Panic attack

[BeagleHeart]

Having regular panic attacks throughout the night, I think I manage maybe 3 1/2 to 4hrs of sleep before they occur. When I wake up all I can do is think about how desperately this would all stop. I got prescribed medication for generic anxiety disorder but having been on it for quite awhile now I don't think it's helping one bit. I have benzo meds as well but I'm worried about combining them and causing even more problems for myself. My anxiety never was like this, not in the least, I think maybe I've been traumatized by my experience having provided in home hospice care for my father until his passing, taking ownership of the family home, and being used/betrayed by my sibling during the estate process. Except for on the few good days I have it's very, very hard to concentrate on anything and I'm losing work becuase of it. I know a half dozen or so coping techniques but I don't have any idea what I should do when I awake like this.

[Hidden]

Something similar happened to me when my mom died just days before the pandemic lock down. My sister began an alcohol fueled rage and I had to cut off contact. I slept very little. Having a toke at bedtime helped until I ran out and all the dispensaries were closed. Over the counter sleep aids didn't help much. Seratonin helped a little.🪷

[BeagleHeart in reply to Hidden]

Sorry for your loss. My mother passed June of 2022 and my father in May 2023. I stepped up at my father's request and provided hospice care for him at the family home where I now reside. My seven year older brother went on a meth binge and tried secretely pilfering valuables. Dad left no will so I took my brother and myself to a lawyer to begin the process, he lied to the lawyer and was forced to sign representation over to me if we were to continue the process, I was dumbfounded he agreed to but then afterwards started making all kinds of demands, when it came to violating my duties as the representative I had, had enough and from there he threatened murder and went on to continously stalk and harass us with further threats. I learned from his eldest child he was using again and chose to go no contact. I had a therapist for the first year but it never got anywhere becuase of my reluctance to try meds. Lost work and insurance and had to go without help until just recently. I installed new security measures all across the property and even though nothing happened the abuse I suffered at his hands growing up was severe and exploded in my face in the form of very, very intense anxiety and panic attacks with a strong touch of paranoia. I think I let it go on for so long I may of formed a psychosis. Lorazapam seems to be the only thing that moderately helps. Five years ago I'd refuse even Tylenol if I felt the pain wasn't bad enough, today, I am begging for relief via medication, not so I can get back to how things were but simply be more functional and physically capable. Thank you for your comment.

[Hidden in reply to BeagleHeart]

Our childhood experiences "condition" us to react in certain ways during high stress moments. In a way, he is still controlling that little boy. Putting some distance between you is You taking back your power. You are not your brother's keeper. He is old enough to know better.

I hope he finds the strength to finally kick his habit. It's his journey. You have your own. Peace to you.🪷

[CatAndDogPaws]

I have this issue from not being able to breathe while I sleep. My tongue falls back. Could this be happening to you too? Have you had a sleep study?

[BeagleHeart in reply to CatAndDogPaws]

No, no sleep study. I'm fairly certain it's something from my past. Thank you for the suggestion, though. The best explanation is like being woke at random to extremely closeby and loud bang or boom.