Why me?

Help! Absolutely sick of having these panick attacks now literally having one 24 hours of the day for example my mam was late in picking me up the other day I completely broke down and automatically thought she had died in a car crash and started to cry in public i feel like every thing is worse than it is like if I have a spot I think it's a lump and cancer I'm constantly finding something to worry about an having panick attacks about having a panick attack if that makes sense I just feel like I'm not in my own mind and in just watching all this happen its so frustrating no matter what the docter says I feel like he's wrong and that I'm a mental case I've left my job and everything just carnt seem to see a light at the end of the tunnel any help would be excellent as its getting boring now :( !!

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  • Hi Sj

    Sorry you are having such a bad time. You are not alone! Sometimes things just seem to snowball until we feel completely out of control and hopeless. I know it's difficult but try to focus on the good things you have, whether it's family, friends etc. Do you have much support with your problems from a partner or family member? It's hard to get past but you need to believe your doctor - anxiety can do horrendous things and make us feel so ill that it's difficult to believe that all these symptoms and pains and horrible feelings can simply be down to us being overwhelmed and anxious. But I think that once you start to realise these are all indicators that you've taken too much on or need to make changes in your life then it'll make it easier for you to take steps to improving your mental state and tackling your anxiety. I totally know how you feel about having panic attacks for fear of having a panic attack! Vicious circle! Keep posting on here there are lots of lovely people who understand what you're going through and can help you xx

  • Thank you even that's just took a little weight off my shoulders it makes me so angry like if I'm sitting and my phone rings I'll just be horrible to everyone coz I was shocked of the noise I'm trying to laugh about it and make light of the situation it's weird coz I know what's wrong with me and what I need to do to fix it I just carnt actually do it if that's makes sense but thanks a lot for your support its nice to know that people understand me and that I'm not a fruit loop haha thank you xxx

  • Haha no you are not a fruit loop :) No more than the rest of us anyway ;)

    I forgot to ask if you are having any counselling/on any meds or anything at help you at all? As when your anxiety is so heightened it is really difficult to bring yourself down. I personally swear by exercise - I love running and martial arts, both are also good for getting a bit of anger and frustration out too! And usually I'm too tired to feel anxious after I've had a good run or session with a punchbag!

    Hope you feel better soon xx

  • I understand exactly how you feel, I have really bad social anxiety and general anxiety aswel, and my dad passed away in his sleep as his heart just stopped working, and ever since then I now think everyone around me is going to die and I just sometimes think that my mum might be dead for no reason and start to cry about it. Or for some reason when my bf goes out in the car I, like you, think he may have had a car crash and died, so I text him and until he texts back am worried he is dead. And a while ago i was having heart palpitation for a while and i just kept thinking i was going to have a heart attack and die. it sounds nuts, I know. I know I should see someone about it too but am really nervous about actually doing it. I just want you to know you are not alone with this, and it does help a little knowing that you can talk to people on here about it.

  • It's awfull isn't it a just wish there was a huge needle or something that could get rid if it a carnt wait just to get back to normal again and get me life back on track it's no good but am sure we'll all be fine hopefully haha xx

  • Hi Sjbarthram36 just wanted to say when reading your blog you sounded exactly the same as me about 14 months ago everything you said was the same as how i was feeling. Sounds like you are getting frustrated with yourself too, try not to put anymore added stress onto yourself as this will only make you feel worse. I know it can be easier said then done you kinda feel upset, scared and emotional and then when you speak to someone about it like i used to do i just thought that they were getting sick of me and that i should sort myself out and stop being pathetic! I tried CBT which didn't work for me as like you i was pretty much panicking 24/7 so couldn't calm myself down long enough to try and work through the techniques. So i had some councelling that worked wonders, some thimes i'd talk to her and vent out all my frustrations, some times i;d sit and cry for nearly an hour lol! but it felt good and she was sincere and i didn't feel like i was putting on her like it did with my friends family etc. i also started taking Citalopram which was great as at first it just took the edge off the panic (which was great as its easier to try and rationalise your feelings then), i don't like taking medication and never have but i was at the point where i would of tried anything. They have helped alot too. Just want you to know that there is help out there and i felt exactly the same a you thinking i was crazy but now the panic attacks have gone (touch wood) i still feel the odd sudden urge of anxiety but i can work through this now and stop it turning to panic. I generally have 2 bad days out of 7 now (i feel worse when its that time of the month too like quite e few women) and when i say bad i just feel low and lathargic and a bit teary but i guess i'm still a work in progress. Keep blogging and let us know how your getting on, your not on your own xxx

  • What's then tablets your taking do you get them from the doctor? They've gave me propanalol or something but I won't take them coz it says on the box do not take if you have ahstma which I have so that's made is panick thinking I'm going to have a heart attack or something if I take one so I've bought "rescue" sweets from holland and Barrets and I'm not really sure if there working I wish they would tho, as soon as I'm bored or not doing anything I just panick and have an attack its so difficult to concentrate and yeah I am really angry with myself like I start a new job today at 5:00 something's telling me I'm gonna panick and mess the whole thing up as soon as I get there. I just wish I could chill out and get back to normal roll on seeing the councler even tho I'm on a 16 week waiting list, I'm pleased your getting better and thanks for your advice xxx

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