Hard decisions while im not okay,no information and dangerous moves. Mom's gonna have a break and i wonder whether to flee while i still can

[Against_the_current]

I need to figure out what i will be doing after friday when she's getting days off work, i don't even know how many. I could go to my accommodation while i still have it but haven't paid the rent and don't have money. It would be nice because it would fit with my story that i haven't graduated yet. Bad part is that i have to ask dad for money and that he might "offer me a ride again" meaning "get your stuff, you're coming home". Well, i guess this has to happen. Im being a burden. I heard sis talk to him about her college. Also there's a half-sibling draining him. Who in their right mind would have more children when they're broke? He doesn't care im mentally ill, i have to either work or be mom's problem. Mom doesn't care I'm mentally ill she's treating me bad that i don't work and soon will want me too. I'm really playing with their patience. They be treating me like a ball "she's ur problem"-"she's your problem ". When at home, I'm mom's problem, when at uni dad's. And dad now says he will save up for sis.Mom's here and she will take a break this weekend and some days. I'm wondering whether to go to my accommodation to avoid conflicts with her but i haven't paid rent and electricity and i need money for food there and idk how to tell dad. Also scared he will take my stuff home and move me out of there because he's hot two other kids and i said im graduating at the end of the month. Well i guess he will move me back either way, at least this would cover my story (i lied my final exam didn't make me graduate and i needed more time so they don't make me work in this mental and physical state, i can't find a job but im searching). I still have this place but i just wanted more time to recover. My ex said that he's moving back to his country and im too broken to be alone in my accommodation, too broken to be with mom, too broken to work. Also im grieving my school and college years that i never had.

[gajh]

Going to your accommodation has never been a positive for you. There is nothing positive for you there. Please take care of yourself.

[SoporRose in reply to gajh]

gajh is right. Remember how ill, frightened, and panicked you were just a few days ago from being at your accommodation. Let your dad help you move out and give that place up.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

I will. Just trying to slack a few days off being with mom and sis 24/7. When this week ends sis' summer vacantion starts and mom will take a break off work till 10th july. Mom without work - she will just drink all day. Also i have to cover the alibi that im graduating in the beginning of july. I hate this place. I had gotten used to it and it was better, i had hard time adapting home but 10 days with mom sounds like trouble. I will leave my place no matter what, the thing is that i can go before i do

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I’m sorry things aren’t better at home. I hope you and your mom and sister have some good time together as well the difficult ones you foresee. We’re here for you.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you. I'm really worried about the times sis leaves for college and im left alone with mom

[SoporRose]

When will your sister leave for college?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

2 years

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

That’s a fair time. How long do you think you’ll be needing to stay with your mom?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

I don't know, im scared if it's till her death

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Are you expecting her to die soon? Does some part of you want to stay there that long?