I'm a freaking monster

[No_Longer_Human]

I guess. With zero value. One man decides to fck and poof - 4 women's lives are ruined but im the monster. I'm a monster. I hate myself

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

no you just not coping with it all

[No_Longer_Human in reply to LazyXrayEyes2255]

I try so hard. Go to therapy, take meds, meditate, every method known to humankind and im still waking up screaming from ptsd nightmares and nauseous which also triggers a trauma. I don't know how to cope. My mom's.....

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

you have to concentrate on yourself and use self help techniques. You have to do something to change your situation.

Your parents aren't going to change and you have to deal with it

[No_Longer_Human in reply to LazyXrayEyes2255]

Oh

[Hidden]

I hope you find your inner strength. It’s there you just need to find it. Use it to save yourself, you are not a monster. I hear you and I care as do many others here.

[Tryingtolive62 in reply to Hidden]

What happened?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Tryingtolive62]

My dad left to have another family and mom went crazy alcholic and started abusing me and sis. Then I started being hypervigiliant and reactive and trying to control mom's drinking and grandma blames me for that and so do people defending dad's child

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. But i can't save myself with this trauma

[Tryingtolive62]

what happened?

[catsrock]

Sounds like he is the monster, not you

[No_Longer_Human in reply to catsrock]

Thank youuuu

[MorningDanceTrece]

???

[No_Longer_Human in reply to MorningDanceTrece]

My dad left to have another family and mom went crazy alcholic and started abusing me and sis. Then I started being hypervigiliant and reactive and trying to control mom's drinking and grandma blames me for that and so do people defending dad's child

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I'm really sorry to hear about all these horrible and tragic things that have happened in your life. I'm also sorry to hear and can identify with and relate to doing everything under the sun to deal with things and get well and it just doesn't seem to be happening.

I sincerely hope that you can find something or that something you already doing will start working to help you have the peace that you deserve.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to MorningDanceTrece]

Thanks. Im desperate

[Tryingtolive62]

your not a monster! Can you move out?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Tryingtolive62]

Thank you. She moved out but I'm still wounded and struggling to take care of myself

[Tryingtolive62]

I hope it gets better soon.