stressful job, i just feel i cant do it anymore. Ive got no choice but to go back. But theres loads of underlying factors as to why im worried about it. And being so anxious its driving me mad. My body feels so tense. Its horrible. When i get incredibly anxious my legs tremble i can just imagine what it'll be like monday. Im only going for 4 hours. Im terrified xx

[Rachy17]

Eve, I wish i could think of it as a new start. Its so hard having to go back. I dont know if i can do it. I dont think im wanted there anyway and im so scared im going to go off again with the same problem. When i saw the occ health dr his letter said i come under the aegis of the disability provisions of the equality act 2010. I have been diagnosed with GAD, depression. So they know my situation. Im just worried theyll of had enough of me.

I dread waking up everyday and monday im going to be a wreck. xx

[Hidden in reply to Rachy17]

Oh hun I feel for you so much I really do. Everytime my sick note runs out Im in a right state at the thought of going back to work and like you I have to go back which is more pressure. You have as much right to be there as everyone else and you didnt ask for or deserve to have gad, depression. It's an illness like any other and employers have to make adjustments and you don't have to feel bad for taking time off. i know this isn't easy but try to keep an open mind for Monday and don't let one person bring you down (if he/she had to walk a day in your shoes they would be slinging them straight back at the end of the day) big massive hugs hun i will be thinking about you xx

[Hidden]

If it is any help to you some years ago I used to work for the Civil Service.My Mum

was ill and I had some kind of breakdown.I got clinical depression and was off work for 6 months.I did not want to go back to work but after 6 months they put you on half pay and so I had to.As the day to return approached I got more and more scared and nearly had another breakdown.Any way when I got back I got the usual jokes about "who's the new girl"

and "have you been away we hadn't noticed" By lunchtime everything was great and I felt like I hadn't been away at all.Most people are understanding and I am sure you'll be fine.

So good luck.xx

[Rachy17]

thankyou olddux, i hope your right. Theres one person im really bothered about seeing, im hoping shes not there when i go back. Dreading it but thankyou everyone i do appreciate your comments xx

[LizM40]

Rachy17, Give yourself a chance.. I am sure it is not as bad as you may think it is. Try and sort out your uniform the first thing to do when you get there. Say that you have not worn it for a while and may you have an alternative one? - as you will feel more comfortable in it. Ease yourself back in at your own pace.. you need to make yourself quite clear at the start that you have not been well and will your employers give you a chance? - After a day or two, it probably seemed that you have never been away. Best of Luck. LizM40

[Rachy17]

im trying so hard Liz. Anxiety wins everytime

[Rachy17]

thankyou Eve that means a great deal to me. Just wish i wasnt like this xx

[Rachy17]

... im worried about seeing her, because shes had a pop at me before, a few occasions and given me the third degree about being off sick. that ill never get another job with my sickness. Blah blah. She'll be in her element when i go back. Just want to punch her. Sorry im not a violent person but shes just not a nice person in my eyes. She made me feel like crap. Dreading it Eve xx

[seyi]

Hi Rachy

I can really understand when you say your petrified and i can feel your emotions. If its any consolation i was phased back into work for a few hours a day did a week and all was going fine. Monday attended work then Tuesday my dear anxiety friend plagued me sending me into a real state. I went back to the Doctors today and now being phased in mon/wed/fri for a few hours to see how this goes. perhaps i was not ready for a full week.

As for the bully in work how nasty can someone be she has no right to give you the third degree about being off sick and regarding getting another job etc. Laughing at a punch because i would want to do the same.

Some people who vent nasty comments should walk in our shoes for the week see how they would feel.

Rachy i sincerely wish you the best of luck for Monday and keep in mind many people here will be doing the same.

Let us know how it goes perhaps we can exchange our experiences.

Hugs

Love Seyi xxx

[Rachy17]

Thankyou Seyi, that means alot. I appreciate everyones comments. Im trying to relax at the moment, its hard but dont want to go to sleep. Because i dont want monday to come.

The occ health dr said to go back phased return,working half days and building up to working full time by mid june. Ive got to use annual leave up aswell, my manager said when i spoke to her. Ive done that before. My own dr has said phased return aswell. I dont know if that means a few days a week like you to begin with. Dont think so. i dont know how much i can deal with at the moment. xx

[seyi in reply to Rachy17]

Hi Rachy

Your welcome any assistance and help i can give you would be a pleasure. I was petrified of returning to work and have gone in Mon/Wed/Fri afternoons although i have tried getting in around 11ish.

I was phased in previously but found it difficult to cope with so went back to the Doctor and now phasing in again.

I am off next week half term so thats a setback. But the following week will try and do one full day and the other two half days.

I will not lie and say it was easy but i coped and took myself out of the setting if i felt uneasy, but it is as if i was never away. People will understand how you are feeling and hopefully support you.

Just cope with one day at a time not planning anything in advance this will help.

Please keep in touch and let me know how it goes.

I will you luck

take care

Love Seyi xxx

You can do this big hugs xxxx

[Rachy17]

Seyi do you mind me asking what job you do? xx

[seyi in reply to Rachy17]

I work in a school working as a TA but also deal with children with emotional/difficult behaviour issues.

[Rachy17]

Mondays getting nearer and Im soooooo anxious. Had to take a diazepam this morning. I dont know if I can go, am so scared

[Rachy17]

REALLY worried about tomorrow, dont want to go back so scared

[Restokley]

Same here. I'm scared and depressed about it. I am not ready to return to working again but I have no income id I don't. If only my disability (anxiety and depression)would come through soon, it would be heaven sent.

[Dycie555]

I've been off work for 8 months and I've used countless excuses to family but I am terrified of being in the work place again. My anxiety is extreme when it comes to going back to work, I know I have to do it but I'm trying to get my license so I just feel like one stressful thing at a time is all I can manage. Advice please! I always seem so confident on the outside but really I'm panicking even having normal conversations with checkout people and even phone calls. So hard because my partner is frustrated even though I always pay my own way.