No Longer Like the Holidays

[sandies100]

Hi everyone, I’ve been here 6 years but this is my first post. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas I get depressed because I do not have any close family or friends. I never really liked being in the company of my family so my children and I never visit. I hate feeling like this. No where to go except out to eat or stay home. I rather not stay home because my neighbors always know we’re home and never any visitors. So we leave and go to the park until evening sometimes. What do you all do for the holidays when you don’t have family or friends?

[Galaxies1]

Hi. I relate to this. I found the most comforting holidays were the ones where I just accepted things as they were. And created the nicest cosiest few days doing things I wanted to eating whatever made me happy and not beating myself up. Just being kind to me. Crying if I want to. These days as I have a terminal/ chronic health condition I just mainly rest/ sleep and let it pass me by. But if you can make nice memories for yourself and be kind to you that's a good thing to do. Take care 🌷

[HaikuYou]

My daughter and I have always stayed home. Family is either gone to the other side or don't deserve a relationship with us.It's nice to just laze around enjoying the peace and our crazy cats. We cook whatever we want, usually beef burgundy.

Don't even consider the neighbors. It's none of their business. 🥳

[fauxartist]

Most of my family are half a globe away now, so I don't do holidays anymore, only with my partner and my cat....that suits me. No mishegoss...

[Shnookie in reply to fauxartist]

You crack me up 😂! Better tell them that mishegoss is craziness in Yiddish. Well guys as some of you might know I’m a concierge/receptionist at a senior living community. I’ll be working on Thanksgiving. It’s OK. I’ll be earning double time. And also, my family is spread out. It’s good for me to be around the residents, caregivers and coworkers.

[fauxartist in reply to Shnookie]

Gotta love the extra cash.... I loved working holidays in the power plant.... if I worked a graveyard shift...it was triple dough ray me.....yeah baby.... I miss those paychecks. But I'm happy doing my thing now really....I'm glad your making the day a good one my tribal sista.

[Arymretep]

Life if what you make it, I count my blessings that we have a roof over our heads and plenty to eat which is more than some people have, why would you go to to park all day just because of your neighbours , that’s so sad. Life is too short ,make the most of the Holidays with you and your children , and make memories that they will never forget

[casablancalover14]

Make this a nice holiday for you and your kids. You are special, and deserve the best. Do what you want, eat whenever you feel like it, and dance like no one's watching!😄😄

[MaggieSylvie]

Nothing. I have no siblings, no children. Holidays are the same as any other day, so long as I have enough food to last as long as it takes.

[brendahol]

such good and helpful comments. I love what HaikuYou said about don’t mind the neighbors it is none of their business. So true! I too have worried about what the neighbors will think but I would close all the blinds and stay in one room so no one would know I was home.

Everyone is so right, let’s all use the day as a special treat for ourselves. Sending everyone a big hug❤️

[Zhangliqun]

Go over to the church and make some new friends...

[DJB74]

I completely feel you. It has been a very,very hard year. Abandonment on my eldest daughter's behalf over two kids we adopted that were way toxic and beyond help, resisted all of our attempts, anyways on top of that mynewly turned 16 year old is in juvenile detention. My 84 year old Father's body and mind are rapidly deteriorating. Financial stress, things breaking left and right, family health concerns increasing. With that being said, I am looking at the " holidays" with my own intentions in contrast to what society says. Thanksgiving is nature day to me. Typically Fall is at it's peak. Brisket air, falling leaves, trees of varying color and a " serenity's nature that is there for the taking. Informal meditation time, no deadlines or even dictated meals. Like other people have previously mentioned we go with the flow of the day. Lasagna, chili, whatever. This year it will be just myself, wife 13 year old son and I will bring my Dad over sometime. Thanksgiving can and should be everyday or any day not just the typically mandated4th Thursday in November. A once had a man tell me it's who is around the table not What's on it. Anyways as far as Christmas is concerned non of us are Christians, we are more humanist, pagan and a bit witchy. Lol. Anyways I have always hated the fact that this is mandated " the joyous" time of year. Not for many, people for many various reasons. When I was growing up my Dad hated Christmas( both of his parents, died in December about 3 years a part. Even though he didn't go to my maternal grandparents home on Christmas Eve, ( which always bothered me). My Dad and Mom took out a loan every year to make sure we all had what we WANTED. My Dad gathered and sold pecans every fall and even had money taken from his check every week into his bank'sChristmas club account. Christmas has become centered on greed or trying to ease our guilt from our personal greedy giving a nominal gift from a place we would never shop for our own family or send a shoebox with Dollar tree items in it to a foreign country. For me it is a "seeing" holiday. Eyes wide open for the non joyous for me to invest in their lives, maybe financially, maybe becoming a friend, maybe just truly listen and attempt to understand. My favorite, " Christmas" song, is do they know it's Christmas and Happy XMas (War is Over). So the day means different things to different people. To a lot of people it's just another day. What you make it, is up to you. Which your meaning will be dictated by your worldview. For me I deal solely in REALITY. I currently hold to an existentialism view of the world. The crux of it is life sucks and will HOWEVER you control YOUR PURPOSE. That's to totally embrace your passions. Mine is to help Humanity. New Year's, I don't drink or like huge crowds. So again I personally reflect on things I need to improve on but mostly look inward towards my mental health and attitudes. So be you. The days are yours, especially for SELF CARE. Embrace them your own way

[ellie2211]

hi I also feel this way, I don't relate to my family. It is still best to preserve your sanity sometimes. Maybe take a trip for those 2 days. A cozy cabin getaway with your children

[Midori]

Well, we don't have Thanksgiving in UK, so it's the long wait between Halloween and Christmas for me.

I don't bother with Christmas much, especially as my son is diabetic and can't partake in the nice things. Neither of us would celebrate it as we aren't believers.We tend to keep our heads down and make the most of it with the movies on TV.

Cheers, Midori