"Family is Everything" and other holiday myths

[optimismrus]

"Family is Everything" is in our face all year, but no more than at thanksgiving and xmas. Sometimes it makes me "feel less" than because I'm not in my family's inner circle. Much of being on the outer circle has to do with choices I've made over a lifetime. And I'm not sorry. I took risks, some worked and some didn't. Overall, I chose me! And overall I strive to remember, "I can have my own xmas", "I can decorate my own way" and feel all the joy I can. 🥰

[Hidden]

Finding your path to happiness is what it is all about. I am divorced but I have family, parents and brother and his family. Not all the time on my side and have numerous arguments about boundaries. But I can see or wishing myself sometimes to go independent and live my own life. Do what is only best for me and not having to think for others. Just looking after myself and not using it on people who do not appreciate me or think I have worth. But this is my sad truth and even though I try making connections, I put in all effort and receive minimum back. I want my own life and it is what I dream of.

[Dolphin14]

optimismrus

I think family is who we choose when we are adults. Family doesn't have to be flesh and blood, it's people that enjoy each other and care for each other

Choosing you is fabulous! Putting yourself first is a priority. There is beauty and calmness to being your own person. Enjoy who you are.

Have fun decorating

🐬

[Agora1 in reply to Dolphin14]

Beautiful words and advice Dolphin14 xx

[Dolphin14 in reply to Agora1]

Agora

Thank you

That means so much coming from you.

I hope you are doing well

❤️🐬

[Gramas]

You do what’s best for you. It doesn’t matter what other people do, what the “norm” is, or what’s traditional or expected. Plan a day with all your favorite things in it and enjoy. A lot of us spend the holidays alone so you have your HU family here as well.

[marsbarr]

I hear ya loud and clear. I haven't spoken to my daughter and grandson in three years. Yes I miss them especially during the holidays but they are toxic. I have to do things their way. Smile at their hurtful words or attitude. One day after many years opportunity presented itself with a complete disregard for my feelings and I chose me

[optimismrus in reply to marsbarr]

Thanks for responding. We have to make ourselves happy. Enjoy your holidays!🥰

[Amysmom]

The holidays are so commercialised we see on tv happy people, families gathering others out buying tons of gifts all with happy smiles on their faces I call BS lol there are no perfect families some have no family. All I can say is you do you enjoy what you like doing . No shame or guilt allowed. We are who we are like us or don't . I discovered yrs and yrs ago with my own relatives that no matter how much I tried to please them it didn't matter so I let it all go and now its how I feel that matters cause well hell I am the one that has to live with myself LOL.

[Arymretep in reply to Amysmom]

As the saying goes, You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time

[SappyCappy]

I can relate. I've been disconnected from the family I grew up with for so long that I might actually be numb to that sort of messaging. Also, like you, it has a lot to do with self care & self respect ("I chose me"). Though what I do when I start feeling sentimental is think about the family I want to start one day, and how it would actually feel like a complete, loving unit and be the family "type" that actually makes sense to other people.