Elephant Living on My Chest!

[B3ach-g1rl]

I'm living with GAD. The feel of immense anxiety, a weight of the earth on me and tension in my body consumes me. I have a stressful job as an elementary school Secretary. I love the work, but it is nonstop all day with added stress caused by constant interruptions, doorbells ringing and people constantly needing things from me and never being able to complete tasks without having to switch gears multiple times in between everything I do! Having GAD for me means that I dread even things I know I will enjoy, like seeing my 7 yr old and 5 yr. old granddaughters. I feel pressure on myself about everything! I'm afraid I can't come up with things to play with the girls, which in reality is NEVER a problem. We always have fun, and so I MAKE MYSELF see them, but the dread is so bad it's almost crippling. Going to the gym and jitterbug dance classes bring the same dread until I'm there. I take Lexapro and Buspar, I meditate, and I've recently stopped drinking my evening wine in hopes that somehow these changes will stop the madness within me. I could go on and on, but doing so, like everything else, is escalating the anxiety! Is there a way out of this? I'm so scared of that answer !

[JonW_Swan]

Its like the anxiety is a torrent with no off switch

[B3ach-g1rl in reply to JonW_Swan]

Yes. It's awful!

[Aussietoy]

I understand what you are going through. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for the past 3+ years. Then there is the depression that comes with it! You feel like it’s never going away! I recently have come off of multiple benzodiazepines which I was on with the doctors approval for the last 3 years and going through the withdrawal symptoms is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. Every single morning I wake up with bad anxiety and dread of anything I have to do or think about doing something makes my skin crawl! It’s debilitating to say the least! I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m dying inside It’s taken away all the things I use to love to do!! Nothing I do seems to help!

[B3ach-g1rl]

I agree. It has taken control of my life. It kills me that I have to force myself to do the things I have to get done, but it is the worst thing ever when I have to force myself to be with the two greatest blessings left in my life, my little granddaughters. I don't want to live this way. I often have death wishes. I know it breaks my husband's heart to hear me say that. I sure wish you and I and all those suffering could help one another. 😔

[Light21]

B3ach-g1rl,

Sounds like you are experiencing a lot of anticipatory anxiety. It can be awful. The good thing is that when you actually get to the event, like spending time with your dear granddaughters you enjoy it or when you get to your dance class you enjoy it also.

Maybe your Lexapro and Buspar aren’t working like they should be. Do you maybe need to up the dose? Maybe you need to change medications? I think you should talk to your doctor about how you feel. Do you have a therapist you can talk to?

I’m just trying to think of ways that might help you. I’ve had anticipatory anxiety my whole life and it’s so hard. The things we anticipate happening usually don’t.

Best of luck to you.

😊🙏🙏

[Momsneedhelp]

Overall, when I stopped the drinking I saw an huge difference in my anxiety and how I felt. Also, changing my diet and exercising has helped me improve. Maybe try to talk to your doctor about your medication and see if the dosage can be increased as that might help. Also, try therapy because that has helped to calm me and I can deal with my depression more. It’s not completely gone but I can manage my day to day and be productive.