Need to take action but Anxiety stopp... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

63,137 members62,095 posts

Need to take action but Anxiety stopping me

RiderontheStorm profile image

I need to take ex girlfriend to small claims court for outstanding loan she promised to pay back years ago. She dragged out payments off and on for years until I pissed her off in one email and she won't honor her remaining $2000 USD debt. I have done all the leg work and paperwork to prove my case. She has threatened me with a single email of a restraining order if I ever try to make contact again. I have not spoken or seen her in 7 years, thus I have not communicated back and went straight to the courthouse to file my case. I have tried to leave it alone forget it and move on but my psyche won't let me. She is a very good story teller and lies often to suit herself to fit her situation. Don't know what I am afraid of other than opening pandoras box to what she might do to retaliate. Anxiety over this imagined what if is becoming a problem and I have to act as time is ticking down to the court date. How do you handle paralyzing anxiety when you need to do something. Feel the fear and do it anyway is easy to say... Thanks.

11 Replies

I’ve had paralyzing anxiety too. The only thing that helped me was praying, taking Lexapro, and having someone on my side to encourage me. Is there someone that can go w you to the court house? Someone who has your back? A good group to join is called Codependents Anonymous.

Hey man, yes I agree a good support system is good even if it’s just one person. $2k is a lot of money if it were me my anger would get me off my bum to go through with it; if it helps I support your decision to go through with it. Stay strong

Yeah stick up for yourself! She sounds like a bully and trying to evade paying back what she owes you by trying to intimidate you. So don't let yourself back down. I think those are excellent ideas finding somebody to give moral support go with you that's a great idea.

Thanks all for your encouragement. Even my former counselor when she heard the whole story said take her to court. The ex often borrowed money and could not keep a job all thru the off and on relationship. I was the steady one. This loan was for her DUI as no one in her family would give her the money. I so regret having anything to do with her. Well, if it were not for bad relationships - we would'nt know what a GOOD relationship feels like I keep telling myself.

Well sounds like you got a great perspective! I hope things work out for you at court.

You can also take out a restraining order or ask the judge to warn her that retaliation is unacceptable and possibly illegal, so if she does something stupid, she's been warned and there is an official record.

If you have done all the work, go for it. Judges can usually see through their BS.

Watch some small court TV shows for inspiration. Then find Caught in Providence on Facebook just for fun.

Thank you all for your support. I will try not to fear what has not occurred and only in my mind. Our focus should be on the positive but the lizard brain we all have always goes to the worst case scenario. I must remind myself, just because I think it, does not make it true. Hope this thought helps someone else. :^)

Get your money!

Did you speak to an attorney about this? There are status of limitations, the judge might throw your case out?

I spoke with an attorney who said I have a case but the stress associated with going forward might not be worth it. Within the statue of limitations. I found the ruling in the law library to quote. *But I found myself on the stairs of the court house and unable to move forward imagining the retaliation of this person and backed away. My Therapist said that was ok to do - since I am prioritizing my stressors and have a stress related heart condition. Walking away would likely be the healthy thing to do in the long run not having months of mounting stress over it.

The moment has arrived to go to have her served for court and the stress level is unbearable thus I have decided in favor of my AFib heart condition to kick this down the road for a few months and have it rescheduled. I am partly beating myself up over this, not righting this wrong quickly as she was so combative and aggressively threatening to me thus my need to NOT back down. But for health reasons and not to give myself a heart attack I am thinking I did the right thing. Just venting here. Biggest regret of my life being involved with this woman.

You may also like...