Learning aɓout myself

[Bigoldogsmiles]

So I was sitting at the table this morning doing a puzzle and noticed I was becoming noticably more anxious. Puzzles are supposed to be relaxing, but...In my previous line of work I was an insurance broker. I had an impossibly huge book of business with impossibly tight time deadlines. To say this line of work is stressful is an understatement. I would come in early, stay late, and not take breaks. This was expected of all staff. I was not the exception. I ignored my state of exhaustion to get the job done.

To make a long story short. I subconciously was pressuring myself to get the task (my puzzle) completed. I have managed to turn what should be a very pleasant past time into a job. I will have to be aware of this in the future and remind myself that it's important to have limitations and not everthing has to be comlpeted in a tumely manner. I am newly retired for just over a year. I was wondering, has anyone else ever experienced this kind of thing?

[Dolphin14]

Bigolddogsmiles

It's sad that pressure and timelines stick with people after retirement.

I do think relaxing is a learned behavior, like a reset now that the demands are in the past.

I've have to learn not to rush through daily responsibilities and honestly I struggle with this.

I do work part time and I do volunteer work but I have way more down time and could take life a little slower.

Wishing you the best

🐬

[Bigoldogsmiles in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you Dolphin14. My husband quite often has told me I don't know how to relax. He is right about that.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Bigoldogsmiles]

Haha!

I'm the same, never learned it. We should try that for a NY resolution

[Bigoldogsmiles in reply to Dolphin14]

Agreed! NY resolution. Learn to relax!

[beehappy2day]

Hi Bigoldogsmiles ! You are not alone with these feelings.

I've been an anxious perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I was always a go-getter and rushing to nowhere. But after I graduated from my master's program, I struggled to find a job and have been unemployed for the past year and a half now.

I often find myself anxious turning tasks that should be pleasurable. For me, it's coloring and playing video games. Instead of just enjoying the doing, I am often rushing to finish and move on to completing the next task. Coloring my daily picture often feels like a chore, even though I only started coloring every day because I loved it and it brought me immense joy to do so. But I often do not feel like this anymore, and it's so frustrating!

From my experience, awareness is key though. So great job there! Keep noticing when these feelings come up, and counteract them with lots of self-reassurance that it's okay to relax and enjoy yourself, not everything has to be work. Take breaks if you need to. Explore other areas of life or hobbies that spark joy.

Just be sure to give yourself grace as you make this transition and know that there are others who share your experience and are here to support you 💜🐝

[Bigoldogsmiles in reply to beehappy2day]

Thank you for your response beehappy2day! Your share and support mean a lot!

[Bigoldogsmiles in reply to beehappy2day]

Oh. And I wish you the best of luck finding a great job!

[Aimingfor106]

YES! And it's awesome that you're recognizing it. Did you ever read or see Eat, Pray, Love? Americans tend to have this weird and unfortunate inability to relax and just enjoy life. You'll be in work-mode for a while after retiring, for sure. But in time, you'll learn to relax and lean into the puzzles in life with some serenity instead of urgency. <3

[Bigoldogsmiles in reply to Aimingfor106]

Thank you for your support Aimingfor106. I feel like my brain has gone from working at 100 mph to 20. It's nice to know I am not alone.