Hi, I am new and today is my birthday, but I am still so depressed.

[IgorM91]

I will start by saying that I had undiagnosed mental illnesses since the age of seven through trauma and genetic factors. I was only diagnosed in 2014 after an attempted suicide, since that time I don’t feel like I am getting better but I am either barely making it or suffering each day. I take so many meds and see a therapist weekly and find myself unable to get better despite my best efforts. I have lost hope in myself and just have given up on any dreams I may ever had. I live with my parents and I am on disability, making friends is difficult and dating even harder. My parents are completely ignorant to my mental health and so I lack any proper support system. Today I turned 29 and for the last 11 years nothing has changed in my life I am still living with my parents and I still do basically nothing all day except for chores. I am in a great deal of emotional pain that leads me to crying silently and alone daily. I want to have hope but when I do it’s always shattered before my eyes. I am like a leaf that is tossed to and fro in the wind.

[Mary-intussuception]

Birthday Greetings💐

6th June 1991 was a very special day x

[smoothseas]

Yes!!! Birthday greetungs....

[IgorM91]

I meant they’re ignorant in regards to what causes mental illness and are ignorant also to its treatment. Such as thinking that because I am taking medicine I should be perfectly fine when I am not.

[Hidden in reply to IgorM91]

Medication only helps so much. See my last reply to you. ❤️

[Agora1]

Igor, even the leaf settles down once the winds have calmed.

My daughter's birthday is today as well. Many similarities in your

lives. She also had trauma in the first 2 years of her life before she

became my foster child and then I adopted her. The damage a child

experiences in their younger years, leaves an emotional scar.

She too is on disability because of an eating disorder.

I hear you so well and I feel for your pain. The difference is that you

are reaching out for support, you are seeing a therapist and you are

on medication. I have hope for you that in time, you will see some answers.

Loneliness is quite prevalent when you are stuck at home. Dating and

having friends is difficult to achieve because no one truly understands. She

carries the same sadness.

Today is your special day, a reason to have been born.

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Igor.

I'm happy that we get to celebrate with you xx

[IgorM91 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your thoughtful words. The understanding of others is stronger than any medicine I could ever take.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to IgorM91]

You are Precious ❤️

It may not always feel like this - but you are Precious and Loved.

xxx

[hypercat54]

Happy birthday and welcome to the site.

[Want2BHappy3]

Sorry for your Pain, maybe changing therapist? And getting on medication? Family and friends don’t understand what we’re going through. Maybe take your Parents to one of your sessions so the doctor can explain what you’re going through? 🙏

[c-mac]

I'm a little late to this conversation, but have you given yourself a birthday present? Something symbolic, maybe? Maybe set aside 5 minutes to do something just for your birthday - like take a walk to soak in all your surroundings, or set up a cozy corner of a couch with a drink and a snack and a book, and just enjoy it for a while, your own birthday time. It's really hard to do when I am down, but showing myself compassion can make me feel better.

[Blackdog1]

Happy birthday!

I just wanted to say that there are online support groups available for depression and anxiety that may help you.

I've been attending sessions (via zoom) for the past 2 months at supportgroupscentral .com. They are either free or very low cost ($5).

I have gotten increasingly withdrawn and they are helping me socialize but very gently.

I was really feeling like my inner mechanical wheel had rusted shut and these groups are a lubricant to get me moving in life again.

There is a option to use/not use your video cam, which I really appreciate. I usually leave my cam off. It makes opening up easier for me, for some reason. You can also choose not to talk but just listen.

[Hidden in reply to Blackdog1]

Can you please tell me how to find these on line support groups? I am very interested as I can’t find any in my area. Thank you. ❤️

[Blackdog1 in reply to Hidden]

Just google supportgroupscentral

[Dolphin14]

Happy Birthday. 🎂🎂🎂

There's only one you. Take care of you ❤️

[kenster1]

hi and welcome to you hopefully you found some time to enjoy your birthday

[Kainan]

Hey. I get it. I used to feel that way too and I still do at times. I'm 28 and I still live with my parents. Most of the time it's all good and well, but there's still that part of me that wants to start a life of my own. I don't have any friends either; it's been hard to keep relationships when everyone moves away. But I try to join groups as much as I can in person and online, like this one. I don't feel like I've accomplished anything either in the past 10 years...hell, I couldn't even finish college. I do enjoy the work I do now, but I just think about all the years I've been tormented by anxiety and depression...all the time that's idlily gone by...all the stones left unturned, and it's left me wishing to go back and do better. You're not alone.

Happy Birthday!! Enjoy it. Treat yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Kainan]

I am 53 years old. I just want to tell all of the 20 somethings on here hang in there. Your generation has been through SO much! 911 was so traumatic and it began a feeling of fear never experienced in this country. My kids were 10 and 11 and I know it greatly affected them. There have been several ongoing wars ever since, a terrible economy, media over load and social injustice to name a few. Don’t give up hope. I understand why so many people are still living with their parents. When I was 18 you didn’t need a college education to find a decent job and rent was affordable. We still had clubs to go dancing and to be completely honest this whole reality TV and Facebook society has very negative affects on people. I recommend that you don’t rely on social media for your main interaction with people. I know we are using an on line site now but please join a support group. Know that I care and many others care about you as well. Love!!

[Kainan in reply to Hidden]

Hi SouthernGirl. Thank you very much for your insight and advice.

[Hidden in reply to Kainan]

I hate to preach. I wanted to tell you if you ever need to talk feel free to reach out.

[Kiltyman]

First of all let me day HAPPY BIRTHDAY!🎂 I feel your pain and want you to know that I do understand. I have had many times feeling ad you do. But this is not about me. It's about you. Although the future seems cloudy you must believe that the sun is there. But sometimes we allow our brain to deny us it's comfort. You are 29 years old. You do have a whole life ahead of you. It may not seem like that today or even tomorrow. But trust me it does get better. You are looking for help. That means you're not a quitter! We are all here to support you. Help is just a a text away. We don't judge. We are here to help.

[Hidden]

Can you get an EEG? Talk to your therapist about alternative therapies. EMDR. TMS. Neuro feedback.

[Bkh1888]

I’m really sorry to hear the pain that you are going through - Just remember you aren’t alone.

I would recommend reading a book from Louise Hay - You can heal your life.

It has worked wonders for me, stopped me being so critical of myself and really understand why I have been stuck in this negative way of thinking my whole life.

It’s totally changed my perspective on life and I’ve now learnt to love myself again.

I hope this book can give you inspiration like it has for me.

You’re doing brilliant! All the best in the future

[Tikirob]

Hi Igor and welcome aboard, thanks for sharing about your struggles and hope your birthday was good. Some people are diagnosed later in life and many people also don’t really start to follow there dreams and goals until much later in life so you are not behind by any means.

I feel for your situation, living with parents that can’t relate to your illness. I think on this blog you will find it people that are very understanding and hopefully that eases the lack of support you have been getting.

You are not a leaf floating in the wind you are a strong tree dealing with all the elements of life. Please give yourself some credit for being brave and dealing with a disability while getting chores done.