First Post

[CloverBear95]

This is hard for me, just talking about my anxieties make them feel real and worse but I feel like its time I reach out to people who understand me. I have been diagnosed with multiple different things, been through my horrible fair share of trauma. Every 6 months I hyperfixate on some very troubling thought and it drives me into a hole. This time I got COVID I completely exhausted and dehydrated my body and I had some dizziness. Went to the hospital and they said it was dehydration. I havent felt it since but man have I completely lost it. One of my worst fears is getting vertigo, I had it ONCE when they put water in my ear and that was it and that was 10 years ago. I usually never think about it but now that this happened it sent me down a googling spiral. I read some horrible stories of vertigo and I have gotten myself SO worked up and my mind racing that all these horrible health things are going to happen to me that I stopped eating for 3 weeks and I was OVER hydrating; now I am leveling out with that and forcing myself to be mindful about that but every morning I wake up with this horrible anxiety, its like Im bracing myself for what can happen today and my mind is RACING with all the bad things that could happen. My body is completely worn out from all this worrying to the point now Im worried Im going to die from the stress of the anxiety and the crying. I cant really do anything Im so hyperfixated on the thoughts and anxiety. I cant work I cant clean my family and my home is suffering. How do you get out of this vicious cycle. Yes I have a therapist and I see her twice a week but I always feel like there is a quick fix to this but there never is. I know I have been through this before but when Im in it it feels SO intense like it will never ever get better that Ill feel horrible forever. The holidays are coming up and I was SO excited for them and now Im so overwhelmed and scared I wont be able to enjoy them, I can barely enjoy every day living how can I do all the fun things that surround the holidays. Medications dont work for me, they gave my hydroxyzine but I dont want to be tired constantly.

[DontJudge]

I really hope you get through this 🫶

[Redtennis128]

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time with all of this! I've been in similar places and know it is so hard to deal with! I'm glad you are seeing a therapist frequently! Does she specialize in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)? I've been told and have learned that CBT in combination with medication has the best recovery record. The CBT portion is so important and yet can be difficult to do. I associate CBT with "avoidance is my enemy". With help from your therapist, you may be able to push through the fears and do the things you have in the past. The behavior change I'm talking about usually leads to reduced anxiety over time. Again, i know it is very difficult but can be is so helpful!

I wish you all the best and hope this helps some. Feel free to let me know if you have questions.