let me just start with saying this might be seen as insensitive to some but it’s my experience I’m just stating my genuine experience.
So for the last long while my immediate family has had a lot of Medical troubles, including myself. I’ve been in and out of so many different hospitals across the city either visiting family or getting treatment myself just trying to remember them makes my head spin. Being in a hospital setting is really triggering for me because the most traumatic times of my life have all happened in hospitals, that sterile, quiet place feels like a weight that I can’t pick up and it’s filled my life lately. It doesn’t get easier to be there. I feel like a terrible person dreading every visit but at this point it’s my mind’s natural reaction, like a flinch or a twitch. I’ve been trying to practice self care and do things with my spare time that ease my anxiety but even my home life is filled with appointments and calls to specialists. I’m just so tired
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Sarge27
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hello Sarge27. It’s ok to have these feelings. It’s even better that you are talking about them. You should let people know so they are aware of your feelings.
Im sorry there’s been so much time at the hospital. I hate hospitals. Maybe telling yourself you are helping someone else by being there when spending time with somebody else might ease your anxiety? Trying to shift the thoughts of having to go to helping others might help. Just a suggestion.
I have experienced the same feeling from being at my home sometimes. I have been here so long, in the same environment, and much of that time is spent feeling ill because I am now 72 and have started the collapse period of life. It sucks. Something new each day that adds to the burden of my life, and being stuck in my house, with nowhere to go. I have to actually quiet my mind and feelings, and then reach down within myself to find a good reason to go on. There has been something for me to live for each time I search for meaning, so I can be interested in life, not disappointed by my surroundings. I hope this has some meaning for you.
That is an awesome way to think of it. There are days I think what’s the point of being here. Making a conscious effort to find a reason makes sense. I am going to remember that. Thank you
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