I can't function. What ifs

[No_Longer_Human]

Im crying. Im hungry and cold. It's dad's fault mom might get sick and die and i will be broke without her because he traumatized me too much to work. He's better paid now and not sending me money for uni now, why doesn't he send me money? Does his child need Gucci diapers or something? At 4yo. And the woman who birthed him 2 kids and called them after his mother and never dated another man even though they're divorced since 2018, he told me "you will just send her to a nursing home". You're not 20mf. And with what money? She will die before that. I have nightmares dad has more kids. I couldn't go to the supermarket to buy anything neither had money for the bus to go to the youth centre and therefore i haven't talked to real people for days. It's so cold and dark and lonely

[Alpakka123]

Hi sweetheart,

What's wrong? Talk to us.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Alpakka123]

Hi. I'm a terrible daughter. I can't calm down. I made her the villain when he ruined us. I will never recover and i will never have a nice life. The clock is ticking

[Alpakka123 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

You aren't a terrible daughter. You didn't make anybody anything because each person is responsible for their own choices. Each person is responsible for themselves.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Alpakka123]

Yeah. I needed to hear that

[noneveralone in reply to No_Longer_Human]

what you are experiencing are your unique true and real feelings. Assuming you live in UK,Please have a chat with Samaritans if you would just like to venting it out and access the self referral NHS service in your local area. You may find it helpful and please let us know what’s going on in your head and people in similar situation would be willing to listen and support you. Hang on in there Dear. Take care

[No_Longer_Human in reply to noneveralone]

Thank you. Unfortunately im not in the UK. Im in Bulgaria and it's night and i won't find help. My mind is doing backflips

[AsoingerbobTheGreat]

Your father is either blind to your feelings, or a monster. You shouldn't even be in such a state. You're strong for not only dealing with that, but letting yourself come out and tell us about this. I'm really sorry for you. Prayers to you. ❤️

[No_Longer_Human in reply to AsoingerbobTheGreat]

Thank you. Everyone else is telling me he isn't responsible for me. I can't answer myself why is he so cruel

[RS1974]

You shouldn't blame others but take responsibility for your own actions. Life is difficult you just put your head down and work

[No_Longer_Human in reply to RS1974]

I guess