Social Anxiety

[Chicograd2015]

Does anyone else struggle with social anxiety? Do you also feel like people are judging you for what you say or do and struggle to talk on the phone or even to text message someone? When I text message I always overthink it and then believe when people will see the message they'll judge me or think things about me: anyone else have those feelings? Is it normal with social anxiety?

[Mandos]

Yes and probably more common than just you or me. Mine is deeply rooted in trust issues and manifests as paranoia in dealing with others.

Sometimes I question if people are truly my friends.

It's hard to fight these feelings, but you have to.

The truth is the reality our mind is creating for us is distorted. Think of how you feel when you talk to others. You're probably not judging them in the way that you feel you are being judged.

The important thing is to keep engaging in ways you feel you can comfortably.

[Chicograd2015 in reply to Mandos]

It’s hard because I’m not only autistic but I also have peas. And in elementary through high school I got made fun of and bullied a little bit. So, that plays a big part in my life

[Mandos in reply to Chicograd2015]

I was also bullied all the way though high school. I don't have autism or anything diagnosed outside of various anxiety disorders, but I hope you have other resources that share that with you. That past trauma from bullying will always exist. But you are determined to learn about overcoming it. It's clear just by posting here. 😁

Keep trying. It will feel better with more exposure and time.

[Listless_Traveler]

I have delt with Social Anxiety, and still do to some extent. It can be hard deciding what to say, hoping not to embarrass yourself or upset someone else. For me, I already have such a poor opinion of myself, it would hurt to know others felt the same way about me that I do.

But something that helps me is knowing that most people don't care. I know that sounds bad, but really, everyone is to busy with their own things to judge you. The things that you will stress about are things that other people will not even notice. In addition, many people are in the same boat as you and I. When you slip up after the Waiter/Waitress tells you "Enjoy your meal." and you say "You too." know that they have heard it before, they have made that mistake before, and most likely they won't judge you for it.

When writing a text, I often read it out loud once or twice to see how someone else might read it. This helps me see if someone else will misinterpret what I tried to say. I hope this helps even just a little bit. Just know your not alone. Best of Luck.

[Weatherwoman in reply to Listless_Traveler]

So so true! Most people I believe are in their OWN little worlds, and don't think much, if at all, about you. That is Sad in a way, but also the way it is. However, I do have some very judgemental people in my family. These types are best to stay away from as much as you can, and when you Have to deal with them, it's not easy as don't want to "get into" with them, but don't want them to "push" your buttons, either. I hope you will get to realize about the positive things about you, and dwell more on that. What I need to do, also. Think that we are probably Too Hard on ourselves, I know I am. Our own worst enemy is OUrselves!

[MaggieSylvie]

It's hard, but how long will you put your life on pause while you try to get your communications perfect? We all need to consider how we come across to others but also we need to live our lives.

[CLB1125]

I have it. I have gotten so bad I don’t call anyone except drs. Even amongst my family I feel like what I said was stupid. In social settings I will stand in the back and not engage. Makes life hard.

[majones_0608]

I often get scared to talk to people too. I can't even call people. The only people I can sometimes call are my parents and sometimes I get scared with them too. I get scared of being lectured or told what I can and cannot do. Or sales calls or collections people call me and I can't handle those calls. I can't even call people I have debts from people I am scared of having to face that responsibility. I am actually scared of responsibility, and I am 41 years old.

[SsgCulldelight]

Ohhhhhh my friend, you have got to trust yourself and Know that you are beautiful, kind and compassionate, most of all you are human and your blessing is you have a CHOICE. no one can take that from you unless YOU allow it. To make a decision is Judgement, we ALL do it you don't have to concern yourself with other people's views of you. If u wear nikes or converses that's your choice and what anyone thinks or says about it is their problem not yours, And You can't change what others think or do anyway. You define who and what you are no one else. You must KNOW that You are in control of what You think feel and respond to my friend, because at the end of Everyday You go to Bed with that, not those that don't like you, love you, envy you or want to be you. Self affirmation is what you need more of meditating and breathing exercises while affirming will help support and influence how you feel and what you evolve into as a person. I know you have medical challenges but you can't use that as a crutch to ignore life. Life Is for the living so get to it. Always Love and Light bro. Cheers hope this helps.

[Descendants]

Yeah it's normal but it gets a little bit better for me to go to better I stopped almost stopped caring that much and now I care but I worry sometimes not all the times like I used to them grateful for that that feeling is the worst always thinking that someone is judging you someone is looking at you and judging you talking bad about you that people fake friendships that no one is really telling me the truth everyone is lying that it's hard for you to ever be like by a person but I know that it will get better I hope it does for me also

[Gillyflower18]

Oh yes. I wear many masks to try and fit in. I hate social occasions. I always feel less than or like an outsider I have ASD like you which doesnt make it easier. Im working on just believing i am okay the way I am. We have to give ourselves a break. Im sure you have many good qualities. Ive found a few people who share my interests and i find it much easier to talk to them with my guard down.. Maybe if you find people like that for yourself it will help you too.

[Snowflake77]

I feel the same way. Scared to talk to people. People are mean sometimes. I have trust issues. My is from being controlled, manipulated and brainwashed from my parents and sister all my life.