Hi, hope you are all well. I’ve been silently suffering from social anxiety disorder for many years and still there’s been no change. I thought I would come on here and see if anyone has any tips to overcome this social anxiety feeling it would be appreciated. I guess I’ve gotten used to feeling this way about everything that happens letting my thoughts affect every social situation before, during and after social situations. My mind is actively on 24/7 and i do not know how to deal with this. It’s so awful I can’t even make a phone call to anyone due to the constant fear and worry due to the uncertainty and not being able to prepare beforehand what I will say. This has been a really bothersome and tedious task for me recently!! What bothers me is I’m only in my early 20’s I should be able to go out and do things I enjoy without worrying but this is not possible as I’d just feel all eyes are on me the constant eye contact and trying to hold down a conversation just isn’t easy and I know people say that people are worrying about themselves and not looking at me or thinking bad about me but in the back of my mind I still believe I am being judged.
sorry for the long message. I would appreciate any support, tips and exercises that may be useful in my situation.
Kind regards
Ace200
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Ace200
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Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad that you are on a positive healing journey and that you are now much more confident than you were 10 years ago. You go girl!! What’s the secret to this success? I’ve watched the video this morning and it’s a interesting take on anxiety and that it’s important to come out of the comfort zone in order to face the fear but I don’t know where to start with this. I know small steps is key but it’s not a easy process. I completely relate to the fact that I was labeled as the quiet girl my whole life and it just stuck with me but just got worse each time. I would love to live life and not just exist but I guess small steps is the way to go. Hope your healing continues to go well friend!!
Hi. I so sympathise as a fellow sufferer. Hopefully you will get lots of helpful advice and tips from others on this site. Yesterday someone shared advice which I'm very hopeful of, and I add the screenshot of it here. Best of luck!
Thank you for your response. I have not heard of the tapping solution before and I watched a few videos of a person guiding through the tapping and I’m not sure yet if it’s useful but I did feel a lot calmer in that particular moment but will continue to practice and fingers crossed it works for me!!
Hi again! Your doctor wasn't very helpful in what he prescribed, by the sound of it. I was once prescribed a tranquilliser called valium, but it just doped me up, so I don't think that's the answer. It might be worth trying some of the Bach remedies, especially Rescue Remedy. They don't work for everyone, but it's worth a try. If you look up the Bach website you should find remedies especially for anxiety. I use Larch for 'confidence'.I was recently in touch with someone else here who was very self-conscious, and encouraged him to do things he was anxious about more often, in the hope he would gain more confidence (but I'm afraid I don't do that myself)!
I have downloaded two apps that help me. One is called Gratitude, and gives an inspirational message every day. (I often post quotes from it as 'thought for the day').
The other is an app called Soulspace, which is a comforting and inspiring app, but with a religious context (specifically Christian, because it quotes from the bible). What I love about it is that the woman talking has such a lovely voice, and I always feel so much better after hearing it. Best of luck!
Yeah that's pretty rough, especially with dating. It ruined it for me. I'm left with a lot of regrets, even after over 50 yrs. You're still young, maybe can get some professional help. I've gotten a bit better but it just seemed to be a huge, long effort and falling on my face many times. My self-esteem was lousy which showed up as if it was written across my forehead!
thank you for your reply! I have been to the doctors who have said I’ve got social anxiety I was given propranolol however this just did not help me at all as it just slows the heart rate down which didn’t help in my case. I was also suggested to find anxiety chats online to have someone to talk to when in times of need. I regret all my choices now seeing people be happy and enjoy their life I just sometimes wonder what it would be like to step into their shoes and experience life from their Perspective. I’m glad to hear you are doing better I hope your journey to healing continues to go well.
The only thing I would suggest (if not already) avoid Benzos except panic attacks. I'm 8 yrs off and still a nightmare. I had hoped to at least be a bit more secure with myself. But such is not the case - oh contrare. I sabotaged everything that was positive in life. I came into it with a lot of fear. I just looked fwd to it ending, stunted psychological development at about 5th grade. Had ADD as well, so learning was exceedingly difficult, low IQ which doesn't mean that much. I really am embarrassingly limited in terms of maturity. Perhaps explains my anxiety/depression and grief.
Hello Ace, I suffered from social anxiety for years and healed. My suggestion is that you find a therapist near you that specializes in treating social anxiety, they will typically incorporate group and exposure therapy into the process as well as teaching you new ways to think. SA distorts our perceptions of how we perceive others and how others perceive us. In my recovery I was astounded one day to realize that people actually liked and enjoyed me and valued my company, I had spent years thinking just the opposite.
I also found medication helpful during my recovery. It also helps to understand how and why you developed SA, I grew up in an emotionally repressive abusive household and was bullied as a child which led to my SA. Consequently I had shame, repressed anger and rage that I needed to get in touch with and process in order to heal.
If there isn't a specialist therapist available to you, you might look at some online programs. One that looks good to me is by Sebastiaan at social-anxiety-solutions.com he has a website and youtube videos and a affordable program. He incorporates EFT into the therapy which I have done some of but I have done EMDR which is similar and it was very helpful.
Thank you for your response designguy . I’m proud that you were able to break out of the cycle that is social anxiety. Wish you the best on your healing journey. I cannot afford therapy just yet as life can be quite expensive but once I can I will give it a go and fingers crossed all goes well. My anxiety stems from childhood I was in a house full of arguments all the time. I feel like I was forced to deal with my emotions myself and suppressed them. I think those emotions kept bubbling over the years and I’ve gotten used to being there for myself instead. From this I discovered I know hate confrontation and people shouting at me and I realized I prefer my own company but it’s dealing with the past and trying to move forward.
You're welcome, it sounds like your background was similar to mine. I grew up in an emotionally repressive and abusive household and was shamed and punished for showing any signs of normal anger or trying to stand up for myself and be proud of myself, so I too ended up stuffing and denying my emotions and the shame, anger and rage I felt and it was contributing to my anxiety.
One of the big things that helped me was learning about trauma/c-ptsd and realizing that I was suffering from it from my crappy childhood and bullying in school. I've since read that the majority of people with SA have experienced some form of trauma/c-ptsd that led to their social anxiety. I found the book "Complex-PTSD, from surviving to thriving" by Pete Walker to be very helpful and there is a lot of info on youtube about it. I ended up finding a therapist that specialized in treating trauma/c-ptsd and working with him, he used emdr as part of the therapy which was very beneficial for allowing me to get in touch with my repressed emotions, process and heal them and to minimize my being triggered from them in the future and there is a lot of good info on youtube about it. I've found youtube to be very helpful and it's free.
Yeah that's sort of how it was for me. My older brother by 7 yrs had an explosive temper, I was terrified growing. Was very imposing, put guilt into it, hit me etc. I think I became easily intimidated, worried about fighting, confrontation. Age 10 I gained weight, lost self-esteem proportionally. My mom had also been committed for extreme depression. The rest is history. Bro went to prison for illegal firearms, possession of Ricin. Took his life about a year after being released. I always kept a distance. He tried to reach out to me in the end - story of tragedy.
Hi There.. ok what if all eyes are on you..maybe they appreciate what they see...you dont have to hold a conversation....talk later? and then take care of yourself. I know the 24/7 and even getting out the door is biggy some days. You are of worth just as you are. it would be terrible never to meet you. hi!
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