Coping with my husbands anxiety and how can I help I'm ?

[Rita68]

Hello all . My husband I think had a mini break down or something like that . He was always a bit of a worrier but last Xmas it started with his brother dying unexpectedly at a relatively young age from a heart attack this caused my hubby so much upset that he nearly had a heart attack himself and after tests it turned out that that he had a blocked artery and was given an angioplasty procedure after which he wasn't well as he had allergic reaction o some of the meds used in the prefecture but the actual op was a success . However ever since he has been suffering from anxiety . At first we didn't know what it was he was weak shaky night sweats not eating always getting these rushes as he calls them tingling etc he was so bad one day that I called an ambulance an they took him to hospital but phisically there was nothing wrong and that's when it was said it must be anxiety . I never imagined how unwell this can. Make a person and feel really helpless as to how to help him over come this . He is on lorazepam 1mg at the moment which helps but as its addictive his gp wants him off that which of course is causing more anxiety and she has given him certaline which is meant to be anxiety/ antidepressant but doesn't seem to do much . I just don't know what to do now or where turn ne for help and would greatly appreciate any advice anyone has or any experience they want to share. Thank you and have a good day all.

[Hidden]

Hi

I suffer with health anxiety , it could be after your hubby lost his brother & then having an experience his self ., it has triggered of anxiety

Have you asked him to look at this site ? as well as women there are also men on here that suffer , he might find it a help , to see he is not on his own

It can take time for meds to work & when coming of one & going on another , it is common people feel worse before they feel better

If you really think they are not helping , suggest he goes back & tells them , you maybe could go with him , some have to try several different meds before they get the right one , but like I said these kind of meds do take several weeks to work

Also you could speak to your hubby about counselling , if he thought it could help , tell the GP this is a route you would like to go down , if he does

There is no magic cure for anxiety (so wish there was ) it can be a slow road , taking small steps , but things do get better

Listen when he wants you to , & give him space when he needs it

Welcome to the site & anytime you want to chat people are here to listen

Hope hubby might take a look as well

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Rita68]

Thank you so much for your kind words .i do go to the Gp with him and he has been referred to counselling but waiting list 6 weeks or more . It's hard to see your loved one being so different to how he used to be and I know there is no magic cure but a time and patience thing .i think what's been so frustrating is that the after care from the procedure is so little and it took so long to recognise that what he is suffering from is actually anxiety and some people including in the medical profession look at you as if you were just being dramatic and over reacting when in fact we both know its not the case. Abroad they often send patients away to a rehab spa type thing where there are doctors and counsellers and its a 2 week programme I'm really wondering if that might help him . Anyhow sorry to go on so long . I will show him this site and thank you again and hope that you feel alight too x

[Hidden in reply to Rita68]

Hi Rita

I no we are all in the same boat here with this waiting game , me to , I am waiting to see a phycologist & been told its up to a year waiting list

I also understand about the frustration , & you are not been dramatic at all & having been on here I hope it reassures you

I have been married 20 years & my hubby has lived with me been like this , just lately it getting worse

I don't no how he manages but he seems to , I no he seems to have found a way , he listens when I need him to & also he gives me space when I need it

I believe anything is worth a try , we certainly will not be any worse of trying something , I have never heard of the 2 week programme , but it sounds very interesting , I would look into it , don't think we have anything like that where I am from , but from what you are saying , it is worth a look at

You will have to let us no more , if you decided to take that road & if it worked

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Rita,

I'm male and suffering too, I just asked my wife, and she said, don't over crowd them, and make sure you pamper yourself as it can be exhausting too caring for another.

I would also say, try to be totally calm, and reasure them, so they can see where they want to go back to. When panicking we loose all sense of normality, because our minds are in fight or flight mode and cant think straight at that time.

Don't over pamper, make them get their own cup of tea if they are ok, if there panicking, thens the right time to help with whatever they need. A cold flannel can sometimes help on the forehead, and other times a hot water bottle to cuddle, it depends.

Knowing you will be there whatever happens, will help enormously in the recovery too. You will reap the rewards when they are better, as they will love you for ever

I would of thought some councilling/therapy should be on the cards to, so he can fully understand whats going on, and how to deal with the panics. The rebad centres are available privately around the country, my friends cost about £4000 per week and took 26 weeks, so unless your very well off, I would allow the NHS to help.

Councillors and therapists privately are around £40 hr.

Gentle exercise has enormous benefits, yoga definately, as he will get a lot of tension mainly in the neck area and headaches there too. Walking is my favourite, I have a damaged lower and neck spine, but this helps with core strength.

I wii fit are great for home exercise and the family can join in and make it fun as well.

Hope some of that helps to start with, now for the writing lol, not my forty, but i'll give it a go.

Wishing you both well.

I would ask your doctor about bereavement councilling initially as that seem to be where it started.

Not sure of his childhood, but much stems from there too, councilling can help and if its deep seated, EMDR is very good.

CBT is good aswell, there are many therapies available most on the NHS too.

If he is worried about different symptoms, we can help put his mind at rest a little as most of us, understand them and why they happen.

Let you hubby know it does get better, with a bit of practice.

Please feel free to ask any questions your worried about, we have so much knowledge on here, I'm sure one of us can help.

Wishing you both well

B

xxxx

[Hidden]

Hello Rita,

I am 67 and am recovering from angioplasty after having had a heart attack a few weeks ago. My wife also 67 is my carer and my life.She offers me support 24/7 and tries to egg me on to get more exercise etc.

I cannot improve on baylien's comments.He has said it all and I greatly admire him.He has helped me several times.

Just stay with us have a blog from time to time and you will find lots of help and support.

All the best Grog

[seyi]

Hello Rita

Sometimes it can be harder for the carer because everything fall's on their shoulders and i can sympathize as it must be draining on you also.

Firstly people react differently to death and it sounds awful that your husband has experienced some health issues relating to the heart. Obviously this has sent his anxiety level high as it's human nature to worry and think something awful is going to happen to yourself.

Perhaps going to see a therapist and a bereavement counselor may also help to come to terms with his brothers passing.

This is the hardest to cope with when you lose someone i always say we prepare for a birth a marriage but no one ever prepares us for the loss of someone.

Also maybe he should talk to the Doctor about his medication if it is not working for him.

but like whywhy said can take several weeks before you actually start to feel better.

All you can do is support him listen and be understanding although its difficult when you cannot feel the pain the frustration and anger.

My husband is very supportive but at times i feel guilty as there are only limited things and places i can go.

Please God he makes a recovery soon.

And bless you for the support your love one needs.

We are all here to listen so keep blogging.

Good Luck

Big hugs

Love Seyi xxx