need someone to hear me out

[Cherryfizz34]

got a therapist for $116/month

Can't tell her half the stuff because for $116 a month it's too much

and a lot of the advice - I've tried that so many times

This blog might change

told her all my problems

most don't want to help unless I have a grasp on stuff

and most stick around because they are learning - free education

This one wasn't speaking - even though in the ad - they are suppose to contact you once a day.

That's a red flag

also she asked for a video call - but either I couldn't afford it or it wasn't a priority so I ignored it.

I didn't keep a lot of the promises I told her I'd do in October

But when she says " I don't agree" And she compares me to my father who I have a ton of issues with. That's a red flag to get out of that relationship.

She doesn't speak - feels like she can't - and I feel like she thinks I'm a danger but can't prove it

luckily a therapist is just a therapist to me when they are giving vanilla advice. It's not so much discarding - I don't really attach - I need someone to vent at - which is not cool for most and someone to write to when I'm being made fun of somewhere publicly - it's to indirectly say I'm holding the person or people who are making fun of me accountable to someone in the mental health industry.

This usually gets them to quiet quickly.

It's liberating that no one needs to hear your business. I don't need to find acceptance in my lifestyle from others. I don't need to prove anything. I sometimes need to correct stuff. But my day is my day. If I do nothing today - I don't need to post it. People don't need to know my business. Sometimes I let it rip. But if I do nothing on Tuesday - no one needs to know and judge me for it. No comparison - no needing to prove I need love or am - I don't need to prove anything. A quiet day to myself - I don't need to do a tic tok video or a instagram video - are they really connecting you to people? No. It's a world through your phone.

Unless you see those same people in real life -

no one needs to hear my day or my lack of life - to tell me to be more - to do more - that what I do during my day isn't okay. I don't need that approval.

I'm delousional with connection with relatives in India - we aren't - it's them and me and my brother - and it's not even me and my brother