Avoiding Reality

[Em_001]

Hello, I would like some of your opinion and advice on this. So this has been going for more than 2 years where i find myself constantly avoiding reality as in study, work, friends etc. At first I didn't think much of it as I thought being an introvert could justify that but something happened recently that make me realize I would lose myself and my life this way if this keeps going on. I just missed a major event of my life that i would never get to experience again because I wasn't attentive enough and I hate that small part of me that just don't care. I haven't talk to any of friends for more than 6 months and constantly find myself trying to avoid replying them and it just makes me so anxious. I just hate being like this knowing I have potential to be much more. I just don't know what to do at this point and I feel really helpless.

[Dolphin14]

Em_001

This sounds like more than being an introvert.

When we lose interest it's a sign of depression.

Have you talked to anyone about this?

🐬

[Em_001 in reply to Dolphin14]

No I can't really talk about it with anyone. I have a small group of friends plus they struggle with their own issues and I haven't really been there for them so I just don't think it is right for me to expect them to hear me out.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Em_001]

We are here to listen

[DangLifeisHell]

I feel your struggle and feel the same about not caring for anything. It’s been a struggle to find some spark even when I travel or go out it’s just too much. The only thing I look forward to is going to sleep. I’ve worked so hard with getting my masters and working for 10 years with special needs. I burnt myself out and lost myself. I took 8 months off to take care of myself, egh not really. I couldn’t find anything else worth doing and felt it was my duty to return. But this time I am only working part time. I dislike it now and not sure how I did it before. I feel hopeless and wishing/waiting to find hope at the end of the tunnel. Rather then ongoing suffering that I have to wait to die and continue this hard life.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Sorry that I don’t have any advice but just know you’re not alone.

[Em_001 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Hey no need to apologise. Although I know there are people who suffers from same problem as me, it's just hard not to feel alone in the environment that says otherwise. I'm also on break after graduation hoping it would help me figure out myself although it's not quite working and just make me feel even worse and hopeless. So I appreciate you sharing your side of experience.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Em_001]

Same the current environment I am in is far far away from my family and friends. But they also don’t understand, so I withhold a lot and fake everything is fine. I have my husband but he is not one I can express myself to. I just try to take things small now and be grateful for the little things such as being on break. Going for walks with my dogs. Getting Vitamin D for a little while smiling at the sun. Try to find something that makes me laugh. A nice hot shower. A puzzle for distractions. We are here and at least trying is the best we can do.