has anyone ever gotten over the feeling of being useless?
I feel like I don’t bring happiness to anyone in my life including myself. Don’t tell me believe that I do matter. I don’t. I don’t mean in a way that there’ll be no one affected by my death. People will be. But I don’t know. I feel like me being alive is also just harming them (mentally) in some way or the other. I hurt everyone. But I don’t mean to. My severe anxiety leads to me ignoring people. For example, a friend of mine was so excited for me to come home after a long time, she wanted me tp stay over at her house. But me being the stupid idiot that I am did not. I just felt very anxious. I did not want to go. She was hurt.
I’m not responsible. Or that’s what others say. But I’m having to put in so much more effort than most people in everything. Whatever I do goes wrong.
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From my own experience it's proving it to yourself starting small first and working your way through and then reminding yourself of what you have done to show that you are not useless. I hope that makes sense.
Building on what Trentz said . . . maybe start with very small action steps to prove that your thinking is just your perspective, and that maybe your perspective is skewed negatively. Are there examples in your life (even very small) that you aren't hurting people, or situations? Can you think of the nice things you've said or done? Or times where you've challenged your anxiety, and done something that you needed to do, even though it was hard?
My anxiety and depression make me think that others are better off without me in their lives. But there is evidence that that just isn't true. That evidence is often not obvious... but if I look for it, I can find examples of me encouraging others, or trying to make things easier for someone.
I understand that you hurt your friend's feelings. But please remember that you didn't mean to. I'm sure you tried to go to their house. Your anxiety convinced you not to. Give yourself grace. You can always try again to make it up to your friend.
maybe you could send a nice card telling her how thoughtful they were inviting you to visit. You didn’t mean to hurt their feelings but you just wasn’t able to.
I can understand the feeling. I've held back a lot in life due to my fears and anxiety. It can make you feel like you're not good enough, like you let people down, and that you've missed out.
There have been some good times and decent times too. Don't forget that. Even if seems like the negative outweighs it.
I'm hard on myself, and I often think that I'm useless or not good enough. But, then sometimes I manage to be useful or do something beneficial. I can relate to having to put so much effort into things, and it seems like so much more so than other people. That might in part be due to the resistance of anxiety, and the apathy of depression. It might also be a difference in motivation and interest, or maybe skill gaps in certain areas.
Try to be good to yourself, and give yourself a chance to work through the challenges. I understand it is hard, I have a similar struggle.
As for your friend, did you tell her about your issue with anxiety? Did you apologize for hurting her? I'm guessing no, as I have not wanted to admit my anxiety issues to others, only when forced to.
I always get excited to go some place and visit with people. But as the time gets closer my anxiety just gets worse and worse. By the day before I am making excuses why I shouldn’t go. I know my husband gets disgusted with me. He doesn’t except the fact I have anxiety. His words, get over it! It does make a person feel useless. But I have found the good I do for others outweighs what I cant. Even being here to support someone else gives me worth.
It's hard when you feel so negative about yourself, but you are not completely to blame.
How about you sent a card or a message to the friend who wanted you to stay and tell her you wanted to, but you were wiped out after the journey and didn't want to being the atmosphere down, and finish with Can we make a date to meet up sometime next week?
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