Hello,
oh gosh where to begin. Recently work stressed me out so bad that the right side of my head went numb for a few days and my emotions felt numbed. But along with that, it sparked these random thoughts of “committing.” Now I’ve no reason to do such a thing. I’m quite happy to be here. I want to be here. I just got my dream car, I have a full time job, I get to have some spending money, I’m a new aunt, I have a loving family. Everything. But the (idea I suppose?) keeps popping back up. I’ve never once thought doing this act. I knew that life gets scary sometimes. So it terrifies me that it’s fluttering around in my brain like it’s welcomed.
Today my brain suddenly “dissolved” that emotion block. I felt it drain from my head. And was quite fine all day… til I got home. The thought came back and gave me anxiety again. Am I a risk? I don’t think I am, and would very much like for this to stop. I don’t want the anxiety to upset my stomach anymore heh. The idea of possibly “spiraling” also scares the day lights out of me. I’ve started talking to a therapist but I feel there isn’t much progress, though it’s only been maybe 4 days.
Is this normal? To suddenly feel like this? Am I just scaring myself? Or am I losing a grip on myself? This doesn’t make me feel good…