how do I let go?

[rain_55]

My heart hurts. I feel like a fool because after being broken up with I still beg for his attention. I still beg for the old him to come back. The him that loved me and promised me forever. But that part of him is gone. I cant seem to accept it. I still want to fight for him, for us, but he's given up. He seems to be doing better with out me than I am. Every time i try to reach out to him he breaks my heart more and more. Whats wrong with me? Why cant I let him go? Why am I not meant to be happy or to get what I want for once? Just once.

[Agora1]

dearest rain_55, losing someone we love is one of the hardest facts of life to go through. Of course your heart hurts, it's broken right now. You gave it to him unconditionally forever. Forever doesn't always mean the same to everyone. The part of him that you fell in love with no longer exists. We can't make someone go back to what they were. By pursuing him hoping things will change, just makes your heart break more and more.

There's nothing wrong with you that time won't heal. You need to grieve what might have been. You don't want it to end ugly, You want to be able to have those nice memories to get you through these hardest times.

This is not a punishment to you in not getting what you want or being happy. For everything in life there is a reason. We may not understand it at the time but sooner or later you will see, this wasn't the time for you. Some people come into our lives for a season and some forever. Your "just once" time will happen when the time is right. xx

[rain_55 in reply to Agora1]

thank u

[Hidden]

You are fighting your brain. When we fall in love with someone and especially if their is a physical relationship the brain releases chemicals that can bond you to that person. It’s hard to turn that off.

[reinagrace]

I know how hard this is and when i was in that situation I begged too, did more than beg, but i look back at my behavior and regret how little i valued myself. How i degraded myself. Please however you can manage to - don't beg, don't even contact him . It is true- if someone loves you they will come back and if they don't then they are not worthy of your love or any of your time. Please focus on your worth . I speak as someone who wasted years on worthless men and i regret it so much. I don't know your background, but i know this- women who are healthy and strong, either because they grew up with loving parents or learned to become emotionally healthy and grew wise-- do NOT beg. When a man drops them, they have the self-respect to realize he is not worth a moment of their precious time, and if they are tempted to reach out they fight that temptation until it finally fades away. Women of my background, who were abandoned by our fathers, or for whatever reason didn't have self-worth- are the ones who beg . I learned from the strong women, and from my many mistakes and i will never ever beg again. You said in your post "Every time i try to reach out to him he breaks my heart more and more. " That's PRECISELY what is bound to happen, it is predictable. But each time you RESIST that temptation, the opposite happens. Each time your heart will HEAL more and more. I pray for your healing, to forget this person and to enjoy your friends and other good blessings in life.

[rain_55 in reply to reinagrace]

All i have to say is wow. Thank u for ur honesty. And ur so right. Staying away is gonna be hard because how much i still love him but i cant keep getting hurt

[reinagrace in reply to rain_55]

my faith helped me, that and good friends. i drew strength from several verses, one of them is Luke 18:27- "What is impossible with men is possible with God" . this is so real for me- bc i knew on my own strength i could have never stopped my behavior- i knew with that last heartbreak a few years ago, i finally conquered this demon in me , and i knew it was not of my own strength. Ask God to help and He will. Praying for you to resist temptation, and feel God's love so you know you're too valuable for anything less than authentic love

[purposelife]

Sorry you are going through a heartbreak. I know it can hurt badly. It will take some time to get over the pain. Try keeping yourself busy by doing things you enjoy. I pray it gets easier for you to move forward and hope overtime you will look back with joy and not regret. Take care

[rain_55 in reply to purposelife]

thank u