A boat in a stormy sea - can sink at any time.

[ScaredGR5274]

I live in Bangladesh - a south asian country. We had a small family - my father, mother, elder sister and I. Very introverted since childhood - I didn't mix with anyone. I don't have any close friends either. In 2021, my father died of COVID-19 and at the same time, my sister got married and settled in another country. My mother and I were left alone. I finished my graduation - I am doing a remote job. I feel very alone. I always feel scared - what will I do if something happens to my mother? Recently, I am facing a lot of adversities in my career too. My management wants to fire me. I have applied to a few places but I am not getting any response or seeing any success. Due to being an introvert, I have to be humiliated in any official meeting or family gathering. Sometimes I want to kill myself. I have no one to share my inner storm with. What can I do to increase my confidence or help me be a little better mentally? I can't take it anymore.

[SRKalways]

hey, we are here for you. Stay strong. I also lost my mother in covid and things are not same after that. You are not alone, we are in this together.

[ScaredGR5274 in reply to SRKalways]

Thanks a lot for the kind words.

[Sankissjuice]

I am also alone with my mother, but I'm not able to hold a job. Too disabled with MDD. I have fear of losing my mother too because I'm not functional at the moment. As for you, you're able to function. Just need to increase your social circle, form a few meaningful connections. Living with MDD, also makes me feel lonely and suicidal. I pray sincerely from my heart asking for strength and wisdom. May we be free from suffering, my friend. We are all brothers and sisters in this world.

[ScaredGR5274 in reply to Sankissjuice]

Many prayers for you and your mother. Hope you get over your tough times soon.

[b1b1b1]

Welcome to this group. The people here are very supportive and understanding. You have had some major losses and it is understandable that you now worry about your Mother as she is the remaining person you are close to. Try to keep in mind that it is very good that you do have her. Confidence comes slowly and is difficult for many here. If you would like to say, write more about your work. Do you have any hobbies or other interests? xx

[ScaredGR5274 in reply to b1b1b1]

Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I love reading books, watching movies and exercise. But most of the time doing these things can't reduce my anxiety.