Depression and Anxiety

[InMyHouse]

Hi. I just joined the community and honestly, I both have nothing to say and so much to say that I don't even know where to begin. Right now, I guess I want to talk about my depression and anxiety.

I've had anxiety for most likely 8 years now but got diagnosed with GAD around 4 years ago. I did therapy back then and I healed and felt amazing for 2 years. A few months ago, I went to study abroad in Japan and I had a lot of fun for the first semester. I thought it was going to be an amazing experience that I can look back on with fondness and happiness. However, my second semester didn't go as planned. Slowly I sank into a state of anxiety and depression because of difficult classes and not having a support system that I could always go to. In June, the night before a midterm, I completely broke and had the worst depression and anxiety attack of my life that lasted for a week. I felt like I couldn't do anything and it would last forever. But then I got better. But it came back. And then I went home, withdrew from my study abroad semester, and took time to heal at home. But it came back again. And then it got better. And then it came back, went away, and came back again. It was less intense than usual because my medicine and the routine I had which included walking and eating better helped, but the past 2 days it's been horrible again. I've gradually stopped walking and eating better because of my laziness and the sluggishness I felt because of my depression. I'm getting therapy, but I feel like for the most part, I'm not getting much better.

Another thing that's been bothering me is whether I even have the right to call this depression. I have an amazing support system now which includes friends and family and I'm fortunate enough to not worry about abuse, money, or human connection. I feel so privileged and like I don't have the right to be depressed and anxious because of it.

I guess I'm here to ask: will my depression ever get better? Is there hope for me to go back to being "normal" again? Will I be able to live my life happily? Will I survive? Do I even have depression? Do I have the right to be depressed?

[secrets22]

It can and does get better, but depression is not ever far from the surface, certain things can trigger it but you have to learn how to manage it by not letting it become overwhelming. But you say you have a wonderful support system, consider yourself lucky because many of us have no one.

[blackcat64013]

Hi, Depression and Anxiety are disorders which can occur together. One or the other is usually takes control of our life while the other lurks in the background.

Mental health issues can affect anybody at any time. There is nothing to feel guilty about.

As Secrets said, make the most of your support team to ease your struggles. 🐈‍⬛

[Agora1]

Hi and Welcome InMyHouse...I've always been very careful as to what labels I

give myself. I've never used the term "mental illness" for myself. Had I done that,

I might of thought of life in a mental institution was the answer. I also never used

the word "depressed"....Sad at times but that's normal when struggling with Anxiety

and Agoraphobia. I always thought of these emotions and feelings as a part of being

human. Our body is meant to keep us safe and sometimes our mind overreacts to the

signal we're given. It's not to say that Depression doesn't exist because it does. True

depression being a chemical imbalance in the brain which we can't ignore.

It's like having a headache and labeling them Migraines. All headaches are not of that

strength and pain. When we label ourselves, we tend to go into an anticipation of when

it may happen again. And then our lives revolve around that label.

The same in many ways regarding Anxiety. The body doesn't know the difference

between happy excitement and stressful excitement. The feelings can be the same

but the body relates to it's cause and effect.

I normally don't touch the posts with depression because that is something only

your therapist or doctor can address. However, because your post gave a little doubt

that you may not be depressed, I thought I would put in my thoughts on this.

The answers to all your questions is that there is a big probability that all these issues

will subside and you will go on to having a normal life. Believe in that. Work on that

part of you as not being mentally ill but going through a difficult young person's emotions

right now. This is Life. live it to the fullest. Don't regret or focus on the sad side of life

but tell yourself each and every day that you CAN and you WILL become who you were

meant to be. xx

[ctdkm]

Hi InMyHouse, I'm new to this group too. First of all I want to say hi. I would say you definitely have the right to be depressed. I've been able to struggle out of depression before, with the help of a therapist and support group. So I believe there is a lot of hope for you. You are bravely meeting episodes of depression head-on. Good for you! I believe your courage is going to help you a lot.

I'm glad you have support around you, a lot of people have to plunge in without it. That's where I'm at now. I think it's best to do what you can at each step and be proud of that. Reaching out to others and sharing in a safe community might help to see issues more objectively. Everything takes a lot of time. That's the hardest part in my opinion. You want to be well, shuck off the problems, but there are underlying issues from a long way back in life and they don't turn around right away. You cut down this monster bit by bit, that is my take.