Suffocating

[Against_the_current]

im panicking all day. suffocating. having hard time take care of myself. feed myself. claustrophobia and agoraphobia at the same time. had a nightmare about mom and still messed. the place is messing me. i feel like suffocating

[DogMama2024]

Hello Against_the_current,

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I have extreme Anxiety as well. I have a fear of driving, thunderstorms, and various other things. I hate this and just want to be "normal". How are you coping??

[Against_the_current in reply to DogMama2024]

I'm not coping. Just living with it. And it's enough. My sister is also scared of thunderstorms and bugs and msths but she's the bravest person. Find soothing things and use them when you're triggered. It's okay to be anxious

[CLB1125]

From what you’ve been saying I think it’s safe to say, you can’t handle living in your accommodation. Have you just came right out and told your mother you can’t do it? Have you considered just moving back near your mother but in your own place? Getting a job? You would be close to your mom but could go to your house when you and your mom can’t get along. I understand it’s scary to think about yourself as on your own but living with the constant pressure of not knowing where to live is just too stressful for you. Making a final decision on where to live may reduce your stress. Just an idea to ponder.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

Yeah. It's important to hear that from someone else because i have been thinking that but scared if im making a mistake. I really think i need a place in my city. I wish i had my own room so i still lived at home and got food, water and company but could distance myself from mom. Or at least in the same neighborhood. I'm looking at places in my city but i will have to get a job and stabilise myself. I thought of living with mom for a while and working part time till i save up, got more stable and get used to working. Because for a place i need a full time job. Im scared that even in my city, i would experience what i experience here, this difficulty taking care of myself and the household.

[CLB1125 in reply to Against_the_current]

But ask yourself, is living with your mother and her abuse harder than living in a place of your own? You know eventually you will have to get a job and take care of yourself. Only you can make that decision when it will be. You are telling yourself you can’t do it. What if you turned that around and start telling yourself you can do it!! You are taking very difficult classes in school so I know you are very smart. start telling yourself that you are capable of doing whatever it is you want to do. I know that’s difficult to do. I am fearful of everything too. It all starts with believing in yourself, and taking that first step.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

I thought i could do it when i came. But my illness is progressing

[CLB1125]

I understand

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

Finally someone understands, im tired of everyone telling me to go to the mental hospital like im the Joker. In my country they're like jail

[CLB1125]

I can see the agony you’re in and my heart hurts for you. You paint a very good picture of what the hospitals are like there and that’s scary. You said you are talking to men online, I just want to caution you, that can be very dangerous. Be careful!! My niece was talking to a man she thought was a nice guy. Then he wanted to borrow money, not a little bit, thousands of dollars!! When she told him no he began stocking her!! She keeps reporting him but he just changes his identity and keeps doing it!! I’m not telling you what to do, just to be careful!!

[SoporRose]

CLB1125,

I admire your clear-headed advice. I have nothing to add but support for you and AtC.