Difficult Colleagues

[Rituals]

How do you deal with awkward colleagues?

[RS1974]

With kindness..... Treat everyone with kindness 😊

[hypercat54]

I would be polite with them but distant. Try not to let them get to you and don't be drawn into any drama with them.

Throughout my whole working life I have found this to be the most helpful approach.

[Rituals in reply to hypercat54]

One is quite dramatic, I just listen & I offer help if I can but I’m wary. I said a few things that meant no harm & she jumped down my throat. I wasn’t offensive but maybe she didn’t know how to take it.

[hypercat54 in reply to Rituals]

I wouldn't worry about her feelings to be honest. I know in your situation I wouldn't want to listen or try and help especially after she had a go at what you said. Protect yourself from her.

Stuff her and her dramatics lol.

[Rituals in reply to hypercat54]

I’m confused with the whole situation. The one who had a go broke down in tears & explained how she’s feeling. So we all reassured her it’s ok.

[hypercat54 in reply to Rituals]

Kindness is very much underrated and is the hallmark of a decent person. Well done.

But it doesn't mean you have to get involved with her from now on unless you can deal with it. We all have our limits.

[LadyZen]

I avoid them as much as I can.

[ACE135]

Awkward in what way?

[Rituals in reply to ACE135]

When you say something’s white but to them it’s black, on the defensive & one-upmanship.

[ACE135 in reply to Rituals]

Do you have to interact with them much? Either way, I would speak to them only when I have to. I'm quite fiesty when dealing with idiots, so whenever someone is rude I will put them in their place which means they are never rude to me again. I understand that not everyone is comfortable with confrontation though. If it's becoming a big problem, I would mention it to management so they are aware. It's horrible when working in a hostile environment. Remember to take deeps breaths and tell yourself that they are idiots and are meaningless to your life.

[Rituals in reply to ACE135]

I don’t have to but I feel i need to as were a small team. We have moments where we discuss certain things but it’s sort of one sided. There’s a lack of listening on their part. How do you put them in their place?

[ACE135 in reply to Rituals]

I wouldn't bother making an effort, especially if they're not even listening. I would just concentrate on my work and enjoy the peace and quiet.

It depends on the situation, but I've pulled people to the side and asked them about the issue. People tend to get embarrassed and uncomfortable when you've voiced your opinion on their negative/stupid behaviour. I let them know that I'm not happy and may ask what their problem is. I've had a few arguments with colleagues about their rudeness by pointing out times when they've been rude to me and other people, and then they stop the nonsense. Generally, when people see that you respect yourself and are not afraid to stand up for yourself, they tend to back off or change their behaviour.

If I was in your situation, I would openly ask them if there is a reason why they are being difficult /awkward. I'd also point out (jokingly perhaps) that they're terrible listeners and that I can't be bothered to have one way conversations anymore. Obviously, this is me and I'm not suggesting you take my approaches as you need to do what feels comfortable for you. I can't tolerate any sort of bullying and have had to defend coworkers before, which is odd because I'm very elegant and sweet looking, lol. I think that's what catches them off guard! One reason people can be horrible is because they are jealous of you, which leads them to behave in petty ways...

[Rituals in reply to ACE135]

Sorry I feel like they don’t listen but they do hear everything I say. It started with one whom I didn’t connect with. We call this type of person “funny bugger”. She started to spread rumours about me, that I’m easily offended. Someone put a complaint in & she calmed down for a bit. Then the other colleague had a go at her for manipulating her. That’s all in the past now & they’ve worked things out. Somehow I can’t fully trust or be myself with them. I also look after myself, is that a threat as I’ve noticed a few had made some changes in their appearances. The environment is all about winning.

[ACE135 in reply to Rituals]

If you look after yourself and look good, then some might feel threatened by this which can cause hostility. Yes, work environments can be all about winning unfortunately. Hope things get better for you.

[Grandmaof3 in reply to ACE135]

That’s my question too.

[marsbarr]

I'd say treat them with a long handled spoon.

[Grandmaof3]

It depends how they’re being awkward. Mostly just be kind but avoid any confrontation if possible. If they’re doing something that over steps personal boundaries (ie: harassment or sexual advances) then possibly speak to a manager or HR.