Withdraw from meds part 2

[No_Longer_Human]

I feel really nauseous with this stupid new medication update. For a few bucks, im vomiting again and idk if i will even get them. Why do every time im close to getting money, they make me nauseous? It's so hard. I'm trying to adjust and lessen my medications against my will (i can't work and mom said i either work or get a disability status and for disability status i have to go through this shitty hospital and they want to stop my meds and only put me on sertraline) and im nauseous and anxious as hell. Im also agoraphobic and i feel like im jailed, my mom is so jealous im home but im a prisoner. I tried to go out but i end up overwhelmed, i need my meds and i can't get them. It's so painful to change medications. Im nauseous and my head hurts. I've been on them since 17-18. Taking out the trash is really hard. And i have to live alone. Probably even work. This mental hospital made me worse

[Beavis2022]

Meds are terrible - none worked for me - after years of it. side effects and withdrawals are horrible. I really think I have permanent brain damage from them. Had ECT treatments, too, and they took away memories permanently. I don't know what the answer is, but none of these are.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Beavis2022]

Oh no

[Beavis2022 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Thanks, .... I'm still managing to live@

[Alpakka123]

Hi sweetheart,

Can I ask what you have against working? Because tbh it sounds like the best thing for you would be to work. If I understand correctly from your previous post, you are in hospital to try and get disability. And you don't like it because you have to prove you're "dumb" (your words) with tests and go through medication changes. And you feel worse off because of being there.

The truth is though, you are at the mercy of others when in hospital. And you don't get a say in what medications you take. The government doesn't hand out disability status to everyone who asks for it. You have to prove that you need their help. That's how it is everywhere.

If I understand correctly, you are for the first time since 17/18 years of age switching medications. Medication changes can be tough, and my experience has been that "detoxing" from anxiety meds are the hardest by far because of becoming dependent on it. I remember being put on an anxiety medication (Solbril) while in the hospital and being taken off it because I kept asking to take it. And I remember it being hard to get used to not having it.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Alpakka123]

It's hard. I tried to get a job but they're not calling me these last months even though i applied and last experience was scams. And it's unconscious - counsciosly everyone says like you and i believe but unconsciously i just get unwell by the interview. Also I just can't make it every day hours. I really don't feel well nor mentally nor physically. Wish i was and i could just work. I hate myself for needing help, financial and with chores. Otherwise i would just be living a normal life, have self-esteem and boundaries and independence from mom and not feel like a burden. But it didn't work. It's not like i didn't try, i tried even in uni city but it's just getting worse and worse. My physical health also declined

[Alpakka123 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

It's subconscious. Ok yes, I know this feeling well. Can you work with a therapist on this?I live in a place where I am a foreigner. While my husband was brought into this country on an International job where he can speak English (our mother tongue), it's a different story for me. My visa allows me to work, so I tried looking. I gave up after only a short while though because of the language barrier. BUT....Noe I'm too comfortable not working. The longer I was out of a job, the more I got comfortable not having one. I got so comfortable in fact that I got a very uneasy feeling in me every time my husband suggested I start looking again. Not only was I nervous about the language, but i didn't want to leave my non-working life style behind.

While our situations are very different, the concept seems to be somewhat similar in the "being too comfortable not working" aspect.

I have found out though, that getting a job is for YOU. It's for you to have a routine every day, and it's for you to feel that you have a purpose to life.

[jjpeabody in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Dear No Longer Human, your current condition appears to have existed for some time now. By your posts it sounds like you are basically unable to work and take care of yourself. Hopefully you are still in some form of therapy and the hospital is exactly where you need to be with your condition and goal for disability funding. Usually those medications change the brain (in my experience temporarily but takes time). I have faith in you and believe with time you will get thru this, not a life of disability but a long and successful career and personal life. If you were able to do all the concentration, commitment, long term goals and focus, and significant social interactions and requirements to achieve a ? Masters degree in psychology, you have shown what you are capable of. With your excellent writing skills and with the aid of AI research (ie enter you condition into AI and ask for recommendations) I truly believe you could write a book about your life. It might even include your own recommendations and action plan for a successful cure. Good luck, and thanks for making the world a better place.