How to let go?

[sad_watermelon]

I think I had already asked for advice about this, but sadly, I couldn't find any way out of it.

I want to let go of my ex boyfriend. The situation here is tricky, because we broke up on good terms - I didn't want to go into a long distance relationship, knowing that 5 years later I will be living with his mother and she'll be a huge part of our life and he was tired of supporting me and loving me (that's what he said). I wrote the whole story in my post "first breakup" if you want to know all about it.

He is the only person that I had and that I could rely on. He was giving what I always needed - constant presence. I can write him at any time, and be sure that he'll respond within an hour (maximum). And will actually replay to me, because he knows me more that my 2 other friends do (and they don't text much). I have always needed to talk to someone, to feel it's presence, to be hugged...

Now he's working every day except Mondays and every time I make some free time on my Monday to see him (asking him if it's possible in advance, and he says "I don't know" or "probably") when Monday comes he says that it won't be possible. He knows that in 3 weeks I will be moving away for university and I'll be abroad for a really long time. He also knows I travel a lot (not further than 20km away from where he's living, but I still have to make an arrangement) and he always does this! He either wants to watch a movie, stay with his mom or clean the house, but can never make 20 minutes for me.

WORST: The last time I went to see him (he doesn't want to come to my place, because wants to be with his mom... yes, he's a grown up, yes) he was acting awfully, treated me badly and I ended up with a big bump on my head because of him.

And even after ALL of this, I just can't let go! I want this trait in me to disappear, I don't want to feel bad when he can't see me, I don't want to be the only one always asking for some free time, always checking if he texted, always needing a hug. I want to be able to give myself everything I deserve. Everything that makes me happy. I want to make myself the happiest. Not waiting for someone else to make me happy. And most definitely, I don't want him to be such an important part of my life, because he doesn't deserve it. Yes, when he's kind to me I feel so good, but when he's not, I'm feeling bad.

[Lovely2024]

Hi sad watermelon, (love your username name by the way). I think you’re on the right track to be exactly the kind of woman you want to be, because all that you say at the end of your message makes a lot of sense. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t have time for you anymore and like he said, he’s tired of loving you and supporting you? Someone who sometimes treats you well but other times treats you badly? (By the way, maybe he’s simply worried about his mom for some reason, and she’s his priority right now. It’s certainly within his right). The important thing is to realize that, as important as he was to you he is not the last man on earth and you’ll see this when you go to university. There’s a world out there. You’ll meet new people and most probably will forget about him really soon. So, don’t force yourself to forget about him, you will do it automatically once you are in a new environment surrounded by new people, doing new things. Just be wise and make sure not to give your heart to anyone who is not genuinely interested in you. You will be fine. Wish you the best at university!

[Starrlight in reply to Lovely2024]

It will pass in time, all that has you missing him. Trust the process.

[sad_watermelon in reply to Lovely2024]

Thank you so much!❤️

[Starrlight in reply to sad_watermelon]

You deserve everything good. 💐❤️🌺🌸💕💗