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Please pray for me, I’m suffering everyday and can’t take anymore of this torcher

Fefe09 profile image
48 Replies

2014 had gallbladder removed and fell around same time. Shortly after started having shortness breath and feels like lump right side of throat I feel . Like I’m breathing out of one side through a straw. Ent, lung and heart couldn’t find anything. Still today I have been gasping for air everyday sleeping in recliner . 2022 had colonoscopy and endoscopy . Right after waking they had pinched my lip and made sore on mouth and my right nostril was on fire. 2 days later my head felt like infection in it and throwing up and nausea was so severe I couldn’t eat for 4 months and I lost over 60 pounds. The nausea and throwing up was already a problem before I was put under . I have severe pain in my throat and head and ear everyday since. When I close my eyes the dizziness is the worst. And I wake up every few min because of my airway. The little thing that opens and closes when your asleep feels like it stuck and closes when I’m awake sometimes . It’s like they damaged my throat with the tube and caused some kind of infection in my brain and throat . I can’t hardly function because the pain in the roof of mouth feels I can’t even describe the pain. It feels like someone hammered it with a giant nail and the pain runs up through my sinuses around right side of ear up to my forehead and I feel so sick and feverish everyday all day. . My whole head and nasal cavity feels infected and I’ve been laying here crying praying for God to take me home. I don’t know what to do and my insurance only allows me to stay in my state which we have the worst doctors here. I’ve given up on life and I’m ready to be healed by God or just go home to him. I’m not wanting sympathy. I just want prayer. If you don’t believe in my Lord and savior please don’t say anything ugly about him or to me . I love him and he does answer prayers . You don’t have to pray for me or make fun of him like some have done in the past just go to the next post and ignore mine. Thanks for anyone out there who wants to pray for my healing. I love everyone even the ones that don’t love me. I pray for everyone reading this that they have peace and love and health. I’m sorry for even writing this but again when we all come together to help one another it makes a better world. Thank you

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Fefe09
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48 Replies
Figgenhoffers profile image
Figgenhoffers

I am sorry to hear about your problems I don’t pray but I do meditate and I will try to send you compassion

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toFiggenhoffers

Thank you for thinking of me

Irishisme profile image
Irishisme

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like your immune system is low. I hope you can heal in body and spirit 🍀

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toIrishisme

I really appreciate your response

fefe I’m so sorry you are suffering. it sounds unbearable what you are experiencing I hope someone is enlightened as to what is causing you all of this indescribable pain. I hope everyone can put you in their hearts minds and prayers if they pray or even meditate like figgenhoffers does. I can sense by the way you’ve written this post that things are quite unbearable for you right now.

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply tolitethatnevergoesout

Thank you my friend

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Fefe09, I may not be a doctor but your horrific physical symptoms seems to have started

after your first surgery and fall. Regarding your second surgery seems to have exacerbated

the symptoms even more so. Losing 60 lbs, continued trouble breathing, plus all the other

head and nasal symptoms you are experiencing made me feel as if you needed a second or

maybe third opinion from other doctors not associated with your hospital.

I was going to suggest going to a clinic that specializes in diagnosing difficult cases.

Knowing that your insurance won't cover going out of state makes this more challenging.

I may not know the answer but I will pray for you to find the relief and answer you are

in need of. I believe that something is wrong. May your prayers be answered soon. :) xx

litethatnevergoesout profile image
litethatnevergoesout in reply toAgora1

you’re a total saint agora.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply tolitethatnevergoesout

Thank you but I'm just an ordinary person walking this earth who

has found my purpose in life.....the medical field. :) xx

litethatnevergoesout profile image
litethatnevergoesout in reply toAgora1

while you’ve been walking you grew a halo

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply tolitethatnevergoesout

I did not know that was possible. lol xx

litethatnevergoesout profile image
litethatnevergoesout in reply toAgora1

:) xx

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toAgora1

Thank you for your prayers. I wish I could go to maybe the Mayo Clinic or just find answers. It’s been a living hell.

gajh profile image
gajh

I am so sorry for your suffering. I am glad you are here with us.

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply togajh

Thank you I really appreciate it

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee

So sorry you are going through all that. Hope someone can get to the bottom of it all. Sending gentle hugs.

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply tobethelbee

Thank you so much

Mmmmmm2020 profile image
Mmmmmm2020

I would find another doctor and get a second opinion. Nobody should have to live with that pain every day. You deserve better!!

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toMmmmmm2020

I’ve been to a few ents. They run the light down my throat and same routine . Tell me I don’t see anything and send me home. I’ve been waiting a month and half to go see a specialist and he cancelled on me yesterday . He said he wouldn’t see anyone unless they are already diagnosed with needing surgery or cancer etc. they told me I would have to see a doctors assistant first. So now I’ll have to wait and get in with the assistant. This is the circus I’ve been dealing with in my area for these past few years. I have zero faith in the doctors in my area. I wish sometimes I lived in a better educated establishment with smarter doctors , not just ones who do routine care and tell you i don’t see anything and send you home. I’m sorry for going on and on. Thankyou for your thoughts

Mmmmmm2020 profile image
Mmmmmm2020 in reply toFefe09

I am so sorry, that sounds just miserable. Not having good doctors available doesn’t help. I will be praying for you.

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toMmmmmm2020

Thanks from the bottom of my heart I need a prayer really bad answered thank you thank you thank you

Wildchipmunk profile image
Wildchipmunk

Bless your heart!! I am so sorry! This sounds like somebody might have made a big mistake here! Ask to speak with your Patient Advocate! Every patient has one and they're free to consult. You could sue them for malpractice, I think. You could also contact a pro-bono lawyer. Could a friend or family member look into this for you because I know you are uncomfortable! You need major pain meds and sedation! I don't know why God allows us to go through things like this. All I know is that He loves you deeply and is right with you. Jesus has left His rod and staff leaning right up against the wall. He is holding your hand and is so concerned about you. God is good all the time! I know you will heal. I know everything will be alright, it's just getting there---and you will. I take it you are still in the hospital? I think you could sue the pants off that hospital. But get some professional advice. What state are you in? You don't want sympathy? Well, you sure ARE getting it!! I am so sorry! I wish I could help! Just hold on tight! I hope you are getting major IV antibiotics! You are right, there IS power in prayer. Don't pray to go Home, we need you here!! I'll certainly pray for you! Wish I were there to hold your hand. I'm there in spirit. And I'm sending you prayers for healing and strength. Just hold on tight. Things will get better. You will heal, and bit by bit feel better. Contact churches and ask to be put on their prayer chains. It's slow, but you will heal. Hold on, you might not see or feel it, but there is an end to this. Take care now. I'll be thinking about you, most certainly. 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐❤️❤️❤️

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toWildchipmunk

Thank you so much. I haven’t been to the hospital since 2022 . They couldn’t help me so I’ve been laying here suffering. I don’t have the energy to fight anymore. I really appreciate your kind words.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic

Lifting you in healing prayers Fefe09. Hope they can figure it all out for you. May your health be restored to you. Hang in there 🙏🏻not sure if you do any deep breathing exercises but try it out. Inhale deep and slow through your nose, hold 2 to 3 seconds and exhale slow from your nose. Can do this in sets when you get anxious and the nose and breathing feels off.

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toSayNOtoPanic

I appreciate your prayers , it means a lot.

Wildchipmunk profile image
Wildchipmunk

Could you get another doctor? Something is definitely wrong! I thought you were already in the hospital. Try to get another opinion, if you can. If not, keep after the doctor you have. Insist that your pain and other physical symptoms reflect there is a real problem that needs their attention! It is ridiculous that they "can't find anything"!

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toWildchipmunk

I’m still suffering and don’t know where to go for help. My throats not healing and the oral surgeon just looked in my mouth and he said he couldn’t get back that far where I’m hurting. My head and right nostril and eye and ear is pounding all day long everyday for over a year . The dizziness is torcher as well. I need to get a some teeth pulled but I’m scared to because 2 years ago I got deathly sick the day or 2 after my colonoscopy and endoscopy. I’m scared , im sick, i don’t have good insurance to where I can go out of state. I’ve prayed for a healing every second of the day. I wish I had good insurance or a spouse with good insurance it does make a difference. I would have already flew to Mayo or somewhere anywhere but here. It’s taking over my life and I don’t have the money to go for additional help. I hope and pray God heals me. I feel so much infection in my body but the scan isn’t showing anything they can see. 😩🙏😭😭😭😭😭 my body feels like it’s shutting down and I’m scared to die and leave my kid and I’m scared to live this way in constant pain. Sorry for the long text. I need someone to help me and I need someone to talk to

AutumnLeaves1111 profile image
AutumnLeaves1111

Hey, I have a prayer team I will forward your prayer request to. There is power in group prayers! <3

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toAutumnLeaves1111

Yes please and thank you so much it means everything to me. People don’t realize that materials things are just material but your health and love is so much more important. To love one another and to be kind and be healthy. If you have that then you’re the richest person in the world.

AutumnLeaves1111 profile image
AutumnLeaves1111 in reply toFefe09

Of course.. 💚🌻

I also prayed for you.

Stay strong in your Faith, Fam!

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toAutumnLeaves1111

I’m hanging on by a prayer . So please keep praying my friend thank you

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09

since I’ve been sick and on Medicaid most of the better doctors won’t take it. I’ve been going to a walk in clinic and he labeled me when I first started having shortness of breath with anxiety and sent me to a therapist. So I went to therapist or psychiatrist and he told me no something else is going on. Anxiety comes and goes. And it wouldn’t cause all these problem I was having. He knew more than my doctor did. But anywhere I go the first thing the doctors tell me when they look at notes oh I see you have anxiety and they think everything is from that because I was labeled with anxiety. I never had it before my fall or my surgery. It’s like I’m having to defend myself and argue there something going on and I’m so defeated. I have no more fight in me. The feeling of breathing thru a straw has really been the main problem but now I’m dealing with much more . I asked all the doctors I have seen like the lung and heart etc could my fall and injury to my neck and collarbone and shoulder cause my shortness of breath and they all say I highly doubt it. That’s another story on its on.’its more than just falling. I worked for postal service and was already hurting in the muscle under my collarbone. It felt torn from doing heavy lifting and repetitive motion. I worked through the pain for several years then I fell in 2014 . The newspapers we deliver have straps on them and are bundled. I was reloading and moving from back of my jeep to front and when I stepped forward one of the straps was wrapped around my feet and I fell like a statue on concrete. I had landed on my right hand and arm trying to break my fall. I never reported the incident because I thought I’ll be ok tomorrow. It all went south from there. I continued working until one day I couldn’t even move my neck or shoulder from the pain. My collarbone had turned black and I couldn’t move my neck. I fought workers comp for 3’years and lost . My c1 -c-8 had bulging disk and they blamed everything on my age. Said it was degenerative and people who are in there 40s start getting this around my age. My collarbone down to my trachea is still hurting and it’s been 10 years since my fall. I have just recently been able to turn my neck and raise my arm which is still hurting . I’m just a mess and again sorry for ranting . I just need someone to listen I guess . Workers comp are not your friend that’s for sure.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply toFefe09

vent as much as you need to. See if you can get a disability advocate in your area. Most states have some form of it for no fee. Not sure where you are but look into it.

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply toSayNOtoPanic

Yes, definitely look into disability. It costs nothing to apply and you only pay if your case is approved. The fees would come out of your first check; payment is retroactive to when you applied. It takes months for the whole process but can be worth it. I was approved on first application about 8 years ago, not everyone is, but some win on appeal. Forgot to ask, are you in the US? I agree with others saying trying to get more opinions. Doesn't sound at all like they really were thorough enough. My opinion(I am not a dr) is that you need more testing, maybe an MRI or SOMETHING, IMO....

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply tobethelbee

I just started getting disability. It took me over 5 years of no pay check and a lot of crying but the good Lord provided. My attorney the first time was a complete joke. He didn’t turn in all my paper work and his phone started ringing right in the middle of the judge talking and he looked at me like it was mine. Then the last attorney , I kept waiting and waiting and I called after a year of appealing my first case and he said oh it takes time. So after another year I called backe and he said same thing and it was almost a 3rd year and i said this should have been determined already. Long story short my attorney never turned in my paper work. He tried to blame social security and they said they never received it. I finally was granted but they didn’t give me any back pay. Which it’s ok. I could have used it to fix some broken windows but at least I can pay for groceries and utilities now. Thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it. I feel embarrassed to even having to apply but my body isn’t doing what I want it to do. I’ve always worked since I was 13 years old .

bethelbee profile image
bethelbee in reply toFefe09

Am so glad you are finally getting disability, sorry you had to go through so much with incompetent attorneys. I know you said it's ok but you should have received back pay from initial filing... No need to feel embarrassed receiving it. Sometimes our bodies just can't do what we want and it's not our fault. You earned it after working so hard. After 2 years on disability I aged out into 'regular' Social Security.

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toSayNOtoPanic

Thank you . Sorry for just now getting back I’ve been really sick ever since I woke up from having colonoscopy and endoscopy 2 years ago and my health isn’t good. I have a lot going on with my shoulder ,neck and been dealing with a sore in back throat that I can’t seem to get any help with . It hasn’t healed in over a year. But getting to your comment I was approved back in 2022 for disability. I have so much going on with my body some I won’t go in to. But I applied back in 2017 for disability and I had an attorney which he was an absolute joke. We went before the judge and the judge said well I see you didn’t turn in all your paperwork. I looked over at him like what? I gave him all my medical and he didnt even turn some in. then my attorneys phone started ringing in the middle of the judge talking and he looked at me thinking it was my phone. Anyway i was denied. So i appealed it and got a new attorney in 2018. He told me it may take a while so dont get in any hurry . Could be 6’ or 12 months before they decide. So I called him to see if he heard anything in 2019 he said no no not yet these things take time. So I called him in 2020. Still he said same thing. So after 2’years I thought somethings not right I should have heard back. So I call him , now it’s 2021 and I say this should have already been looked at and decided he said let me find out and I’ll call you back. He calls me back to tell me they never received my appeal or paperwork. This whole time he kept telling me give it little while longer and they never even got my paperwork. He said they probably lost it but disability said nobody ever mailed them anything. So he finally gets the paperwork to them . I was approved in 2022 but I didn’t receive any back pay for those 4 or 5’years that i was waiting. It’s not that I’m angry well yeah I was angry but I was thankful to God i received something . My pay was affected also cause they looked at the past 10 years I had worked and 5’of them was waiting for the appeal. I don’t make enough to pay all my bills so my father helps me which makes me feel completely sad. I’ve always been independent most of my life. Worked from age 13 babysitting or doing something for money. Worked a little in high school. At one point i was trying to work 2’jobs and go to college but that didn’t last long. now I have multiple health problems and my body won’t let me do what I want to do. I stay on the couch or bed about 20 hours a day. I try and walk some around the yard. I really didn’t mean to write you a novel. But the post office did me wrong and I’m dealing with severe cervical spinal stenosis and shoulder and collarbone etc problems. I couldn’t find an attorney that would help me. Most said you can’t sue the government. The deem that said they would help me wanted 6 to 10k upfront and I couldn’t afford to pay that . Now I’m just praying and hoping to find a doctor or doctors to help me with all my different things going on. Thanks again for your support

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply toFefe09

Wow! What an ordeal and an atrocious experience with so called attorney’s. Representing and upholding the law? What a joke. Sorry you dealt with all this. Good news is you got it approved and that part is on the up since 2022. God willing now your health stuff will start to reduce and you get to a comfortable place physically. Lifting you in prayer Fefe! 🙏🏻

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toSayNOtoPanic

Thank you my friend…: I appreciate you so much.

God bless you …….

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic in reply toFefe09

Thank you so much Fefe. You as well. 🙏🏻God bless.

Chinadoll81 profile image
Chinadoll81

Oh dear friend I shall definitely pray for you and will ask that you pray for me. Returned to Scotland in 2020 after 45 year in South Africa. Medical there was second to none. Back one year. Problems starting with gallbladder in which there is a stone as big as a golf ball. Here in the Highlands surgeon would not operate because I have COPD. Wouldn't even consider epidural which is the method used in most hospitals across the world. First pain was intermittent. Started to get more painful and was given the opioid Tramadol and then liquid morphine. Now my insides don't work properly weight from 60 to 48. Have big problem with gas and nausea and pain in middle of stomach now constant. Like you, curled up in pain with a hot water bottle at my stomach, I have thought about ways to opt out if life but, my Christian faith won't let me. I need them to do a n endoscopy and colonoscopy, but that is not forthcoming. If no referral I am thinking of referring my case to the health ombusman. Can't you go to another GP for examination. My heart aches for you Blessings and love 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09

I’m sorry for what you are going through. I know your pain. I’ve thought everyday about ending my life but I have a daughter and my Christian values are the same. I’ve even thought about asking someone to do it . That’s how bad it is. I know the devil is working overtime on me and you. And a lot of others in this world. The only thing I have keeping me going is my Lord and savior and my daughter. But sometimes you get in your mind well that’s not enough because the torcher takes over your mind. I regret getting my gallbladder removed but some people feel better. Me not so much. The doctor told me back in 2014 I’m. Not taking your gallbladder out unless I know for sure that’s what it is. Then another doctor spoke with me and he said I’ll do it. My gallbladder was perfectly fine. I know most of the time it’s your diet that causes gallbladder problems and I just watched dr berg (look him up he’s really good) he said people with gallstones are lacking some kind of vitamin or mineral I can’t remember plus you have to cut out sugar and fried foods. The gallbladder helps the liver detox but you probably know all that. Anyway my pain in stomach is still there so that was disappointing surgery. I pray you have a better team of doctors where you live and you get the help you need. I love life so much but not like this. I’m praying for you to heal and be pain free in Jesus name amen. Thank you for your post

happysadd profile image
happysadd

fefe,

I’m so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I went through something similar over the past 3 years…car accident, dizziness, headaches, stopped eating, lost 27lb, endoscopies and all sorts of tests, they couldn’t find anything. Finally with the help of my therapist and some anxiety medication, I was able to take a few bites of food. And then the next day, more bites. Slowly my condition improved because I believed I could and would get better. The body and mind are so incredibly interconnected.

I’m not a very religious person but I believe in the power of the universal spirit. So, I will pray for you in the best way I know how which is to send you love and healing light. You will get better but you must believe🩷

-your friend

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply tohappysadd

Thank you . Im glad you are getting better each day. I took medication different ones but they unfortunately wasn’t helping . You are right about the mind. I was thinking postive for so long and after these new sicknesses came I’ve just lost hope I guess. I tell God I’m sorry for not being the person I’m suppose to be. I want to be strong . I know he loves us but he doesn’t tell us life will be easy. But he provides us peace. I’ve begged him over and over please take me home but it’s not up to me. So then I beg him to heal me. You had mentioned you didn’t believe. I’m not preaching to you or anything but my God loves everyone and he is what keeps me going. It’s hard so hard but I have him to lean on and friends and people like you that are kind. I pray you have a blessed day and thank you so much for your kind words it means so much.

Zhangliqun profile image
Zhangliqun

I do believe in God and Jesus himself once came to visit me while I was wide awake -- just one day before my nightmare of mood disorders began 42 years ago. Memory of that moment prevented me from eating a pistol 12 years later and ever since.

People often use suffering as a reason to reject God, never pondering to think that it is the only way virtues like courage, compassion, endurance, patience, etc, can be formed in us. How can you learn endurance or patience without feeling pain? Courage without experiencing fear? Compassion without an experience similar to someone suffering? We don't seem capable of learning these things any other way.

We never know all the reasons for our suffering, but in my case, one of them is so that I can mentor others with mood disorders -- and do it with credibility -- something even the most brilliant psychiatrist can never have who has never experienced mood disorders.

The ideal would be for a believer with terrible chronic physical pain to come alongside you right now, but for the moment I'll have to do. Maybe I can be a poor man's John the Baptist sort of somehow preparing the way for someone like that to come your way, and for Jesus to work through him or her.

In the meantime, consider that among other reasons we'll never know here, God may be preparing you, dare I say drafting you, to be a mentor to others with chronic pain.

People with chronic pain -- mental or physical -- are God's Special Forces units formed to help others fight these horrific battles. The training is excruciating and unimaginable to outsiders. But the knowledge that it is no accident, that it has a holy purpose, is for me a cup of cool water on nights when I have soaked my sheets with sweat from nameless anxiety even in the dead of winter.

In the meantime I will pray first for relief for your agony, and also for this fellow sufferer to come. So be on the lookout for just such a one...

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09

wow that was so nice to read. You are an amazing person. Thank you for that. I needed it so much. Back in 2019 my airway was blocked so bad I could hardly get out my recliner. I would force myself to walk around my yard . That’s all I could do is sit there a pant . I couldn’t even speak I would have to text. My family would have to do my shopping. Anyway I was begging god just take me now and I ended up writing poems and songs during that year. I kept a daily diary and would speak tonGod .i felt closer to God even though I was being tortured every second. It’s still hard to breathe . But getting back to that year. I told God , I said God where are you I need you are you even there . And I told him I can’t do this anymore I feel like I’m breathing through a plastic bag with a straw. So I walked out to my car and my mom had given me some clothes of my stepdads to give to someone. I thought to myself I better go through the pockets to make sure he didn’t leave anything in them. . Now these jeans haven’t probably been worn in few years . So when I get to the last pair of jeans in the back pocket of them was a piece of paper folded up And when I opened it up. It said in big letters Don’t Give Up! I was blown away. It gave me hope again and I knew God was there with me. I know he’s always there but I just can’t seem to find hope right now. I know he loves me more than anyone could ever love me. I just hate that we have to suffer while here in earth. If I didn’t have Jesus my best friend to talk to I wouldn’t be able to even make it through today. He is my one and only hope and he is my true love. Thanks again God bless you

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman

So Very sorry you have to go through All this --Not Fair! I am praying for you to find a caring & compassionate doctor(s) to get you the proper help. Sending prayers for your healing!

Fefe09 profile image
Fefe09 in reply toWeatherwoman

Thank you so much .

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