weaning off Xanax

[Darkangst]

this is the 2nd time I would be taking Xanax. I just off gabapentin and then shortly after that I got hit by a pinched nerve injury in my neck. It was so painful I needed to calm down. Talked to my shrink and he okayed the Xanax, which in and of itself makes me anxious right now because it causes blurry vision. So now I’m anxious almost all day long. I am currently on 1.25 mg dose and trying to wean off it like I did before but this time it seems I’m having more trouble with my vision. I just want to die sometimes. I can’t take more Xanax because I’m tapering but at the same time I get super anxious.

I catastrophize. I feel as if this will never end and that I’ll have blurriness forever—contrary to the fact that I was ok last time I weaned off it. It’s frankly freaking me out. My pulse is always high. And I can’t get this circular thoughts out of my head. I’m a mess and having suicidal ideation a lot. That it would end my suffering.

I guess I am writing this if anyone has had similar experience? And if you have any insight into how I could control catastrophizing. Mostly in the midst of a bad anxiety attack I can’t seem to do breathing exercises. Mostly they don’t help—but then again I have never really given them a chance. So here I am. New to ADAA. This is my first post.

Help!!!!! I’m open to suggestions

thank you

[Stippler]

Hi Darkangst, welcome to the group. I used to take clonazepam which is very similar to Xanax. Getting off clonazepam was very difficult but, even though my anxiety is bad, it is worth it because the benzo tranquilizers made my depression and anxiety far worse. Often I just have to tell myself I am going to be anxious for a while, and not be so hard on myself for feeling bad. In short, I often just have to give myself permission to be anxious, without keeping score. Sometimes I have to be assertive and just tell people I am having a rough day, and often they understand. Sometimes sharing that helps in itself. But it is still uncomfortable. My doctor gives me propranolol for PTSD and it helps with the adrenaline part of my anxiety. Another good medication you might ask a doctor about is Vistaril. I share all of this in hopes that it helps you. You are in my thoughts. 🙏🙏🙏

[Darkangst in reply to Stippler]

Hi Stippler

Thank you so much for sharing and understanding what I’m going through. I hope to continue our conversations. What does vistaril address? Does it help with anxiety? And does proponol help? I am afraid my anxiety is my undoing. I wish I could just wave it off. My provider wanted to start me on Lexapro. I had a bad experience with an SSRI and Xanax together—again the vision problem. I’m so desperate right now I can’t think I can’t make art. I just sit in front of the TV, when before I worked out over an hour 6 days a week. I also painted. I’m someone else right now. My vision was fine for a week after getting off gaba for good. Then the neck injury which made me anxious. It’s a cruel situation and I often feel sorry for myself. So it looks like it will be another 6 weeks to totally wean off Xanax. My husband is helping this time. Meanwhile I catastrophize and think my vision will never get better, when it is apparent it’s because of the drugs. Btw i had a MRI and CT scan and had my eyes checked with a battery of tests by a ophthalmologist and they found nothing wrong with both my eyes structurally or my brain. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

[Stippler in reply to Darkangst]

I believe Vistaril is an antihistamine but it is also good for some anxiety. I have heard that propranolol is a beta blocker, often prescribed for blood pressure. But it is also sometimes used for PTSD. You might ask your doctor about them. I have a lot of health anxiety myself. For me, it's the intense fear of kidney stones. Every time I have a twinge in my torso I worry it's kidney stones. I also have a history of bowel obstruction which always worries me too. Anyway, anxiety is a cruel beast. I hope you find as much comfort here on the group as I have. Often I have difficulty communicating when I am anxious. Lots of times I am "happy-go-lucky" when inside I am really upset or worried. Often I am not real sure what is bothering me and my first tendency is to be ashamed of it. In a lot of ways my artwork is my way of distracting myself - it gives me something to focus on rather than only thinking of what worries me. I hope that you can find some comfort in sharing here. I have met some really cool caring people here.

[Pizzaisthebestfood in reply to Darkangst]

I hope I am replying to the right person the breathing exercises are so helpful i promise if you can learn to breath during an attack it has done so much for me. I have anxiety for 34 years now

[Pizzaisthebestfood in reply to Darkangst]

I hope I am replying to the right person the breathing exercises are so helpful i promise if you can learn to breath during an attack it has done so much for me. I have anxiety for 34 years now

[Agora1]

Hi Darkangst, I can certainly relate to your problems in weaning off Xanax.

After having been on 0.25mg of xanax once a day for 30 years, it no longer was

effective. Maybe it never was at that low dose once a day But I believed in that small

dose that if I forgot to take it, I would literally drive back home and pop the pill even

though I didn't have any symptoms. It became a habit after a while.

Let me tell you that you are not going to die. Those feelings are coming from the

effects of the amount of medication in you. With Xanax it is quick acting and then

dips in efficacy allowing all the symptoms to come to the top. With Anxiety, our muscles

tighten, including the small muscles behind the eyes (making blurry vision) as well as

the muscles in the ear canal (making fullness in the ears.

Anxiety keeps feeding the brain lies that we've learned to believe as true causing

an overload of thoughts making us catastrophize. Once we give into these feelings

we develop a cycle of fear begets fear.

I was weaned of xanax by my Psychiatrist who specializes in taking patients off benzos.

Slowly and safely is the way every 2 weeks in decreasing the dose ever so little.

He used the Dr. Heather Ashton Method of weaning (found on YouTube for your info)

It took time even though my dosage was small, the years I took it were long.. I thought

I would never feel 100% again but I was wrong. Two years to completely come off the

medication and another year for the brain to start making the chemicals on it's own.

As each day went by, I felt myself feeling better until one day, I knew I was back and

life was once again under my control and not xanax.

Give it time dear...Accept that you are going forward to reach your goal.

Work with your doctor and most of all, Believe that you Will get better. xx

[Darkangst in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora. I guess my fear is my vision will never improve even after being off it. Is this irrational? I’d like to think it is bc that means that my vision will return to normal. It’s scary because of its unpredictability re my vision. I need reassurance I guess that it will get better. I’ve only been taking it since July 31 this year. The last time I weaned off it was also around 4 weeks. I don’t k ow what to make of that but just thought I’d mention how long I’ve been taking it this time. Thank you for further replies

[Agora1 in reply to Darkangst]

Since I am not a doctor, I would suggest that you have your eyes checked for any

physical issues that may be causing the blurry vision. xx

[Darkangst in reply to Agora1]

i have seen my opthalmologist a lot. There is nothing wrong structurally with eyes. In fact at some point—in-between meds my eyes cleared up. At the ER—when i tapered too fast from Gabapentin my eyes became really blurry—they also did MRI and CT scan—nothing wrong my brain and visions. So the only thing that points to this are the drugs. For some reason I’m really sensitive to them now.

[Agora1 in reply to Darkangst]

Which could very well be. Another thing to keep in mind is that medications

tend to cause dry eyes which in turn can make you feel more blurry vision.

Just a thought. I have that myself. xx

[Darkangst in reply to Agora1]

Yes dry eyes and just getting older. The thing is i had perfect vision before all the meds. Anyway i need to tell myself I can do this. 4 weeks is not very long.

[Agora1 in reply to Darkangst]

It's not long at all. You can do it. You'll be okay. xx

[Darkangst]

thank you for the encouragement! 💖

[jackiesj]

Hi dark angst! Glad to meet you. Ask your doc ....I have a medication that i took and cut down not totally off at first...i tried in half every other day...then i tried one tab less a day and then went every other day or off one day and on for two. Ask your doc first...but bodies are different and not knowing what schedule would work for you and with other meds.I went from 3 a day eventually to 1 a day then it was//not often in the month. i admit that there are hard days(bad) for all....dont feel guilty because that just adds to pressure and stress. yes...visionis tricky but find stable times in the day to look at words on a page...its a eye therapy. i wish you the best...