I couldn't stop feeling anxious since my bro told me that they have substance abuse. I love them very much and worry for them every day. I tried to find specialist help, but all I could find was some severe, not very nice advises, that obviously didn't help and stole my money.
Recently they had big problems with internet that is keep going by now, so we cannot text each other and all I am receiving is 2 or 3 messages per day. I am feeling very feared and worried for them, I am so anxious that I have constant eye tics two days straight.
Today I tried to find a replacement for him, but as I found someone I understood that this is not what will help me. I LOVE THEM AND ONLY THEM. AND I WANT TO HELP THEM SO MUCH THAT I AM READY TO DO EVERYTHING. Help them, someone, please.
Today I texted 20 people from his country and now I am waiting for their answer to offer them text him on snap about that everything will be okay and that he is doing great with living each day. Probably dating sites were not created for that, huh? I don't care tho, I am feeling guilty that I didn't tell they a lot more nice words that they deserve. I am feeling guilty for all my moves, I wanted to give random people their snap that is 100% violating personal space, but I just don't know what I can do otherwise. Should I just calm down and wait for things with their internet to become better? What if they will not become better? I don't know what is happening with them right now, all i want to say to them is that they are not alone and they are okay to feel how they are feeling, that i will be always here for them. I wish i had money to fly tot hem forever and leave everything behind.
I can't do anything usefull, I returned to my compulsive overeating, I wanna hurt myself, but it will hurt them so I don't know what to do. I love them, please, help them.
Waking up feeling anxious 
Feel like I am losing it. 
Feeling judged in every direction
