I'm scared of myself: Have you ever... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I'm scared of myself

MandyBueno profile image
7 Replies

Have you ever felt not good enough?? Or that everything around you does not make sense??? Well, that's how i feel right now. I'm fighting this war, trying to swim in this waves, the Wind is raging on. I'm in the last year of school,next year i graduate, but i'm so afraid to screw things up because of anxiety, in the morning i go to work i take one train ( 7 stations until my destitantion) and then i get a bus, i work with kids so they Drain the energy that's left for me. I want so bad to graduate, last time i had this anxieties attacks i quit my job and quit the college, then i managed to get everything back. My mom gives me strengh, she Said i need to be strong and show some skin. I am fighting but i'm tired, it is all too much for me. I started to be afraid of my own emotions, i'm afraid of what i'm capable to do.

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MandyBueno profile image
MandyBueno
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7 Replies
jkl5500 profile image
jkl5500

Are you under treatment for anxiety and depression? Your symptoms are very strong, and you should see a doctor ASAP. Don't try and fight this by yourself.

gerrerd profile image
gerrerd

Try the sedona method it may help you with stress release, and give you more energy, Ray.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I can relate and wrote a similar post today about not feeling good enough and about a panic attack. Blessings and love to you!

Optimistic_22 profile image
Optimistic_22

Anxiety will bring about stress and fear. I deal with that on a day-to-day basis. Just know that you can prevail and you've shown that thus far. Fear can be very gripping often accompanied with anxiety. Hang in there you can do it you're almost done. School I know in myself gives me the most anxiety. You have to realize it's just a feeling and when you put your mind to it you can do anything. You got this trust me. 😁 Also try to relax and enjoy yourself in between exams. If you're in a state of chaos a flight or fight response. You'll will never have any downtime it'll make it that much harder for you. Try yoga meditation art dancing reading running. Any hobbies or things that are positive that make you happy. No fear You got this. 🙂

Beevee profile image
Beevee

Hi Mandy

I note in your post that you are fighting a war, swimming against the waves in the middle of an anxiety storm. It sounds very much like a huge struggle to keep yourself afloat and your head above the water.

I think the reason why you suffer so much and have no energy is because you are constantly fighting to feel a different way. In my experience, fighting just prolongs your suffering because it keeps your nerves sensitised which is the cause of all those bad thoughts and feelings. Trying to stay strong or fighting is not the way to overcome anxiety.

To beat anxiety, you must give up fighting to think and feel different and take the opposite approach to what you have been doing. What do I mean by this? Well, I mean stopping doing things to try and get rid of anxiety. Don’t do anything about the thoughts and feelings and just carry on with your day as best you can, taking the anxiety with you. Let yourself think and feel EVERYTHING and to fall into any state and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it.

The fight you mention is a fight that you are having with yourself and one you cannot win. You just go round in circles chasing your own tail which is mentally draining. Those thoughts and feelings you have will not be there if it wasn’t for your anxiety so stop fighting, stop suppressing, stop avoiding. Stop doing anything to try and get rid of anxiety. No wonder you feel mentally exhausted by it all. Give up the fight and let the anxiety do what it wants to do without offering any sort of resistance. This allows your tired, sensitised nerves the space and time needed for them to recover and for normality and peace of mind and body to return.

Instead of trying to swim against those waves, let yourself float on the surface and let the wind blow you in any direction it wishes. Nothing will happen to you. It may feel very uncomfortable but if you learn to let go, things will greatly improve over a period of time.

Hope this helps.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Beevee

Beevee, I remember years ago my psychiatrist telling me it was if I were in the middle of the ocean and finding no land in site. Unfortunately that was how far he got. Had you only been around, I would have known to allow myself to float and let the wind carry me. Instead it cost me years of therapy not knowing which way to go in life.

The new members now a days have a new enlightment through the forum and members like yourself who have been through these issues and found the answers necessary in reaching their goals. Thanks xx

Beevee profile image
Beevee in reply to Agora1

Thank you Agora1. It does not matter how entrenched sufferers may feel or how long they have suffered.

Acceptance plots and navigates the course back home to dry land. Sufferers don’t need to do anything except to kick back, observe the storm as it rages on around them and let acceptance take the helm. Sufferers have to pass through the storm to find calm waters. Acceptance knows the way home. 😊

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