Lonliness

[snipergrip]

I am a single unmarried boy. I have 2 conditions. 1st I feel very lonely and 2nd in which i get affected a lot by the tiniest things said by girls whom i like or want. Even if those were not intended as insult or anything negative but I want them to be mindful of their each and every word just like I am. Basically I am super sensitive.

I only feel comfortable to share my emotions with girls of age similar or younger to me. Whether they are my crushes or friends or cousins. Not with boys.

Now I have 2 major problems

1) Right now i do have those girls whom i can talk to but eventually they will get in relationships/hookups/marriages and then wont be as close to me as they are now. So i am scared how will i handle myself alone in future.

2) Even now when something happens which indicates that they don't like me as much as i like them or that they dont take as much efforts for me as i take for them, I get very anxious and depressed because of those very people who are close to me at the moment. Looks like no matter how much i do for them, it doesnt matter at all. Nobody never loves me in any way. Whether they are my romantic interests or just friends or cousins, I get no form of love whatsoever. They all do talk to me in a decent manner usually but never in an enthusiastic manner.

Because of all this axiety and depression sometimes I miss important work or classes. Only possible solutions are (A) either some girl who is kind and gentle and loving to me. But that doesnt seem possible here. So the next best thing is (B) I want to know how to remove this mental dependency on others, how to be emotionally stable.

[hypercat54]

I presume you are at least 18 in which case you aren't a boy but a man.

[LoveforAll41]

Hi snipergrip, I am sorry that you are feeling lonely. It is a very hard emotion, and I am sorry that it is affecting your life in this way. Are you in therapy?

I think the only real way is for you to take care of yourself. I used to hate the idea of loving yourself first, but now I have had to embrace it. At the very least have some compassion for yourself and understand and validate your hard emotions. Your worth is independent of having a companion or being in a relationship.

I find that if you want a relationship very very early on to being introduced you need to ask this person on a date. They will know your intentions and you can get some one on one time to get to know them. Even if you get turned down I think you will have done them a favor and in some degree boosted their self-esteem. I am a big fan of "Feeling Great" by Dr David Burns. He helps work through all sorts of tough emotions and change our distorted thoughts. I wish you luck. I don't think it is impossible to find a woman who is kind and gentle, but you will want some skills or charm or reliability or some sort of traits that make you desirable. These are not unattainable and we can always work on them. You also probably have some of these traits. Peace ☮️