Hi guys apart from my shot post last night I've been away for a few days. No reason other than I felt I need some time to think.
Although I wasn't feeling great and was mr stress head I was coping. Until last night that was. I had an ok day, but once I got home all the usual thoughts started and all evening I felt really claustrophobic and uneasy. Sent myself to bed early just to relax, but from there things got worse as I said last night my emotions were on overdrive. Ended up texting my ex which I regretted the second I pressed the send button. Why am I finding it so hard to let go.
To say last night sleep was erratic would be an understatement. So when it actually got to morning and I had to be awake I didn't want to move. Got my ass out of bed anyway and off to work I go.
I seem to have a good few days were I cope with most stuff and can manage. Over those coping days I have a slow build up of emotion and it all seems to come at me in one wave which I'd very overwhelming. I then go on to have 2-3 crap days where all I want to do is hide away from the world.
I think the other reason I've been away for a few dad and I'll probably be told off for saying this. Is that I felt I was starting to sound like a broken record and it was getting to me a little bit. The thing is I know that there are worse things to be getting this worked up about and it does my head in that I can't get passed this. It would be easier if I could just hate my ex at least I could get over that and wouldn't be dealing with the constant need to want to speak to her.
To top things off this morning my bus didn't turn up so I'm now running late for work.
Just hope I can get myself out of this mood for the weekend as I meant to be out with some friends and family for a bday meal.
Hope everyone has had a positive week.