What do I do?

[EricJones]

How do Ignore my inner critic telling me I should stay away from people and go and hang with people anyways? I'm lost and don't know how to deal with this issue. I get so reserved and complacent in comfort that I don't go and challenge my beliefs or the situations that probably aren't that scary to begin with.

[Goodbyemeowser]

It’s hard not to follow that inner sense of perceived danger. I’ve had weeks where it’s hard to go inside a store, let alone have a meaningful friendly interaction. My advice would be to start small and plan for yourself an out if things get overwhelming. Maybe an in-person support group or an exercise class?

[EricJones in reply to Goodbyemeowser]

Is it alright if I have flinching body movements around people?

[Vonus5591]

If they nice to you talk more but if they don't engage then walk away. Be assertive and set boundaries, only polite conversation will do.

[EricJones in reply to Vonus5591]

So, most conversations I have will be polite or should be?

[Vonus5591 in reply to EricJones]

When you are getting to know person

[EricJones in reply to Vonus5591]

So, it's expected that others are polite to you and you be polite back?

[jolinn]

Eric,

You sound like a thoughtful person. It is hard to socialize sometimes, but the most important thing for you to know is to try to not judge yourself. You have a right to live happily in this world as much as anyone else does. If anyone else judges you harshly, then they do not matter, and are not healthy for you to be around. Please know that none of us are perfect and you are not expected to be, and don't expect yourself to be. I am sure you are a lovely, interesting, worthy person who can offer a lot to others.

[EricJones in reply to jolinn]

Thanks, a lot. I really appreciate that. What do you recommend me do about my own body movements and being afraid that others will judge it?

[jolinn in reply to EricJones]

Are these tics? Could you explain them a little more? Do you have any control of them, and what do they look like? You sound very uncomfortable with them.

[EricJones in reply to jolinn]

No, they're not tics. They're involuntary movements. In response to someone else's movements.

[jolinn in reply to EricJones]

Interesting. I am wondering if you ever got them checked out by a doctor, and if there is any way to control them if that is what you desire?

[jolinn in reply to jolinn]

Also, I hope you are feeling well today.

[EricJones in reply to jolinn]

Thanks, you as well. I don't think these responses need medical attention. They are just a reaction I get when I'm unprepared to respond to someone.

[worthytobeloved in reply to jolinn]

What a lovely reply!

[EricJones in reply to worthytobeloved]

Of course!

[EricJones in reply to worthytobeloved]

Whoops haha, sorry I thought you were talking to me lol.

[designguy]

From my experience one of the most helpful things for my healing has been learning to never believe my anxious thoughts. The reality is that they were designed to protect you in a misguided way but as an adult you no longer need that kind of protection. Thoughts come and go through our brain all the time but it doesn't mean we have to believe them or even pay attention to them. You might check out the youtube of Byron Katie and her approach called The Work and learn how to question your thinking.

[worthytobeloved in reply to designguy]

As usual, such helpful advice - thank you!

[Beevee in reply to designguy]

...and to feel that fear and do it anyway.

[EricJones]

Thanks

[Bamafan1]

Hey ! First...there are several thoughts that immediately I had in reading this. I will answer with the first feeling I got...not knowing what your beliefs are...but i immediately thought...it could be God telling you to stay away from certain people or places . I've worked hard on deciphering the Holy Spirits promoting over my own.

If it's getting out of the house in general that has you feeling like a hostage with fear, etc it's definitely the enemy wanting you to feel that way knowing that isolated and alone we're more vulnerable to the lies he tells and negativity. I have dealt with this for 2 years now ....canceling plans to the point where i quit getting asked to do stuff. The more I did it , the bigger of an issue it became . I finally prayed and got out for the first time last week and SOOOO glad I did. We're designed to be social creatures and it's very important to be a part of something. I admire your strength to talk about it ....it shows you have fight and strength in you that says " get behind me satan"... I have places to be !! Lol

[Midori]

Hi Eric,

Sometimes you have to tell your inner critic to take a hike; When mine used to poke it's nose in my business I would get angry with it and cuss it out; using the foulest words I could think of and tell it to go learn about Reproduction and Travel. It will always back down.

Have you heard of 'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway? It's a very good book if you can still get hold of it. Can't remember the author, unfortunately.

Cheers, Midori

[JenniferBut in reply to Midori]

Gosh that's an oldie but a good one that book! I loved it. It's all in the name , says it all!