hello I'm new, my father has been referred to hospice. He has been dealing with prostate cancer for 5 years. I read back the medical notes and am shocked at his story. I am heavily involved with his care but it just sounds like someone else when I think about all he has been through. He still seems so strong strong to me.
i am struggling to keep it together in front of him. Has anyone gone through the same? How did you carry on? The grief is so heavy.
thanks.
Hi Ellie. I was also a main caregiver for my mom. It’s hard to watch them get sicker. My dad I see him so strong like you do yours. Now my dad has Alzheimer’s diagnosis just like my mom. I don’t know what makes things easier, maybe focusing on the present /time we have with them, focus on the smiles, the laughter, the love. I would like to be here for you whenever you need to talk,… that’s another thing, it’s good you opened up it’s healing to talk about it. Pm me any time.
Hi, i lost my dad suddenly a few years back. It was covid so we could not be with him. Couldnt even have a regular funeral. To this day i am not sure i really believe he is gone. It is very weird. My mom has needed increasing care ever since. She was diagnosed with alzheimers years back and now i think she is winding down. It is so hard to see. Everytime i think she may be getting an infection or she has a bad day, i freak out. I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. my anxiety cranks up. Really quite unpleasant. Not sure how i will get by without her. She mostly sleeps now, is quiet, doesnt like to eat much. I still get a smile out of her so she is still in there. She will answer questions, but with just a few words and not every time. She is the person i admire the most. Smart strong, selfless, sharp sense of humor, could be graceful and comfortable in any social situation. Even athletic. I wish i could be more like her. I owe her so much. She was ALWAYS there for the family. I could be having the most miserable day and still just seeing her can make me feel better. I feel for you in your situation. Losing a parent is so hard. I wish i could help you. The whole beleiving it and coming to grips with it is so hard and weird. It is just such a monumental thing. You are not alone.
Yes, I lost my Uncle last year. He was in hospice towards the end, and I was his caregiver at home. I did the same for my mother when she died from cancer 30 years ago. The grief really hit me after the funeral. I didn't do anything for a few months. Make sure you talk with someone you trust.
I'm so very sorry your going through this and sorry for your dad.... it's terrible to suffer so much and watch someone you love suffer..... I can only speak from my experience with a dear friend of mine whom I spent those long days with. Just remember.... they are still with you, and that is precious time.... so try to find some joy in that for now.... they will appreciate it too.
Hi Ellie, im so sorry to hear this , i was main carer also for my own dad who passed to secondary brain cancer only having his entire left lung removed Less than 4 months previously. There's many on here that understand what you are going through at present with dad ,it's hard and it's upsetting to say the least,
Main thing you need to do is please look after your own self as much as you can , we can tend to forget about ourselves, I know I did and I suffered really badly afterwards health wise .
I'm sending you a virtual ((( hug ) 🫂.
Thinking of you both at this difficult time.. Linda
Trigger warning: Flavors of grief 
Sadness
🐶Stuck Between Gratitude & Grief🎭
Help Needed
Am very Depressed 
