Hi everyone! I am new

[Rieses_Pieces]

Good day everyone. I just joined and wanted to share a little bit about myself. I have anxiety, OCD, agoraphobia and have had episodes of depression in the past. I was also born with a congenital heart defect. It was a rough road dealing without much support from my family. It got to a point where I couldn’t keep it bottled anymore and my mental health tanked. I am doing much better now, after spending years trying to find the right therapist and medication combos. I only have my husband and therapist as my support. I am excited to join this platform to talk about and learn more about anxiety and how other people have found ways to manage it.

[Stippler]

Welcome to the group! For sure, I can relate to the part about not much support from family. You are in good company here. Please feel free to share what you are comfortable with and you should receive many replies.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to Stippler]

Thank You! There is a lot to share

[Icare67]

Welcome here! So glad to hear that after years of effort with therapist and medication you can see and feel improvement. Feel free to share we are her to listen.

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. I have agoraphobia too and it has been so helpful talking to people here who understand.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

Good to hear! I have not be able to meet anyone who has it and I think it is difficult for a lot of people to understand.

[Rufus07 in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

I have it also but with baby steps I am getting better🙂. It is difficult for people to understand if they don’t experience it themselves

[gajh in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

Do you feel like talking about it with me? Where are you at with it? Are you leaving the house at all?

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

Sure, my agoraphobia came on quickly after a traumatic event. Every time I left my house my anxiety would be between 6-9. I had to quit my job. After I quit my job, I did not leave the house for 3 months. When I did leave the house it was quick trips, like 5 to 20 minutes out to the store or walk around the block. It took me a few therapists and psychitrists before I found the right ones. But basically, I only left the house when my anxiety was at level 3 or below. If it was higher than that, it would set me back. I was also prescribed Zoloft which helped bring down my anxiety as well. Now I can leave the house once a week for about and hour or two with little to no anxiety. Doctors appointments are still extremely distressing for me, because of my heart issues and my last trauma occured in a medical setting, but I slowly chipping away at changing my thought patterns to not automatically default to spiral. Another thing that has helped is I deleted most of my social media and greatly limit the amount of time I am on it. If you have any questions, I will be happy to share.

[gajh in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

That is so encouraging that you are able to leave the house for an hour or two with little to no anxiety. Where do you go? I have been going out once a week for dinner with my boyfriend for a while now. Recently I started attending mindfulness classes. That was a big step. It was very positive for me. I still do not go out and about on my own. I so much prefer to be home. I keep trying and with support I receive here, I continue to make very gradual progress. I am really interested in talking to you more. Sorry for my delayed response.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

No, worries about the delayed response. Good to hear mindfulness classes are helping you. I do mindfulness with my therapist and it helps me too. It took me awhile to be out alone, I completely understand how that feels. I still have to go to medical appointments with my husband because of the trauma around my past medical issues. Anyway, when I leave the house, I go to a coffee shop, run errands, window shop. My psychiatrist is a 20 min drive away from me, which is good at keeping my radius larger than if I would stay in just my town. I think I biggest thing that helped me get out at first was to go to places I have never been. I went to the various gas stations and stores. Luckily my town has been growing a lot so, which makes it easier. The idea behind going to a place I have never been was that I knew that I have never had a bad panic attack in those places. I will admit, I was still a little nervous because it was a new place, but after my first trip I felt a lot of confidence to continue doing it . Gas station or a quick mart are good places to start, because you can just run in grab something and leave. Each time spend a few more moments browsing. Little by little spend a few more minutes in the store. There will probably be some setbacks, but that's ok. It's not a race. I have confidence that you can do it.

[gajh in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

I had built up to driving myself to the pharmacy and The Dollar Tree. I went a further distance by driving to my parent's house. On the way home I got double vision. I totally freaked out and drove myself all the way home. That was a big setback for driving. I went through medical tests and gave it time. The first time I tried to drive again I got double vision on the way home again. Now I am really afraid to drive. My boyfriend is driving me to my meditation classes, but at least I am going to those on my own. I already had an appointment with a neurologist. He referred me to a neuro ophthalmologist. I would think the double vision was anxiety related, but I have had double vision when I was not anxious too. Do you feel like talking about the medical trauma or is that too much?

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

Sorry to hear about your double vision. Hopefully the neuro ophthalmologist appointment can help you. I used to get not really distorted vision, but defiantly distorted vision when I used to drive. I was afraid to drive too. I still get it when I am super anxious, but it went away after I started on zoloft. I am comfortable talking about my old trauma, but my newest is still too difficult. Basically I was born with a congenital heart defect 40 years ago, so less medical advances then. I was failure to thrive. Had my first surgery at several days old. Another at 4, then at 25. I also had a few minor procedures on one of my lungs. It was all very scary not knowing what was happening to me and not having any control over what was done to me. I am grateful to the doctors who save my life, but it set up for a life of always living in fear. My parents also never told me about my appointments until the day of, which kept the fear of another appointment always in the back of my mind. It also created a lot of stress when I was an adult needing to schedule my own appointments. I also remember so little about my visits to the cardiologist, despite having a lot of memories from outside the hospital settings.

[gajh in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

Can you describe what your distorted vision is like? You are the first person I have talked to who has mentioned anything related to vision with anxiety. That is great that the zoloft helped. I am sorry for all you have gone through medically. How is your physical health now? I can't imagine having to deal with physical health issues on top of the anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia. I am very grateful to be in good health.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

Sorry for the very late reply. My life has been very hectic. The only way I describe my distorted vision is almost like when I am drunk. Everything looks kind of grainy, yet still sharp. Very weird. Other than my heart, my physical health is pretty good.

[gajh in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

So you don't see double? Like I see 2 mailboxes where there is 1. Not all of the time. It has just happened off and on with no rhythm or reason.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

No, I don't get double vision. Sorry, its super hard to explain.lol. And no I only usually have in when my stress level is elevated., but it can happen random sometimes.

[gajh in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

I am confused because it does not only happen when I am anxious. My Neurologist referred me to a Neuro Ophthalmologist. She is the only one in the state. I haven't even been able to schedule an appointment yet. It is probably going to be forever before I see her.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to gajh]

Sometimes I think when I get random weird symptoms out of the blue, I believe even if I do not feel anxious, something is going on in the background in my brain that I am not conscious of. About your appointment, does that doctor provide telehealth services?

[kenster1]

.my two friends(brothers) had heart defects they never knew they had I'm glad you know and hopefully it doesn't hold you back in life.

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to kenster1]

Sorry about your friends brothers. Not knowing anything must be so difficult for them. I just know very little. My parents kept me in the dark with what was exactly wrong with me and we never talked about it. I didn't learn more about it until I was an adult.

[kenster1 in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

They both passed away sadly a couple of years apart.

[Kyliesmom]

Welcome to the group, we are happy to have you join us!

[Albatrossss]

Welcome! Thank you for sharing your journey—it's inspiring to see how far you've come. Glad to have you here, and I hope you find support and helpful insights in this community! 😊

[catsrock]

Welcome!

[DJB74]

You are very strong resilient person.

[Rufus07]

welcome! I hope you can find some help here🙂

[Agora1]

Hi Rieses_Pieces, a little late with my response but hopefully a positive one.

I went through Anxiety and 5 years of Agoraphobia. (where I never left my house)

I developed Fibromyalgia during that time. It all started way back when I was told

I had Mitral Valve Prolapse and more recently A-Fib. With the proper medications

there isn't anything I can't or won't do. I did see a psychiatrist and therapist during

my agoraphobia. That was more difficult for me because I was struggling with a fear

that seemed beyond my control. Taking one step at a time while working on myself,

I have conquered the fear of fear, the agoraphobia and the Fibro I just live with.

I will not let some entity rob me of any more days of my life. I feel that I've paid my dues.

Now it's my time to Live and not just Exist.

I wish this for you as well. xx

[Rieses_Pieces in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for replying. Glad to hear your doing great. The fear of fear seems to be one of the hardest things I am working through.

[Agora1 in reply to Rieses_Pieces]

Rieses Pieces, it took time and I won't say it was easy. But I do understand being

trapped by our own mind and what it can do to you.

There are many besides myself who have struggled with this. Never feel you are

alone. We are here to help you take those small steps to success. xx