Anxiety is a monster

[Lindsey14]

A lot of days i wish I was normal, I wish I never had to deal with this burden known as anxiety. I hate the thoughts it brings, the ones like I'm crazy or worthless. Anxiety in general causes me paranoid thoughts. I hate how it affects everypart of my life. Makes me not concentrate or remember well. Makes me constantly worry. It just seems so unfair for us who have it

[Beevee]

It does seem unfair but it is us who prolong inappropriate levels of anxiety. Not an outside force. It’s not even a monster because anxiety is designed to protect us from danger ( it’s just your fight / flight response that has gone into overdrive because you keep telling your brain you are under threat - more about this later). Monsters don’t protect people. It’s our friend and simply doing it’s job and very effective and efficient it is too!

It’s not something that just happens to us. It’s there because you have been stressed about something or lots of little things which have taken their toll on your nerves. The symptoms you are experiencing are as a result of your nerves being sensitised through stress and then kept sensitised by not accepting the symptoms which can manifest themselves in lots of different ways. For example, the intrusive thoughts you describe, all with a negative tone. Although the subject of those thoughts may vary, the underlying cause is all the same. They are all created by your anxious mind. You have no control over thoughts that come uninvited but they are heavily magnified by your anxiety, giving them a false importance. The normal response to these thoughts is to worry about them because they feel so important. You spend time trying to figure them out, battling them, trying to suppress them, trying to distract yourself.

The important thing to remember about these thoughts is that they are not real. They are not important. They are just a figment of an anxious mind. If you didn’t have anxiety, you wouldn’t have those thoughts. They wont be there when you recover so why respect them?

If you learn to let the thoughts come...and go, taking a passive attitude towards them, they will eventually lose their power and fade away. They only come because you keep feeding them by letting them bother you. You said you hate them. Acceptance is key to recovery from intrusive thoughts and any other symptom of anxiety, such as depression. Fighting the symptoms is so exhausting, it depletes emotional reserves. Fighting or hating the symptoms is sending messages to your brain (limbic system) that there is a threat so keeps your anxiety levels high, maintaining the depressive state. It becomes the norm, a habit. However, habits can be broken.

Acceptance of the symptoms facilitates the recovery of the mind and body which will happen naturally, when you give up the fight. In other words, you stop hating how you feel and develop a “don’t care” attitude towards the symptoms, making your life bigger than anxiety, and doing stuff as if you didn’t have “it.” So, as you may gather, so much of our suffering is inflicted by ourselves but by accepting things as they are and not doing anything to try and make yourself think or feel differently, recovery is inevitable.

Hope this helps.

[Rosesmom in reply to Beevee]

Wow...what a powerful and insightful message. Thank you.

[Beevee in reply to Rosesmom]

Thanks Rosesmom. The subject of anxiety is so misunderstood by so many, resulting in needless suffering. It makes me sad when I read posts from people who are battling with their anxiety and depletion (kinder term for depression) when it is that very battle that keeps them entrenched.

I recovered when I truly understood what was meant by giving up the fight and not doing anything about the symptoms. When sufferers understand that they won’t get better until they STOP TRYING to get better, they are well on their way to recovery.

[Rosesmom in reply to Beevee]

Your assessment of "anxiety" gave me the tools and the strength to confront my negative thoughts this morning. Am no longer giving them the attention that had been the normal response and will continue to do so. Thank you again for post and your kind response.

[Beevee in reply to Rosesmom]

👍 ♥️

[Damian]

I know what you mean, but it's very common to struggle with things. At least by attaching the anxiety label, we are recognising that it's not real. A lot of people get anxious or depressed thoughts, and they see them as real, a realistic assessment of the situation they find themselves in. That's much worse.

Over my life I've had two big anxiety episodes. When I had the first one I was about your age, and I didn't have a good idea what it meant to have an anxiety disorder. I got in a terrible state because the anxiety was telling me that I had failed and had no future. At least you understand that anxiety distorts reality. You still have the anxious thoughts but you know they're anxious thoughts, even if you can't easily make them go away.

When I had my second episode, it was very unpleasant, but at least by then I'd worked out that it was an illness. I went to see a therapist which helped a bit (and gave me a chance to talk about some weird stuff in my past that I'd never been able to talk through with anyone else). I also read a book about CBT and that helped a bit more.

[Humankind-BE_BOTH]

One day at a time that's all that we can ask of ourselves...

[HopeinGod]

Hi Lindsey14, I'm really sorry that you suffer so much. I hope you get a chance to read Beevee's response, and truly consider that post's message. Who do you have as your cheerleader, confidant or trusted friend that can help you? When I have spoken to friends who are stressed out, many times after a few minutes into the conversation, I can tell when the stress starts diminishing and they start to feel better. Have you experienced that? Do you know someone that can guide you toward finding someone that might help like a counselor or pastor? If you are working, sometimes the Human Resources office includes the benefit of getting counseling for free or at a minimal cost. Have you tried to see if it's a medical problem? That little thyroid that we have can sometimes cause lots of issues that start out messing us physically and then develops others issues because our bodies are not functioning well. No one should be going through what you are going through and I hope you find answers, blessings