With the holidays coming up I am having a rough time. My favorite holiday has always been Thanksgiving but I have to go to my mother in laws for dinner. Not a great place to be for me. Surrounded by toxic people and am the object of many cruel comments. Also have to go there for dinner on Christmas Eve. Then I will be alone Christmas Day since my husband and children have to work. On New Year's Eve my best friend has hosted a potluck dinner for over twenty years. She has been in the hospital since July 15th, 9 surgeries so far and little chance she'll be out of the hospital and no way dinner will happen this year. Would welcome any suggestions to help me get through the holidays. Skipping dinners at my MIL's aren't an option. I have tried that in the past and upset my husband and children. Also if I don't go I don't eat. If I don't go she refuses to let anyone bring me a plate of leftovers.
The Holidays: With the holidays coming... - Anxiety and Depre...
The Holidays
Stuff the turkey with Xanax...? 
Could you listen to music w ear phones..?
Text a good friend while you are there...?
Book?
Young kids to hang out w?
I try to find somethings to politely distract me and limit my interactions w ppl I don’t really want to engage with.
I’ve been known to room hop when a room gets filled w too many ppl.
If your friend doesn’t have dietary restrictions, maybe you can bring the holiday dinner to her?
Regarding Christmas, could you make it a self care day? Do a hobby you love?
Anyone you know of in your community that will also be alone for Christmas...?
Elderly home? Older ppl often don’t have family visit at that time...?
I wish I could stuff the turkey with Xanax lol. My friend can't eat at all right now. Is being fed through a tube. Sadly earphones and phones are banned at my MIL's during holidays. No small kids and my neice and nephew don't call me "Aunt Rose" but have to call my husband "Uncle Joe". Their mother taught them this. Best I can do might be to keep quiet and sip some wine. Not supposed to with my meds but a little might help. Also trying to get my children here for brunch on the day after Christmas or New Year's day. One is a nurse, the other a firefighter/paramedic so their work schedules are crazy. Don't know why this is upsetting me so much this year. Thank you for the suggestions. Perhaps I can slip a book in my purse.
You've had some good suggestions. I really sympathise with having to go to your husband's family if unkind remarks are made.
Like you said a glass of wine or two should help.
When you are on your own on Christmas day perhaps you could enjoy all your television choices and prepare in advance what you can of the meal for when your children can come.
What valuable jobs they have, you must be very proud of them.
Really hope your friend is better soon, it sounds as if she has had a very tough time.
Best wishes.
Kim
Next year I’m making Xanax Stuffing.
I’d go and do the ‘Smile and Nod’. Everything that’s said you just smile and nod. (I think I’m getting a cold. My ears are clogged. My throat is sore. My kids are great.) I feel like a bobble head doll and I won’t tell you the snarky sarcastic things that go through my brain as I dull-eyed nod at everything. Who cares. We all know the score. Call it medicine head. Yeah I’ll lie for my kids sake. You betcha.
Great idea. Not sure I can manage smiling much but I can definitely nod.
You can do this. You’ve done tougher stuff. Sorry about your cold over the holidays. 😷
True. I have done harder things. I know I'll get through it just wish I didn't have to. My in laws are so cruel they've left my therapist speechless when I tell her things they do and say. Worst of all my husband told me he holds me to a higher standard then them. I think my biggest fear is I have no idea what they will say or do.
That’s my mother. She smacked me in the mouth in public when I was 50. I like to remind myself that I’m not responsible for her bad behavior. It’s a mantra.
WOW I would have been in big trouble for smacking her back.
I thought of calling the police and pressing charges but I didn’t. However my family finally saw the mask drop. Now they know how she really treats me. She can’t keep up the show anymore.
Good for you.
Regardless I won't react. Have learned they enjoy hurting me so I don't want to give them the satisfaction.
I understand toxic family I have one I just list my best friend a year ago and i dont gave friends that are around anymore so i spend The holidays alone its very hard and i dont know how at 47 to make friends so you have my understanding and support im sorry for your friend positive thoughts going her way
Ugh..... that sounds awful..
Ive been going through this similarity last few years. Both my fiancè and my family are pieces of work. This year we decided to stay home for the holiday season.. and only visit with others if we feel like it. Weve been through ALOT in the last couple months and we need to set clear boundries before marriage. I dont have time for toxic people anymore. I want to enjoy my life.
Hello Mrspjsmom,
Am sorry to hear about your friends’ condition. Praying that she feels better soon. Its rather unfortunate you have been going through all this with your in-laws. Just us you have accommodated them all this while I guess you will do the same this holiday that you have to be around them. Just enjoy your drink and the food. During the time that you are going to be alone you can try to cook for yourself a food you haven’t eaten in a while or haven’t made for yourself and enjoy it. Just give yourself a treat. Serve yourself like you are expecting a special guest and enjoy it. Check this out and I think you might find it helpful. bit.ly/32RTv6P.
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