This is a bit of a topic thats been really interesting to me recently, ive always been really conservative, cautious around money, but i just thought that it was because i wasnt earning it myself as a teenager, but im starting to realize that even now when im working and saving up, i still feel cheap and unable to spend on the things i want, im not rich obviously, but i can definitely spend more than am i right now, and i feel this way even for cheaper things, i do calculations, and comparisons kinda like an OCD type overthinking, it is so weird, i find myself not really allowing myself to enjoy things and be happy, or perhaps i feel unworthy of spending things on myself, because i always talk myself out of buying things or postpone them until the want goes away, and as spending on others feels easier somehow.
I never really allowed my parents to spend alot on me, i would rarely ask for things and i had this grownup mentality even as a kid that some things are not essential why buy them? not sure if it stems from me not wanting to feel like a burden, or a strain on anyone, but as long as i can remember, i always had this urge to save up, and also encourage thise around me not to splurge on me or themselves,
Did anyone ever feel this way and can relate, if so what did yall say to yourselves in order to feel better, i have been trying to tell myself, you only live once, just go for it, but its so difficult to actually initiate a process of going somewhere and handing out that debit card.
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Kevin160
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Habits like that are hard to break, but why assume it's a bad habit and cause yourself anxiety? I can relate. But when there's someone you really care about you won't think twice. You won't ''overthink''; you'll be glad to spend your last dollar.
I personally think those who throw money around like nothing should think twice. Saving some cash for a rainy day is wise.
On the other hand, Kevin, if you need something, don't deprive yourself of it. I think you have shown yourself to be a sweet and sensitive young man AND worthy. No doubt about that.
It definitely is hard to break, i constantly feel unworthy of in no need of something, maybe its because im preparing for the worse as they say save up for a rainy day, but it kind of developed into this fear or concern when handling money, ill try my best hopefully it goes away soon. ❤️❤️
Awh thank you ❤️, It is weird, most people around me splurge like crazy, and i expected that to happen to me when i started earning money thinking thats why i wasnt spending before, but even after i started making enough money to buy the things i would see online, or at a store crossing the street etc.. i found myself really struggling with actually forcing myself to go, which is odd because i am an extremely impatient person. I definitely get it from my dad, but honestly i dont want to be like him, in alot of ways, but for the sake of this topic, i dont want to be like him handling money, he is beyond cheap even though he became really successful, like if you ever watched the show “the world's biggest cheapskates” thats what it looks like, i want to not have this voice in my head whenever i want to spend money that says “no, you could save it up”
I am exactly the same Kevin. It takes me weeks to buy anything more than £30 . I have to compare prices everywhere to make sure I am getting the best price, it’s so stupid, anxiety makes me be cautious with money and then I make myself more anxious by worrying about getting the best price. I also am not short of money. I am trying to work outa strategy by allowing myself money for frivolous spends ..coffee shop trips, nice bottle wine etc and put that allowance in an envelope each week. That is removed from my bank account so in essence it’s already gone so I might as well spend it. What I need to do next is start another envelope or separate account for bigger items and put an amount in each month. I am not mean in any other way, will always be first to buy drinks out, buying treats for my adult children all the time but spend it on myself and that’s the problem.
Yes i feel the same, i am always crunching numbers because i know this money could be better used somewhere else, or saved up for a rainy day, but its excessive, and i dont want to be too safe, or too boring, i want to enjoy what i eanred, but its hard to sometimes.
Hello Kevin, you might look closely at money and your family of origin and what you absorbed consciously and subconsciously from them and how it impacted your beliefs about money, lack of, etc... We are impacted and absorb so much when we are very young that later on drives us as adults that we are unaware of until we start to deal with it.
That is true, we absorb so much subconsciously, where alot of things are just engraved in my brain, especially growing up, im trying to shake off some of them quite frankly, a balance is the best way
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xx
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