What do I do???

[Brandysgirl]

I feel like everything is falling apart right in front of me and I cant do anything to stop it or slow it down. I just feel like wherever I go no matter what I do or dont do I am just going to be judged because of my cuts, I see and hear people talking about them behind my back. I get that they think its different or weird but I cant help it I am not going to hide it anymore because it is apart of me, all my scars and my past are apart of me and who I am no matter how much I dont like it. I have been hiding for years and now that I have told my parents and doctor about my depression people have been actually trying to help me but I also feel like a burden. All my life my parents and family have told me that I need to just stop being so dramatic about everything but really they just dont realize how much everything I have gone through messed me up emotionally, physically, and mentally.

[hypercat54]

Well good for you deciding you aren't going to hide them any more, but the price you pay is to have others notice them and they will talk. Many will feel sorry for you too which is even worse. You might find others did the same when young or have family/friends who have so hopefully they will understand.

To be honest if you don't want people to talk you have to hide them - that is the painful reality.

The only other way to tackle it is to open up the subject with those who have noticed so you get in first. This has the advantage of making you in control of the conversations and you might have some interesting chats with people too. Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck. x

[Hidden]

i would ignore the others..keep moving forward ..your on the right track...

[kateba]

It's good that you don't hide it anymore. I did that for years and it just keeps building up inside. I found that once it came out what I was going through so many people came to me and said they had similar problems. It's a lot more common than you think. You said you told your doctor, I assume your family doctor? I advise you to seek professional help with a psychologist. They are trained to help with problems like you have. You are not a burden, you have a real problem, don't let anyone make you feel like you're a burden.

[Kat63]

You aren’t just being dramatic. You have an illness; it’s a legitimate illness, and you need help.

That said - being open about your illness will make life easier in some ways, but harder in others. I guess you have to decide what’s harder: trying to hide your problems, or dealing with the reactions of ignorant people when you stop.

[Vjeko in reply to Kat63]

Totally agree, i have found people considering me "being dramatic" humiliating and disrespectful i my worst depressions. It's like telling someone with broken leg that he should just get together and run! Depression is illness, that needs time to be heeld. It takes time, but it is possible.

[Meowmeows2 in reply to Vjeko]

So many people don't understand depression. I think you truly have to suffer from it to understand. I wish I could find a doctor that has been through it and truly understands the feeling

[Vjeko in reply to Meowmeows2]

Wish you good luck in finding one who is respectful at least. So many of them do more harm then good because they have never been there and don't truly understand that it is another way of existing in wich usual laws of thinking or behaving are not aplayable at all. So they come up with premise that "you are doing it to yourself" or "trying to atract attention with such behavior", or similar things that make you to feel more guilty for having depressoon. I have been there many times, and it hurted me a lot.

[Vjeko]

I wish you best of luck in recovery. You cannot see now, because of the state you are in, that what other think of you or judge you is none of your bussines, and is not important at all. But as things will go better, you be caring more about what yourself and what you want.