Head hurts insane. Stuck with mom. Is the divorce and all this suffering my fault? Thoughts racing

[Against_the_current]

The wardrobe and the boiler broke and mom groaned "everything is breaking". I feel like it means "everything is breaking and i don't have a husband to repair and pay, im so unfortunate, im broke. We are broke. I have to pay for therapy, meds and whatever me and sis need through my savings. I worry if we're broke because of the alcohol or just inflation. I worry the divorce caused it all and i caused the divorce (helped by my school bullies). a psychologist i had told me that my dad left because men feel uneasy around growing daughters (Oedipus complex) and since i was bullied i didn't go out and i couldn't go live in the kitchen because i hated the smell. i never had a room. and now im suffering because he left and it impacted mom. I'm going insane

[blackcat64013]

Hi, I am sorry that you are taking responsibility for everyone in your family. Your father has his reasons for leaving which may or may not include you. Please remember that you don't have to take his concerns on.

PS - it's the male child who might have the Oedipus complex & female version has a different name.

The forum members can offer support and encouragement for as long as you need it.

In the end, you will need to acknowledge that you need assistance and locate the local information centre and ask for the help you need.

I am hope and pray🙏 tomorrow is a better day 💜 🐈‍⬛

[Against_the_current in reply to blackcat64013]

Reversed Electris complex. But it doesn't matter. What matters is dad broke mom and ran letting her break ne. And then had a child which led her to alchoholism

[Alpakka123]

You did not cause them to get divorced. You don't have the power to have caused that. My pastor recently told me this, so I thought I'd pass it on to you. In my case, it was "her getting sick has nothing to do with you. If you think you caused it, then you must think you have tremendous power over others. You don't have the power to have caused her to get sick ("her" is my abuser, who is dying)".

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Woah. Thank you. I was just caught im the Theory of strings and The butterfly effect. I did something which led to something else. I wish this country wasn't forced to be atheist - orthodox and we could actually talk with church staff. Here they just spray holy water and are done

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

You're welcome.

I wasn't even thinking of causing her illness until I was talking to a friend over the phone and burst out crying when she said "Alpakka, you did not cause this". I then told my husband about it, who said I must have been sub-consciously thinking it. This is what I passed onto the pastor. When you typed the words "...caused their divorce" I was like "this sounds very familiar...". I'm glad I can help you out with this because it's a huge burden for you to carry around when you don't need to be carrying it around. You did not cause their divorce because you don't have that power. I did not cause my abuser to get sick because I don't have that power.

I felt lighter after my pastor said this. I hope you can feel lighter knowing that you didn't cause the divorce.

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Thank you. I'm not talking about subconscious wishing for them to divorce just being a problematic child. My bullies divorced my parents and broke mom who broke me. I see this divorce and the baby are killing her