Social Anxiety

[bennettblue]

It's the weekend and I have nothing to do. I'm a very socially anxious person. I have a few friends who I rarely see. I started a new job and I feel like no one likes me there, and then on the weekends, I spend most of my time alone. I live with my boyfriend, but we don't ever really go out. I feel trapped and alone. I'm turning 35 this year, and I feel so crippled by social anxiety. Does anyone else suffer from social anxiety?

[JAYnLA]

I've had it to varying degrees for all of my life, really. Breaking out into an uncontrollable sweat at a party is no fun! Many years ago this happened before I knew I had this issue. Now I know it was anxiety. Through learning about it, what it really is and getting down to some of what made me this way, it is getting better. I'm also currently taking Zoloft and it seems to be helping. Glad you're here.

[bennettblue in reply to JAYnLA]

Thanks for responding! I also have varying degrees of anxiety. Currently it's been bad with lots of stress and change in my life. I was on Celexa about a year ago and just take klonopin daily. It doesn't seem to help me much. What do you do for your anxiety besides meds? Do you just go out and try not to obsess over it? Therapy?

[JAYnLA in reply to bennettblue]

I see a good therapist once a week and he helps me to work with the physical aspects of anxiety and get down to their emotional causes. It gets worse for bit in this process then it starts to get better. I'm in the getting better part now. I also am on week 6 of Zoloft and it's helping a bit. I also take small amounts of ativan (a requirement for me - couldn't stay out of the emergency room without it). Will taper off of that slowly. Listening to interesting podcasts is kind of helpful as well. I meditate a LITTLE, not as much as I wish I could, but telling an anxious person to sit still is sometimes a silly direction. I have this app called Buddhify that has some walking meditations that are good. (I've been at this for a while and I've tried a TON of things.... not one single thing is the solution. It's a cocktail of activities and help that gets us to heal, I think.)

[LoneSoldier]

I can totally relate. Having moved around so much, it is almost impossible to make new friends as I gro older - at least so Ive told myself. Especially since I dont really want to hang around work related aquintances privately. Be happy that you have a partner, although it can still feel isolated. At least you have someone to lean on,

[bennettblue in reply to LoneSoldier]

Moving so frequently has to be difficult. Are you able to stay put anywhere for any period of time? What do you do when you're bored or feeling lonely?

[LoneSoldier in reply to bennettblue]

It is my biggest dream, I am aiming for it now as I am simply getting too old for moving around ....I think the longest time I have lived in one place is still definitley under two years. It is eating me. And what do I do when bored or lonely? Well ... Not the best thing to do but there is always some bar open somehwere. Alhough I shouldnt be drinking with my medications, and it is not the most conducive plae to find new friends who are good for my healing - I know. But...

I have been thinking about joining eveng courses or meetups or other social activities. But the free time I have I ususally end up spending exhausted in bed. Or maybe I am just procastinating because of my social anxiety. How to be judged by new people. Who am I? It feels like I cannot present an image of myself to other people if I dont know myself who I am. Except for my mental struggles. Not really a top notch opening line in the normal world. So yeah I guess that is the biggest hurdle. How do you get to know new people apart from work at this age and in a new place every few years.

But I have decided where to settle down so I guess that is my prary focus now to make it happen, and at least that will be somewhere where I do have some friends as well, real ones.

But any advice n how to get over tthat hurdle - to "pick up" new friends at an adult age ....would indeed be welcome.

[gfranklin12]

No love... it's all right to have these emotions😊😊😊!!! Please don't force something that is not there... relating to going places that may not be the best fit right now!!!! One day at a time love.

[marheart]

Everyone has social anxiety. Those of us who suffer from it have a disorder that pushes the limits. Go for professional talk therapy to get individual face to face help.

[ok5677]

Dm me if you need w friend